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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Divorced Gals: How Did You Know You Were Done?

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:04 PM
  • 61 Replies

Just curious. Was there a moment like in Eat Pray Love where you just started crying and snapped? Was it a long drawn out process? Did you have an epiphany, or did you know for months or years?

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
la_bella_vita
by Bella on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:35 PM
Bump, curious to know as well
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Zazayam
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Long drawn out process. The straw that broke me was finding out he'd been sleeping with my cousin.

I said that if your marriage could be featured on Jerry Springer it was a clear enough sign to call it quits.

MomRocs1102
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:38 AM

Oh my yea that's pretty trifling of him and your cousin, do you still deal with cousin or did you cut them both.

Quoting Zazayam:

Long drawn out process. The straw that broke me was finding out he'd been sleeping with my cousin.

I said that if your marriage could be featured on Jerry Springer it was a clear enough sign to call it quits.


Zazayam
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:41 AM
3 moms liked this

Oh no, she's gone too. I don't have time in my life for people like that, not worth it.

Quoting MomRocs1102:

Oh my yea that's pretty trifling of him and your cousin, do you still deal with cousin or did you cut them both.

Quoting Zazayam:

Long drawn out process. The straw that broke me was finding out he'd been sleeping with my cousin.

I said that if your marriage could be featured on Jerry Springer it was a clear enough sign to call it quits.



oliver92
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:44 AM

My ex was a jerk, a cheater, and just a negative selfish person, until today I would have said he has changed or matured over the years.  But he literally called me when our son was barely over 1 and we had just bought our first home, (ie things going great on home front) and he was out of town and said you know this whole marriage, baby thing isnt really working for me.... that was pretty much it, went to therapy he wouldnt show up, etc... I just was like really my son and I deserve better, we still didnt divorce until my son was almost 3. I think you can put up with a lot trying to make it work or wanting to believe it can get better, but it usually dosent, and it was much better for us to be away from him and on our own surrounded by a loving family

atm1979
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:46 AM
When he came home trashed for the umpteenth time this time breaking Shit and getting in dd4 face screaming at her like a grown man
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friendlymom48
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:50 AM
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I was married for 10 years and around year #5 I started to realize that I had no hope, no dreams. We were like roommates and I felt like all I was good for was a paycheck and credit score. I left when my thoughts were consumed with suicide. I am in a much better place now. Happy. Healthy and married to a wonderful man ...the love of my life.
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momma2zac2006
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:55 AM
i wasn't happy but tried hard to make it work. what finally made my decision is his ds bm got the kid taken and put in foster care. during a background check it was found out he had done some stuff to his step sister in his past and the records were sealed and i knew nothing about it. anyway cps threatened to take my kid if i didn't leave while he got help. while packing up my stuff that night he threw me to the bed started choking me my friends bf pulled him off me. needless to say help or not i was done. left and got my divorce. he didn't even show up in court.
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jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:07 AM
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It was a process with an epiphany for me. My ex had a girlfriend, but I wasn't working to just throw away 15 years. My dad was dying and the whole time I was busy talking care of my dad he was using the time to be with her but lying to me about it. This was after he had admitted to the affair but said he wanted us to work it ou.

The day my dad died was somewhat unexpected. He had renal cancer that had metastasized to his lung. He was in the hospital for pneumonia but was supposed to get out that day. Instead, he had a pulmonary embolism and was intubated. I had to sign the forms to take my 59 year old dad off life support. My ex didn't even show up at the hospital. It took 8 hours before dad's body gave up and I sat there and watched him die completely by myself. I am a very independent person but at 3am when I was driving home after the most difficult thing I'd ever had to do, the epiphany hit me. If my husband couldn't even be there for me when I needed him more than I ever had then why did I want to forgive him having an affair? Why should I allow him to continue to disrespect me like that?

My ex was self employed at the time and ran our retail business. I found out a couple of weeks after the funeral that he had his girlfriend work in our store so he could go to the funeral. That was it for me. I was done. That was in June and I still didn't file for divorce until October but I made him move out. The divorce was finalized the next May.

Sometimes I wonder if dad hadn't died or been sick if we would've worked it out. But even if we had I think we eventually would've divorced anyway because I don't think he would've ever stopped seeing her or lying to me.
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AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:08 AM
Bump!😕
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