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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My downfall-planing ahead

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:43 PM
  • 19 Replies

 So my son will be 1 years old in June. My husband and I both agreed that we wanted our children to be 2-3 years apart so they can be some what in eachothers lives. My brother and I are 2 years apart and are semi close, my husband and his brother are 5 almost 6 years apart and couldnt be further apart than if they were strangers. So anyway I had asked my husband if he thought we should start trying when our son was a year and eight months so we could achive our goal and he turned white as a sheet!! I asked him what was wrong and he said he couldnt handle another one. (Our son is teething, and has oui cranky!! He has 2 teeth right now at 9 months but I think he is breaking in another) I told him that I didnt mean right now but when he was almost 2 and he was still very sure about not wanting another.  I am trying to be understaning of his fears but I cant help but think and feel that he will only want one child. :/ Someone please help me be rational

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lapcounter
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:58 PM

Our girl's are 18 months apart. It was awesome because we were done with teething, diapers, etc all at once. LOL sorry I cannot help you :)

Livin.the.Dream
by New Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:09 PM

Mine are 2 years 5 months apart. That was a perfect gap i think. One was done with diapers and the other was born lol. They are very close to each other now that they are 6 and 4.

JRSMOM0621
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:25 PM

 lol its okay. It sounds cool that you were able to bang it all out at once!

Quoting lapcounter:

Our girl's are 18 months apart. It was awesome because we were done with teething, diapers, etc all at once. LOL sorry I cannot help you :)

 

JRSMOM0621
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:26 PM

 That sounds like a good time frame apart.

Quoting Livin.the.Dream:

Mine are 2 years 5 months apart. That was a perfect gap i think. One was done with diapers and the other was born lol. They are very close to each other now that they are 6 and 4.

 

boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:31 PM
We're trying for 2.5 years apart so dd can be potty trained before we have the next one. We talked about it, we're in agreement that we will try in the fall, maybe sooner if I can build my business a little quicker so we'll have more income coming in. I'm sorry you're having this issue, but try to give him a little more time.of course its ideal to get the age gap you want but having another child when your spouse isn't sure, won't end well for anyone. Dh was going back and forth about having another but we recently started making plans to ttc again good luck I hope he comes around.
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JRSMOM0621
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:12 PM

 Yeah it hurts and made me a bit depressed but I understand. I am trying to keep my mouth shut so me being depressed doesnt influance him into wanting another child to please me.

Quoting boshs1andonly:

We're trying for 2.5 years apart so dd can be potty trained before we have the next one. We talked about it, we're in agreement that we will try in the fall, maybe sooner if I can build my business a little quicker so we'll have more income coming in. I'm sorry you're having this issue, but try to give him a little more time.of course its ideal to get the age gap you want but having another child when your spouse isn't sure, won't end well for anyone. Dh was going back and forth about having another but we recently started making plans to ttc again good luck I hope he comes around.

 

boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:27 PM
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trust me I know where you're coming from. at one point he told me he wasn't sure if he ever wanted kids and I had to make the decision whether or not he could live with that. dd was actually unplanned, but he's a doting father, he just needed to get used to the idea. you should talk to him about how you're feeling, you're entitled to have those feelings. but you're absolutely right that you need to be careful that he doesn't have a baby just to make you happy, even if he means well that's not how you'd want your next one to come about. hugs

Quoting JRSMOM0621:

 Yeah it hurts and made me a bit depressed but I understand. I am trying to keep my mouth shut so me being depressed doesnt influance him into wanting another child to please me.

Quoting boshs1andonly:

We're trying for 2.5 years apart so dd can be potty trained before we have the next one. We talked about it, we're in agreement that we will try in the fall, maybe sooner if I can build my business a little quicker so we'll have more income coming in. I'm sorry you're having this issue, but try to give him a little more time.of course its ideal to get the age gap you want but having another child when your spouse isn't sure, won't end well for anyone. Dh was going back and forth about having another but we recently started making plans to ttc again good luck I hope he comes around.

 


furbabymum
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:31 PM

 First off just because they are close in age DOES NOT mean they will be close. My younger sisters are twins and they aren't close to each other at all. I'm 2 years away from my brother and I'm not close to him. It's more personality than timing imo.

Also, I don't blame your DH. Just wait until your child is 2 and telling you to go away all the time. That'll put you off wanting to have more! lol

Anyway, this is a nonissue atm. You have a year to work toward being ready for another. Let it rest.

sprinkles9112
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:32 PM

Give it a little more time. Get past this teething stage and bring it up again. Remind him of the original plans and how that's sort of what you two had planned all along. 

My brother and I are 2 years and 9 months apart. That's pretty much my plan. Start for #2 when #1 is nearing 2. 

JRSMOM0621
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 7:05 PM

 Oh yeah that I know. It'd be nice going through school with siblings. I had my brother to watch over me and go to & from school with.

I'm not really blaming I dont think, I was more along the line of expressing my depression. Thank you however for the advice on letting it rest until he is past this crazy stage.

Quoting furbabymum:

 First off just because they are close in age DOES NOT mean they will be close. My younger sisters are twins and they aren't close to each other at all. I'm 2 years away from my brother and I'm not close to him. It's more personality than timing imo.

Also, I don't blame your DH. Just wait until your child is 2 and telling you to go away all the time. That'll put you off wanting to have more! lol

Anyway, this is a nonissue atm. You have a year to work toward being ready for another. Let it rest.

 

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