Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Which One?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:56 PM
  • 14 Replies

How is it possible to judge these kind of things, who decides the validity of the relationship. I am so shocked at my friends behaviour I didnt even know how to respond to her. She thinks that since she is married her realationship is more strong i guess? She told me she cant just walk away like I can.. ummm hello I cant either nor would I ever want to.

Me and SO's realtionship: 8 years together. At 2 years together we had our first, and 5 years together we had our second.  We own a home together, everything is together.

Her relations ship with her DH: dated for 3 months then married. Had her first kid at a year together and her second at 3 years. They live with her parents and barely scrape by.

Marriage just isnt a big deal to us to have a solid strong relationship, we already have extreme commitment to eachother and a solid relationship.  If we were to go sign papers to be married, it would almost be a hassle at this point to change my name on everything.

I guess I am asking if others feel this way if you could explain the reasoning behind your logic.

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:56 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MJP76
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:13 PM

I think your friend is jealous of what you have, and she's projecting that on to you.

Gmgej
by Michele on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:16 PM

I don't think you should put too much emphasis on her words, it sounds like she is jealous. 

godsgirl26
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree with your friend. Marriage you cant walk away from because you have to go thr hell and back if you decide you want to.
Just being in a relationship you can go back and forth if you choose and you can just walk away w/o going thr a divorce etc. I don't think your friend is jealous at all lol.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Monsita
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:24 PM

There is no wrong or right doing here!!!

Some married people can have a truly solid relationship, and still end in a divorce....while other married people face challenges their whole marriage life,  and still manage to stay together in love.

Some not married people can have a truly solid relationship, and last a life time together, while others simply can not......

As for the part of walking away: which one is easier; in the emotional part, it will be hard on both situations, married or not. The trouble part can be dealing with the law...in both cases, even if you are not married, once not together you have to deal with child support etc.hugs

Luv.My.Kidz
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:28 PM
2 moms liked this

I get where you're coming from. However... you and your SO can walk away with no issues other than SO paying Child Support.

Your friend and her husband can walk away with a divorce, more debt, child support owed, spousal support, etc.

In my opinion marriage isn't a choice. If you're going to be "lifelong" committed... get married. 

And I don't think your friend is jealous the slightest. 

LyTe684
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:30 PM
I think that some people talk just to hear themselves talk.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
godsgirl26
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:52 PM
Let me ask you a?

Why would your friend be jealous I'm not getting why she would be jealous of your relationship lol.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Ajanee12
by New Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:03 AM

All of our things are in both of our names? How could I just walk away from that debt? lol  Why does a paper from the governement make my relationship valid? It makes no sense. 

 I dont think she is jealous, she just makes it seem like my relationship doesnt count.  This is her 3rd marriage too.

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

I get where you're coming from. However... you and your SO can walk away with no issues other than SO paying Child Support.

Your friend and her husband can walk away with a divorce, more debt, child support owed, spousal support, etc.

In my opinion marriage isn't a choice. If you're going to be "lifelong" committed... get married. 

And I don't think your friend is jealous the slightest. 


Ajanee12
by New Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:05 AM

This is her third marriage, she has walked away and paid nothing from the other 2 marriages. I dont think she is jealous at all, I just dont understand why she thinks her is more than mine Kwim? How on earth can I just walk away?  We own a home together, have credit cards together, bank accounts together.. basicallly the only thing missing is the same name ( which some married couples choose not to do) so one thing is a paper from the government.

Quoting godsgirl26:

I agree with your friend. Marriage you cant walk away from because you have to go thr hell and back if you decide you want to.
Just being in a relationship you can go back and forth if you choose and you can just walk away w/o going thr a divorce etc. I don't think your friend is jealous at all lol.


Ajanee12
by New Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:05 AM

I never said she was jealous, where are you reading that?

Quoting godsgirl26:

Let me ask you a?

Why would your friend be jealous I'm not getting why she would be jealous of your relationship lol.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)