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I dont trust my husband anymore...& we just got married

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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Well the reason I dont trust my husband is because he got these apps where he could talk to woman & they send him dirty pics & messages. I found this on his phone & where several of them where texting him,but he told them he had a different name and race. We just got married in February & we are expecting our first child in July. We are in our early 20s and still in college. When i found this my whole world shattered & I stayed in the shower crying curled in a ball asking God why. How could he do this to me..hes a wonderful husband & hes loves our lil girl so much. I couldnt have ask for anything better. He found me crying in the shower & I couldnt look at him. I finally broke down & told him. He started to cry & say he was sorry. He told me the reason he did all that because he feltlonely since I started keeping to my self after we found out there was a good chance we could loose our daughter with my pregnancy,i lost my job because I was pregnant, & we are still struggling to make ends meet since we are only on one income,etc. It was just one stress after another. He admitied we needed to get back to church for the sake of our family & his faith wasnt strong any more. We are talking about finding a church & doing marriage counselling because he didnt want to loose me. I am struggling to forgive him & I love him dearly but its hard to even kiss him. How do you learn to trust again & feel ok to be near him. I dont want a rocky marriage or to even loose him..

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:10 PM

I'm sorry that you are going through this..its hard. i suggest counseling for the two of you, or for you at least.  take it day by day. (((((hugs)))))

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:40 PM
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You can get through this.  You are both very young and facing a lot of grown up responsibilities.  Counseling has definitely helped us in the past and I recommend it to couples BEFORE marriage, as well.  If it would help, maybe the both of you can "swear off" social media (apps and all) until this blows over.  Also, keep the lines ofcommunication open and really consider your words before you speak.  Remember first to try to understand, then try to be understood, and refrain from saying always and never.  You want to talk, not argue. Best of luck.

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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:51 AM
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You're on your way to recovering if you let yourself. Admitting and communicating are half the battle right there.

Bring your faith back into your will bind you closer together.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:39 AM
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So he did this because he was lonely? Why couldn't he talk to you about how he was feeling instead?
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Trust in a marriage is essential & one of the most important things. I recommend counseling asap. Another important factor is communication especially when going throught rough times.
Best wishes!!
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by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:20 PM

sorry IMO if he is already (or still) doing this kind of thing this early then I would leave him.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:57 PM

Couseling and you really both need to learn how to communicate with each. It is possible to make it through this but it will take time. He shouldn't hide passwords or his phone from you either. Good Luck.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:14 PM


by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:16 PM

You just got married last month, and he's already doing this?  I'm so sorry hun.  He really should be ashamed of himself.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:26 PM
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Did he actually have physical contact with any other women? Crossing that line is a whole different story. The Internet has made it too easy for men to get in situations they normally never would have before. It might have started with him looking at naked pics then they contacted him then it just snowballed. Guys are going to be guys but it's up to the women to let him know what you will tolerate and what you won't. Tell him if he feels he needs to " hide" anything it's probably not a good thing for your marriage. He might need to restrict his Internet access for awhile then change his email and delete the apps because his behavior can be addictive. Your both so young and have a family. You love him and it sounds like he loves you and is sorry. Go to marriage counseling and make your deal breakers known to him. He steps over the line again then you will know he has an addiction, he's not an honest guy or he's just a cheater and you can decide then if you need to walk. Sex and the forbidden draws men like crazy, always has and always will. They are made that way. It's not your fault he acted like this but it would not hurt any of us to spice up our sex life either. Go work on your marriage, the trust will come back slowly.
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