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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

how much to tell him? - Update

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:59 PM
  • 37 Replies

Ok...so my SO and I have been together almost two years. Let me start out by saying that we don't keep secrets from each other or anything like that and that's not what this is about.

Within the last two weeks, I found a lump in my breast. I'm not overly concerned about it because I know that it likely is nothing but I am going to get it checked out just to be safe. My question is when would you all tell your SO? If we were married I would've already told him but we aren't and I don't want him to worry about it. Would you go to the doctor and get answers first then tell him with certainty what it is/was our would you tell him before you go?

On one hand I want to tell him now just so he doesn't feel like I kept it from him. But on the other hand I'd rather wait until I can tell him it's nothing and that I just thought he should know. And on the off chance that it is something I would at least know enough to be able to give him good information.

Please no bashing...this isn't about us not being able to communicate, etc. We have no relationship problems or anything like that...just don't know what is the right thing on this one.

UPDATE:

I called my OB today and they actually got me in right away this morning.  Most likely it's nothing like I thought but they are ordering an ultrasound just to be on the safe side.

I did tell my SO this morning that I was going to the doctor and told him why when he asked.  He told me he hoped it was nothing like I said.  I explained that I wasn't telling my mom and he told me she would worry.  So I explained that that's why I hadn't told anyone.  He doesn't seem upset with me and is glad that it doesn't seem to be anything bad. 

Thanks for all the well wishes and advice!

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AussieArcana
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:02 AM
3 moms liked this

Tell him when you feel comfortable.

Zazayam
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this

I would tell him if for no other reason then support.

mommylizTB2809
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this

yes I would tell my husband. but he is an EMT. but thats me good luck :)

GagaNTattooS
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Nope there is no need for both of us to worry
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beaugrl0824
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:07 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't tell him but that's just me.
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Lorena
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I had this just after my first kid at 17. I told him right away. I needed support but I also wated him to know what I wanted for our son just incase. I gusse more for my piece of mind.
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Zazayam
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Ok I already answered once but then I thought about it more.

Reverse the situation, if he was a little worried about some health issue, would you want him to tell you? If you say yes then you should tell him, if you wouldn't want him to, then don't.

Good luck, either way :)

aimhawk
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:17 AM
1 mom liked this

I would have told him as soon as I found it.

sissyboogs
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:19 AM

I would tell him...for two reasons. 

1--I'd want the emotional support. 

2--I'd be upset if the situation were reversed and he didn't tell me. 

But, it's really a personal decision, and you have to decide what you think is best. 

Good luck, and I hope it's nothing serious. 

jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks ladies. Yes...if the situation were reversed I'd definitely want him to tell me. I guess I just wasn't thinking...I haven't told anyone yet.
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