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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What would YOU have done?

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 7:53 AM
  • 79 Replies
1 mom liked this

Okay, so my husband and I were married last April.  We just had a courthouse thing.  My parents are throwing us a reception/party this April to celebrate.  We are having about 120 people to their house and having a big party.  Of these guests, about 40 of them are my husband's extended family that are coming in from all over the country.

My husband's parents decided they wanted to throw a dinner the night before the party for family.  All together it would be about 50 guests.  They chose a restaurant and everything.  We thought it was really nice and that was that.

Yesterday, my MIL emailed my husband and said "I know Megan's been really tired lately (I'm pregnant and I get EXHAUSTED during my pregnancies), and we thought that maybe we would have that dinner at your house so she wouldn't have to be out late."

Umm, Pardon?  So I told my husband no way in Hell.  I'm not hosting a dinner for 50 people the day before my reception.  I'm not cooking, I'm not cleaning it up. It's not happening.  I thought it was ridiculously rude to even suggest this idea since they OFFERED to throw a dinner to celebrate OUR marriage.  Anyway, my husband doesn't think it was rude of them to suggest.

 I'm not looking for advice, I already gave my answer and I'm not swaying (lol).  I was just wondering, if YOU were put in this situation, how would you have reacted??? My mom said she would have been pissed, but she would have allowed them to have the dinner at the house.  Apparently I'm a bigger bitch than her lol.


So, what would you have done??

by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 7:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nsparky1964
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 7:59 AM
5 moms liked this
I'm with ya, I'm not even preggo and I wouldn't want that mess!
Megan11587
by Megan on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:01 AM
2 moms liked this

Right? She's worried about me being tired so she thinks this is the answer??  Honestly, I think they just figured out how much it would cost them and don't want to do it anymore, but they already invited everyone.

Quoting nsparky1964:

I'm with ya, I'm not even preggo and I wouldn't want that mess!


98765
by Silver Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:01 AM

Wow, I'd be pretty pissed! No way would I want that! Going out is a million times better!

Crazylife1994
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:02 AM
1 mom liked this

I think she had the best intentions but didn't word it properly. 

She should have said something along these lines. 

  " Being that she is getting so tired now. Would it be easier to have the dinner at your house instead of at a resturant? I can bring in a catering company and they will take care of everything including clean up.."


That would have gone over better. However I would have responded the same way. 

JC2223
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:03 AM

 What was the rest of her plan? Were they cooking and bringing it over, having it catered? I wouldn't be too happy about someone offering one thing and then changing it, especially if the change was inviting a large amount of people of over my house. If they were willing to do all the work, just changing the venue, I would probably be okay with it. There is plenty of time to prepare for it. If they weren't willing to do all the work in my home to host the dinner, then I would have just said never mind and just see everyone at the reception the next day. I would have been annoyed, but not pissed about it.

ElysMommy4.1.10
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:04 AM
I wouldn't want to host it at my house either
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Megan11587
by Megan on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:04 AM

Her plan was to order pizza, so the setup and cleanup would have fallen on me. 

Quoting JC2223:

 What was the rest of her plan? Were they cooking and bringing it over, having it catered? I wouldn't be too happy about someone offering one thing and then changing it, especially if the change was inviting a large amount of people of over my house. If they were willing to do all the work, just changing the venue, I would probably be okay with it. There is plenty of time to prepare for it. If they weren't willing to do all the work in my home to host the dinner, then I would have just said never mind and just see everyone at the reception the next day. I would have been annoyed, but not pissed about it.


Armywifeholcomb
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:10 AM
That many people I probably would have felt the same way... But maybe suggest renting a place like at a park and doing it earlier? Theres some parks that have buildings not just outdoor pavilions, MIL had a family reunion in Dec and that's what they did. I would have just been honest and say that you want to enjoy the couple days and not worry about cleaning up a big mess. Or suggest earlier in the day at a restaraunt. Is there a reason MIL can't do it at her house?

Heck we had 30 for a combined Thanksgiving after DH got home from deployment and It was cramped! No Way could we have 50! Our house is too small!
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Megan11587
by Megan on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:12 AM

She lives in NC, we live in MD.  Our house is way too small for 50, too!  We had about 20 over earlier this month for my son's birthday and that was too many to fit comfortably.

Honestly, I don't care what they do. I really don't want to have to plan this on top of the reception.  SInce the reception is at my parent's house we have to do all of the setup there, as well.   I'm happy just to say 'We'll see everybody at the reception!" 

Quoting Armywifeholcomb:

That many people I probably would have felt the same way... But maybe suggest renting a place like at a park and doing it earlier? Theres some parks that have buildings not just outdoor pavilions, MIL had a family reunion in Dec and that's what they did. I would have just been honest and say that you want to enjoy the couple days and not worry about cleaning up a big mess. Or suggest earlier in the day at a restaraunt. Even say nobody has to stay too late and can leave when they're ready, especially SIL. Is there a reason MIL can't do it at her house?
Heck we had 30 for a combined Thanksgiving after DH got home from deployment and It was cramped! No Way could we have 50! Our house is too small!


frzmamaof4
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 8:14 AM


Quoting nsparky1964:

I'm with ya, I'm not even preggo and I wouldn't want that mess!
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