so my husband and i have been together alomost 8 yrs and married almost 4 yrs. we had out 1st baby girl 9 weeks ago. i am stressed out and becoming resentful with him b/c he rarely ever helps me with the baby with out being asked. i love my baby more than anything but life was sooo different before baby. ( i wouldnt change anything now) my husband treated me like a person and now i feel like he treats me like i am just there to clean up after him, make him dinner, and take care of our baby. he complains that we are never intimate anymore but i am just not there with him right now. but its not like he is trying anyway. i feel like i am his mother asking him if he took a shower or brushed his teeth for the day. that never happened before. maybe i am asking him to much but i am tired of doing everything in the house. we argue all the time. what do i do?
Congrats on the baby
Just stop going out of your way and doing all that for him,, I'm sorry but you should not have to remind a grown man to brush his teeth or shower.. Maybe he wants to be the baby, who knows. YOur priority is the baby and not him.
yea its really kinda ridiculous. it seems like ever since the baby came he started acting like this. never before. everything was split pretty even. i go back to work in a few wks and this def has to get cleared up. i am gonna try to talk to him about this tomorrow. in-laws r watching baby so maybe we can actually talk w/no interuptions. fingers crossed.
Well you just had a baby so of course life sucks. lol
When you ask he helps right? That's a GOOD thing!!!!!
Otherwise just relax. You'll settle down after this huge change and find ways to connect again, say over your adorable dd's first food and word.
you are still recovering from having a baby -- he needs to understand the stress and toll that having a baby has taken on you mentally and physically. i would try to sit down with him and explain to him why you feel the way you do and tell him that it would help you a great deal if he could step it up a bit and help out more. he sounds like he wasn't ready to have a baby and now that it's here, he is trying to pretend like it's not. he is a father now and wll always be a father. but he was your husband first and he needs to realize this.
This is actually pretty common.
Can I ask...when you ask your husband to help with the baby, do you tell him how to do it, or so you just let him find his own way without judgement?
Stop mothering him. Start treating him like an adult.
A lot of new dads feel pushed aside and abandoned because the mother becomes so focused on the baby. Yes, babies are a lot of work and require a lot of attention and energy. Make an effort to show him you love and appreciate him, even if you make a big deal about seomthing seemingly inconsiquential. Find ways to make him parent without you being there looking over his shoulder. The sooner you allow him his opportunities to bond with your daughter in his own way. Once he is engaged and feels apart of everything he will want to be more involved and helpful
What is your best......
- aponzi27
on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:57 PM