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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

New here & needing help ladies

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:52 AM
  • 64 Replies
Hi, so im not just new here; im new to social networking so pls forgive any faux pas!
Anywho where to start?!? Can i just say that my husband of 8yrs (been together 13yrs) is making me miserable?! I try so hard but its never enough to please him.
Lemme put out the biggest thing on my mind right now- the other night (only 1 all wk he didnt have to get up for wrk early), he starts ths ridiculous argument with me bout sum old friend of his who i dont even remember- well im playin it cool but he decides hes "too good for my whorin slut ass" etc & leaves at 10p.m. & doesnt get home til after 2a.m. he admitted he was at a bar but idk what (or who) he did & im not allowed to get angry or anything...but if i were the one who had done it, id def have a shiner! How can i bring up how upset i am now after a few days hav gone by?!
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by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:38 AM
1 mom liked this

tell him you are having a girls night this weekend.

chasing
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:44 AM
Mixedcooke,
Lol wish i could, now ur talkn! It doesnt work with double standard men tho & even if i go ahead & do it, im just gna panic all night bout whats waitin for me when i get home. im rly starting to wonder if ths whole relationships totally toxic


Quoting MixedCooke:

tell him you are having a girls night this weekend.


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MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:55 AM
7 moms liked this

 if he is abusive that alone is a good reason to divorce.  A shiner I know references a black eye and him raising a fist to you is an arrestable crime in just the threat alone.


Quoting chasing:

Mixedcooke,
Lol wish i could, now ur talkn! It doesnt work with double standard men tho & even if i go ahead & do it, im just gna panic all night bout whats waitin for me when i get home. im rly starting to wonder if ths whole relationships totally toxic


Quoting MixedCooke:

tell him you are having a girls night this weekend.



 

chasing
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:02 AM
I just am not sure how to define "abusive". Yea hes hit, punched, kicked, shoved me watevr but doesnt happen often. I know that sounds stupid but somehow i end up convinced i brought it on myslf & should feel lucky hes around at all


Quoting MixedCooke:

 if he is abusive that alone is a good reason to divorce.  A shiner I know references a black eye and him raising a fist to you is an arrestable crime in just the threat alone.




Quoting chasing:

Mixedcooke,
Lol wish i could, now ur talkn! It doesnt work with double standard men tho & even if i go ahead & do it, im just gna panic all night bout whats waitin for me when i get home. im rly starting to wonder if ths whole relationships totally toxic



Quoting MixedCooke:


tell him you are having a girls night this weekend.





 


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gigis1
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Woah woah woah.. no woman deserves to be with someone who calls them a "whoring slut ass" and no. Why on earth are you with him ? Honestly, you seem miserable, I wouldnt blame you if you left running with your kids. That's not normal in a healthy relationship, don't accept that bs
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MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:08 AM
1 mom liked this

 You allowing him to hit you is why he continues to do it.


Quoting chasing:

I just am not sure how to define "abusive". Yea hes hit, punched, kicked, shoved me watevr but doesnt happen often. I know that sounds stupid but somehow i end up convinced i brought it on myslf & should feel lucky hes around at all


Quoting MixedCooke:

 if he is abusive that alone is a good reason to divorce.  A shiner I know references a black eye and him raising a fist to you is an arrestable crime in just the threat alone.


 


Quoting chasing:

Mixedcooke,
Lol wish i could, now ur talkn! It doesnt work with double standard men tho & even if i go ahead & do it, im just gna panic all night bout whats waitin for me when i get home. im rly starting to wonder if ths whole relationships totally toxic



Quoting MixedCooke:


tell him you are having a girls night this weekend.



 


 



 

chasing
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:15 AM
I know & would say the same thing to any othr girl in my place so i dnt have a good answer to y stay. I think its just been so long it seems normal & the way he goes about it makes me think its true & like im lucky to even have him or something. plus after building a life together its a daunting idea to just tear it down


Quoting gigis1:

Woah woah woah.. no woman deserves to be with someone who calls them a "whoring slut ass" and no. Why on earth are you with him ? Honestly, you seem miserable, I wouldnt blame you if you left running with your kids. That's not normal in a healthy relationship, don't accept that bs

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gigis1
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:20 AM
1 mom liked this
But you could be SO happy. You KNOW you're miserable, you know it isn't normal. Do you let your kids see him treat you like this ? Think of the example you are setting. Don't let yourself get walked all over. If you can afford it, try marriage counseling at least. Just dont continue to let him treat you like that. It's not fair to you

Quoting chasing:

I know & would say the same thing to any othr girl in my place so i dnt have a good answer to y stay. I think its just been so long it seems normal & the way he goes about it makes me think its true & like im lucky to even have him or something. plus after building a life together its a daunting idea to just tear it down




Quoting gigis1:

Woah woah woah.. no woman deserves to be with someone who calls them a "whoring slut ass" and no. Why on earth are you with him ? Honestly, you seem miserable, I wouldnt blame you if you left running with your kids. That's not normal in a healthy relationship, don't accept that bs

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chasing
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:21 AM
Mixedcooke, just to put it out there, in the past i have told him i wouldnt tolerate it again & that id be out the door if it hapoened again. so much time passed before he did it again tho & it was like we had nevr had that talk. i kno i sound like a loser but hes so manipulative idk my left from right sometimes!
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chasing
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:32 AM
Gigisl,
i kno u r so right & what all this could be doin to the kids is my biggest worry. they are afraid of him but when i tell hm this he says "no they respect me". the oldest is frm my 1st marriage +hs fathrs deceased & the 2 babies are my sisters, i got custody of them. Hubby makes no secret of the fact he doesnt want them around. but what ti do or where to begin is overwhwlming!


Quoting gigis1:

But you could be SO happy. You KNOW you're miserable, you know it isn't normal. Do you let your kids see him treat you like this ? Think of the example you are setting. Don't let yourself get walked all over. If you can afford it, try marriage counseling at least. Just dont continue to let him treat you like that. It's not fair to you



Quoting chasing:

I know & would say the same thing to any othr girl in my place so i dnt have a good answer to y stay. I think its just been so long it seems normal & the way he goes about it makes me think its true & like im lucky to even have him or something. plus after building a life together its a daunting idea to just tear it down






Quoting gigis1:

Woah woah woah.. no woman deserves to be with someone who calls them a "whoring slut ass" and no. Why on earth are you with him ? Honestly, you seem miserable, I wouldnt blame you if you left running with your kids. That's not normal in a healthy relationship, don't accept that bs


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