I'm worried about my husband. And, if I'm being honest, I'm harboring some resentment. He is a fabulous provider and he works really hard, and he does try to maintain a healthy balance between work and home, but it's falling apart.
He manages a retail store. He's been a store manager at three different stores over the last 3 years and now he runs the flagship store (the biggest store in the chain). Over these years he has gotten more and more work-oriented. A few things have happened recently that make me feel really worried about him, his health and his stress levels... and one thing in particular has me still seething after months :( My daughter and I were sick with a stomach flu. My son is 2 and he was fine. I was flat out incapacitated with horribly painful intestinal cramps (I've had two babies without painkillers and it was pretty close to that painful) and called him several times, begging him to come home. He kept saying he couldn't. He just couldn't. He finally made it home after hours and hours and he felt really bad, but I was so upset about it. I could not take care of our two year old. He could have seriously hurt himself.
He has been skipping lunches to work and he doesn't eat breakfast because it means getting up a few minutes earlier. Which means he frequently doesn't eat until he gets home at 5 or 6. Yesterday he came home and told me "I was so busy I didn't even drink any water."
I feel like any job that has you so concerned about getting your work done that you can't see to your very most basic needs is taking up too much of your life. And I don't think it's healthy or necessary for him to do this to himself. He insists that I don't understand, that he HAS to do these things if he wants to keep his job. I just flat out disagree and feel like HE doesn't understand that he is asking too much of himself, and if he were to take it just a little bit easier, maybe the work wouldn't get done like he wants it to, but he wouldn't be starving himself, going without water or bathroom breaks, he wouldn't be unable to come home in urgent situations.
They gave him extra paid vacation days for working so hard over Christmas... he never took them. There was always a reason. He has too many interviews to do, he has this shipment coming in, etc. I reminded him that the point of the extra days was so that he didn't have to worry about those things for a couple of days. He agreed, but still never took them. I've been bugging him to take a couple of vacation days for more than a month and he won't do it. I'm so frustrated with him over this and I feel like he doesn't see what he's doing or how much it effects him AND me AND our kids.
Or am I overreacting? Is this how most people do full time work?