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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Would you be upset if your husband has a 20 year old girl as a best friend?

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:36 PM
  • 93 Replies
I've had enough and I don't know what to do....My husband has this 20 year old female friend that he used to text back and forth 5000-6000 texts a month until I confronted him about and we fought for months over. She was a coworker, one of those drama queen people who always has problems and issues that she goes to him over which is fine until it disrupts our time together. When your watching tv together in the evening and all you see him do is pay attention to his phone. The moment I say something its an instant argument. So he tells me he don't text her amymore, then I find out he is using facebook chat to communicate. Then I see posts about him being her best friend and he will always be her shoulder to cry on etc. and he doesn't think I should be upset over it. He is 59 years old and doesn't think I should be upset over him wanting to be such good friends with someone that young and female. He thinks just because she has been over our house and I know her its ok. I thought when she got fired from their work I would finally be done with all this but because she is so drama filled it has gotten worse. Imagine he goes out to order a cake for her birthday decorated with what he knows she is into and buys a present, he has her come to our house to celebrate her 20th and Im thinking to myself, I haven't had a cake for my birthday in God knows when...nor a present, and he goes all out for her. Am I being unreasonable to tell him I can't take it anymore and Im done with this crap?? That what I told him last night after I seen his post to her on facebook and of course instant argument and he has not talked to me since yesterday....I need advise how can I stop this before it destroys our 15 year marriage??
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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
butterbabie
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:40 PM
4 moms liked this
He's attracted to her. He's probably in awe that such a young woman pays him so much attention. 500 texts, a birthday cake? He's wrong and that's unhealthy.
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butterbabie
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh. Excuse me....5000 texts.
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SoKamele
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:42 PM
3 moms liked this

It needs to stop....like yesterday.

Quoting butterbabie:

He's attracted to her. He's probably in awe that such a young woman pays him so much attention. 500 texts, a birthday cake? He's wrong and that's unhealthy.


chaslee
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:45 PM

I would be upset about the amount of texting, the fact that it is taking away from MY time and yeah, the cake and present would bother me as well, if he wasn't doing that for me... I have no advise, since every time you bring it up it turns into an argument.  I am sorry. 

boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:45 PM
7 moms liked this
The age isn't the issue but if be upset at him investing that kind of energy on anything that isn't work or family related. Honestly I'm not sure what you can do, if he doesn't see what he's doing as wrong, he's not likely to stop.
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MrsImperfect
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:48 PM
Yeah I would be pissed at the whole situation. No my husband doesnt need to text some girl that many times. Thats constant talking. Literally back and forth every min or more. About what actually? I did that when I started dating someone. So hell no. Thats a relationship. No time for you or work or family. She is constantly on his mind at that point. She probably wants him so be careful cause he cant seem to say no.
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melinda27819
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:49 PM
Yessssss 5000+ texts and I found out by paying attention to the phone bill one day. We still have a healthy sex life, that has never been an issue. He tells me she looks up to him like a father (her father died suddenly when she was 18) My thing is Im a daddys girl and I don't text my dad like that. I understand he maybe just trying to be there for her when she feels she has noone, but at the expense of our marriage?? Im just soooo frustrated I don't know what to do. Im not heartless but Im not willing to put anyone before my husband like he is doing to me!! :(
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melinda27819
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:51 PM
He says he deletes all his texts so I have no idea what they talk about
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mrsfitz05
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:56 PM
2 moms liked this

 Yes, I would be upset. It would be possible with that kind of gap to develop a "parental" type feeling for someone, but 5000 texts a month and during your family time? Calling each other "best friend" ?No. That has gone somewhere else.

Proud-mama-05
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:02 PM
2 moms liked this

yeah in no way is that even remotely ok. you are NOT wrong and your dh is being an ass.

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