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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Moving forward.....How do I do it?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:27 PM
  • 7 Replies

 Hello Moms!! I was just looking for a little advice here......I was with my sons father for 5 years. We had a terrible relationship, the whole on again off again cycle, fighting, lies, the whole 9....We finally decided to split up for good last November. Since then we are both in very serious relationships with other people. We get along now, take care of our son and there are no problems. HOWEVER I cant get the guilty feeling to go away. I feel like ive let my son down because I couldnt make the relationship work. He loves myself and his father very much, but just cant seem to understand why we are not together. All I ever wanted was for our little family to work, regardless of how miserable it made me. How do I let that dream go and finally move on?

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:27 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Mommy12612
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 6:57 AM
2 moms liked this

Hi... Essentially you did what was best for your family... If you were to stay with your sons father regardless how miserable it made you... it would probably have caused more problems for your son... there is nothing good about an atmosphere where you can cut the tension with a knife... Kids pick up on these things... you did the best for you and for your son... you have nothing to be guilty about.

 

PrincessButton
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 7:08 AM
2 moms liked this

This but it's easier said than done! My DS is 5 and starting to wonder why daddy and I aren't friends. DS loves my now SO like a father but isn't sure why I can't kiss them both lol. But Ik that DS has a beautiful life here with SO and I, where he is learning the right way to treat a woman and what true love really is, he may not realize it now but when he is older I hope he appreciates the fact that I gave him a happy healthy home rather than the train wreck that was the ex and I.


Quoting Mommy12612:

Hi... Essentially you did what was best for your family... If you were to stay with your sons father regardless how miserable it made you... it would probably have caused more problems for your son... there is nothing good about an atmosphere where you can cut the tension with a knife... Kids pick up on these things... you did the best for you and for your son... you have nothing to be guilty about.




mrsallen3912
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 I agree!

Quoting Mommy12612:

Hi... Essentially you did what was best for your family... If you were to stay with your sons father regardless how miserable it made you... it would probably have caused more problems for your son... there is nothing good about an atmosphere where you can cut the tension with a knife... Kids pick up on these things... you did the best for you and for your son... you have nothing to be guilty about.

 

 

finlyhappy65
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 11:43 AM
2 moms liked this

Two happy parents working together for their child even if they live apart is a lot better than two miserable parents trying to do it together  I'm sorry you are feeling guilty, you are doing your best and that is all we can do as parents and as human beings.  Hang in there!

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 11:58 AM

 It takes time

kaitybird
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 3:51 PM

You just let your son know that you and daddy couldn't work together and that we love you enough to be friends and dow hat is best for you.  The guilt will get less as time goes on.  As long as you and he can work together in the best interest of the little boy you both created then you are doing good.  In time your son will understand.  :)

DarlaHood
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:57 PM
1 mom liked this

The way you're feeling is very common.  It's understandable for your ds, who loves his mom and dad, to want you to be together.  But you and his dad already know that it's not what is best.  He is young, and he doesn't understand the complexities of adult relationships.  For him it is an innocent and simple wish.  But you know that it is not what is in your ds's best interests because growing up in a home with unhappy parents, fighting, tension, and unhappiness changes kids.  Better to grow up happy and seeing healthy relationships modeled. 

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