Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

how to accept this other baby

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:11 PM
  • 53 Replies
What can i do to help myself accept a baby that was concieved during me and my fiancees 2 month break up. I kinda had put it behind me bc i was in denile about it. I didnt think it would bother me as much but we have a 3 year old girl already and the baby is now one. And it just kinda bothers me when hes here knowing the fact i lost my little boy months before he had her pregnant. Now we have our own little boy on the way in the next few weeks i just want us to be happy but now i have to continue sharing my husband with another family for the rest of my life its just nerve wrecking and upseting that itll always be another woman and child in his life. So i feel will never be his first priorties i mean how can we. Not how i pictured my happy family.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:11 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
nsparky1964
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:22 PM
3 moms liked this
Let it go,,its an innocent child...
Did you expect him not to sleep with someone new? Yeah he was/is stupid, irresponsible..you have a choice, deal with it, accept it and move on, become a sm that the child loves, and your family lives in harmony...or, be a child yourself and hold a grudge....
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mamavaness
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:29 PM
2 moms liked this
Just remember the baby is innocent. I know this is hard but just try and love him as your own. I dont have stepchildren but i had the best step parents. Im actually closer to them than my real parents. But they loved me as their own and i think that if you gave that little baby a chance maybe you would really enjoy him :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MomToovey
by Marianne on Mar. 15, 2013 at 11:16 PM

 I agree that the baby is innocent and try not to hold it against him. That child deserves a mother and father just as much as your children do. I'm not saying that you should just up and get over it, I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to deal with, but don't take it out on the child.

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

There is no reason why your husband can't make all the children his first priorities. You and him got back together, if you forgave him, it is time to but the negative behind you and look at this child as part of your husband. You can choose to look at the situation as beautiful (another child to love) or you can be negative and hold a grudge. If you take the second route, then anger and resentment will fester and can destroy your marriage.

july09baby
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this
I just think that was so selfish of him
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
KristenFowles
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:35 AM
Oh man... I don't know...



My DH and I split up for 3 months a few years ago.. And I still get upset as hell when thinking about the girl he was considering DATING.. I'm not sure I could move passed him having a child with someone else......



I do not think my slight immaturity is the correct response by any means though..



So I hope you are able to move past this comfortably if your df is who you want to spend your life with.. Because harboring ill feelings about the past isn't good for anyone.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:53 AM

If you were broken up at the time, exactly what was selfish of him?

If you are having doubts you need to tell him.

Quoting july09baby:

I just think that was so selfish of him


ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Mar. 16, 2013 at 1:00 AM
5 moms liked this
Hmmmm, well, I have to say that I would secretly hate that baby too. I know that isn't fair, but I would. Well, maybe not hate but absolutely resent. That's one of my deal breakers, in a roundabout sort of way. I know you say you were broken up, but if my husband and I were separated or he cheated on me and it produced a baby, that would be it for me. That other woman could have him.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
july09baby
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 1:02 AM
1 mom liked this
BC I had just lost a baby and why I'm sitting here mourning over the death of my little boy he was out there banging another chick a week later how could u love someone and go and do something like that u can't sit here and say u love someone and do something like that.... then come back and lie and say u want to be with me and how u didn't sleep with anyone... .then weeks later here she comes calling
..so yeah that is real selfish to me
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Mar. 16, 2013 at 1:57 AM

I am sorry for the loss of your baby. May I ask, why did you take him back after the woman showed up pregnant with his kid?

Quoting july09baby:

BC I had just lost a baby and why I'm sitting here mourning over the death of my little boy he was out there banging another chick a week later how could u love someone and go and do something like that u can't sit here and say u love someone and do something like that.... then come back and lie and say u want to be with me and how u didn't sleep with anyone... .then weeks later here she comes calling
..so yeah that is real selfish to me


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)