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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

If you didn't get a gift on your anniversary would it bother you?

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BF and I have been dating for 2 years.  On our anniversary, we went to dinner, then he came home and he called his mother to bs for a cuple hours.....until I went to bed.  I had a gift for him, but did not give it to him unless we both mentioned it.  He had nothing for me.  I'm kind of hurt that he didnt even think of it.....but i dont know if I should be.  Would you be upset if you got nothing?

by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 8:44 AM
Replies (101-110):
MomOfTwo0713
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but aren't you contradicting yourself here. You say a relationship shouldn't require work yet your on her complaining how your boyfriend didn't get you a gift and was on the phone with his mother so obviously everything in your relationship doesn't come so easy like you think it should. Just saying.


Quoting 1der1:


Please don't take any of my questions or answers as sarcasm but.......if he got himself into this drinking problem, don't you think he should be getting himself out of it rather than you holding his hand?  To me...a relationship shouldn't require work. 


Quoting skippito:

We were teens when we first got together so we grew up together that in itself takes work. I was sexually abused as a child and worked through that with him by my side, trust issues, insecurities ect.. takes work to get to a good place emotionally. He had a drinking problem a few years ago that he worked through with me by his side. We have a home and two children we work to strive for balance in our lives as parents, lovers, and friends. Uh I feel like i could bore you to death with the details of working on a relationship. But you get the idea. For us it takes work daily, monthly, yearly if you will, to make it strong and lasting. I supose i see each day we get to have together as a gift.





Quoting 1der1:


A question for you if I may.....what did you do to "work hard on your relationship?"



Quoting skippito:

Our years together mean the world to me! You are misunderstanding me. We are proud to say 18yrs and counting especially in this age of divorce. We celebrate our lives together in many different ways. I am saying that because we don't do a traditional celebration with gifts my feelings are not hurt by not recieving one. I have worked hard on my relationship and can say with certainty it means more than words can express.











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1stTimeMom1982
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this

No I wouldn't be. Getting out alone to dinner with DH would be more then enough for me :) 

MomOfTwo0713
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:27 AM
Just curious, if being thoughtful and caring does not show you love, what does?


Quoting 1der1:


I know what a relationship is.  Someone being kind, thoughtful does not show love to me.  How is it any different between a guy buying you something and someone else?  Only difference is you might get laid later that nite. 


Quoting lapcounter:

LOL it's not the same but by reading your other comments I don't believe you know what a relationship is. To each their own.



Quoting 1der1:


No actually i'm not young.  We both see it differntly and to me it truly just shows being thoughtful.  How does it stand out about what anyone else would do....like a friend or your sister doing that stuff for you?  To me....its the same.  But....that's just my opinion.



Quoting lapcounter:

In my eyes it's different. He is thinking of me and what I might like, it is not something I have asked for, too me it sounds like you are young.





Quoting 1der1:


A question came up with us the other day.....just because someone buys you something doesn't signify love does it?  I mean anyone can buy you anything just to be thoughtful.  In my eyes....that's not love.  That is being thoughtful of someone or buying them off. 




Quoting lapcounter:

He knows I like Sonics lemon, cherry waters or ice tea and he will bring me one without me asking, he knows I like wine so he will bring home a bottle, leaves little notes either on my Facebook wall or we have a cabinet in the kitchen that is a chalkboard he will leave it there, spa days or something from VS. He just knows me so well.







Quoting 1der1:

such as....(if you dont mind me asking)






Quoting lapcounter:

This my husband does little things throughout the year, I don't need a gift on our anniversary.









Quoting edelweiss23:

I didn't get one.











It never bothers me. He shows me all year long how much he loves me.




















Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
1der1
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:27 AM

No i am not contradicting myself because.....i never said that my relationship was perfect nor was it meant to be.  I didn't complain that he didn't get me a gift.  I asked "if you didnt get a gift on your anniversary would it bother you?" and that mine didn't and i was a bit hurt at first....but didn't complain.


Quoting MomOfTwo0713:

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but aren't you contradicting yourself here. You say a relationship shouldn't require work yet your on her complaining how your boyfriend didn't get you a gift and was on the phone with his mother so obviously everything in your relationship doesn't come so easy like you think it should. Just saying.


Quoting 1der1:


Please don't take any of my questions or answers as sarcasm but.......if he got himself into this drinking problem, don't you think he should be getting himself out of it rather than you holding his hand?  To me...a relationship shouldn't require work. 


Quoting skippito:

We were teens when we first got together so we grew up together that in itself takes work. I was sexually abused as a child and worked through that with him by my side, trust issues, insecurities ect.. takes work to get to a good place emotionally. He had a drinking problem a few years ago that he worked through with me by his side. We have a home and two children we work to strive for balance in our lives as parents, lovers, and friends. Uh I feel like i could bore you to death with the details of working on a relationship. But you get the idea. For us it takes work daily, monthly, yearly if you will, to make it strong and lasting. I supose i see each day we get to have together as a gift.





Quoting 1der1:


A question for you if I may.....what did you do to "work hard on your relationship?"



Quoting skippito:

Our years together mean the world to me! You are misunderstanding me. We are proud to say 18yrs and counting especially in this age of divorce. We celebrate our lives together in many different ways. I am saying that because we don't do a traditional celebration with gifts my feelings are not hurt by not recieving one. I have worked hard on my relationship and can say with certainty it means more than words can express.













1der1
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:29 AM


Because if I was your friend, neighbor, sister whatever.....and I bought you a drink or just a small gift that reminded me of you when I was in the store....does that mean I love you?  No.  It means I was thinking of you.  Or....if I did something for you because I cared that also doesnt mean that i love you.  Could simply mean that I'm your friend and that's what friends do?

Quoting MomOfTwo0713:

Just curious, if being thoughtful and caring does not show you love, what does?


Quoting 1der1:


I know what a relationship is.  Someone being kind, thoughtful does not show love to me.  How is it any different between a guy buying you something and someone else?  Only difference is you might get laid later that nite. 


Quoting lapcounter:

LOL it's not the same but by reading your other comments I don't believe you know what a relationship is. To each their own.



Quoting 1der1:


No actually i'm not young.  We both see it differntly and to me it truly just shows being thoughtful.  How does it stand out about what anyone else would do....like a friend or your sister doing that stuff for you?  To me....its the same.  But....that's just my opinion.



Quoting lapcounter:

In my eyes it's different. He is thinking of me and what I might like, it is not something I have asked for, too me it sounds like you are young.





Quoting 1der1:


A question came up with us the other day.....just because someone buys you something doesn't signify love does it?  I mean anyone can buy you anything just to be thoughtful.  In my eyes....that's not love.  That is being thoughtful of someone or buying them off. 




Quoting lapcounter:

He knows I like Sonics lemon, cherry waters or ice tea and he will bring me one without me asking, he knows I like wine so he will bring home a bottle, leaves little notes either on my Facebook wall or we have a cabinet in the kitchen that is a chalkboard he will leave it there, spa days or something from VS. He just knows me so well.







Quoting 1der1:

such as....(if you dont mind me asking)






Quoting lapcounter:

This my husband does little things throughout the year, I don't need a gift on our anniversary.









Quoting edelweiss23:

I didn't get one.











It never bothers me. He shows me all year long how much he loves me.






















alexislovesjr
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:34 AM

I never did with dating anniversaries. I always do for our wedding anniversaries, now with wedding one yeah I would be mad.

MomOfTwo0713
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Well if it isn't "meant to be" than why not get out now before you both put to much time in.


Quoting 1der1:

No i am not contradicting myself because.....i never said that my relationship was perfect nor was it meant to be.  I didn't complain that he didn't get me a gift.  I asked "if you didnt get a gift on your anniversary would it bother you?" and that mine didn't and i was a bit hurt at first....but didn't complain.



Quoting MomOfTwo0713:

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but aren't you contradicting yourself here. You say a relationship shouldn't require work yet your on her complaining how your boyfriend didn't get you a gift and was on the phone with his mother so obviously everything in your relationship doesn't come so easy like you think it should. Just saying.





Quoting 1der1:


Please don't take any of my questions or answers as sarcasm but.......if he got himself into this drinking problem, don't you think he should be getting himself out of it rather than you holding his hand?  To me...a relationship shouldn't require work. 



Quoting skippito:

We were teens when we first got together so we grew up together that in itself takes work. I was sexually abused as a child and worked through that with him by my side, trust issues, insecurities ect.. takes work to get to a good place emotionally. He had a drinking problem a few years ago that he worked through with me by his side. We have a home and two children we work to strive for balance in our lives as parents, lovers, and friends. Uh I feel like i could bore you to death with the details of working on a relationship. But you get the idea. For us it takes work daily, monthly, yearly if you will, to make it strong and lasting. I supose i see each day we get to have together as a gift.








Quoting 1der1:


A question for you if I may.....what did you do to "work hard on your relationship?"




Quoting skippito:

Our years together mean the world to me! You are misunderstanding me. We are proud to say 18yrs and counting especially in this age of divorce. We celebrate our lives together in many different ways. I am saying that because we don't do a traditional celebration with gifts my feelings are not hurt by not recieving one. I have worked hard on my relationship and can say with certainty it means more than words can express.



















Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
amanda81919
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:45 AM
We only go out to dinner. And I make a cake, but that's it. It s never bothered me.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
OliviaW.
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:45 AM

I never get one. I'm lucky if we go out to dinner. 

MomOfTwo0713
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 11:50 AM
No not exactly but it shows you they care about you. In my opinion a husband and wife show they love each other by showing they care, showing they think about you, worry about you, etc. Whether it be by getting your favorite drink occasionaly, helping you when you need help, writing you a sweet note or text in the middle of the day just to say they love you. The list goes on. Just saying it doesn't mean its true. You have to show it as well. So I was just wondering how your bf shows he loves you or vice versa. Its a two way street.


Quoting 1der1:


Because if I was your friend, neighbor, sister whatever.....and I bought you a drink or just a small gift that reminded me of you when I was in the store....does that mean I love you?  No.  It means I was thinking of you.  Or....if I did something for you because I cared that also doesnt mean that i love you.  Could simply mean that I'm your friend and that's what friends do?


Quoting MomOfTwo0713:

Just curious, if being thoughtful and caring does not show you love, what does?





Quoting 1der1:


I know what a relationship is.  Someone being kind, thoughtful does not show love to me.  How is it any different between a guy buying you something and someone else?  Only difference is you might get laid later that nite. 



Quoting lapcounter:

LOL it's not the same but by reading your other comments I don't believe you know what a relationship is. To each their own.





Quoting 1der1:


No actually i'm not young.  We both see it differntly and to me it truly just shows being thoughtful.  How does it stand out about what anyone else would do....like a friend or your sister doing that stuff for you?  To me....its the same.  But....that's just my opinion.




Quoting lapcounter:

In my eyes it's different. He is thinking of me and what I might like, it is not something I have asked for, too me it sounds like you are young.







Quoting 1der1:


A question came up with us the other day.....just because someone buys you something doesn't signify love does it?  I mean anyone can buy you anything just to be thoughtful.  In my eyes....that's not love.  That is being thoughtful of someone or buying them off. 





Quoting lapcounter:

He knows I like Sonics lemon, cherry waters or ice tea and he will bring me one without me asking, he knows I like wine so he will bring home a bottle, leaves little notes either on my Facebook wall or we have a cabinet in the kitchen that is a chalkboard he will leave it there, spa days or something from VS. He just knows me so well.









Quoting 1der1:

such as....(if you dont mind me asking)







Quoting lapcounter:

This my husband does little things throughout the year, I don't need a gift on our anniversary.











Quoting edelweiss23:

I didn't get one.













It never bothers me. He shows me all year long how much he loves me.





























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