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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Any military wives out there...Help please!

I don't know where to even begin with this but here goes

I have been married to DH for 6 years now and have 2 kids ages 5 and 2. DH has never been deployed before and now has his first set of order to deploy in September. He has heard all the stories about wifes taking all the money and running and has decided to make his grandmother POA while he is away. This was a decision that I had no so in it was told to me this is what is happening and thats it. He also recently told me he was looking into getting my name off the account since my paycheck goes to a sepreate account (this was due to past issues I had with him spening and giving money away without talking to me first). I'm confused on how this works since we have USAA and everything is coneccted to this account and all vehicles are in his name so we didnt have to pay property taxes since he's an NY resident. Does any one know anything that could help?



Thanks in advance

busy momThey are my world!!!

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Replies (21-27):
KyronsMommy777
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:08 PM
"What was his reply?!"
He says he's not saying i will, but it could happen.

"when he gets back from deployment, does he plan on putting everything back the way it is now and pretend he never did this?"
I'm sure that's what he is planning except for the bank account stuff. Because he figures I have my account so he needs his own.

It doesn't make any sense to me. A lot of the time I have to remind him what gets paid when and how much. I have never let a bill fall behind I think I forgot to pay the cell bill once but it was just once and they didn't even charge a late fee or anything because it had been like 4 years without a single late payment it was just a crazy time and it slipped my mind.

I think I will call the Chaplin first now that I have calmed down a little. I guess I'll see how that goes.

Thanks for all the advice

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MamaScho88
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:18 PM

 I'm not really sure what to say here...your husband should trust you! My husband was deployed after we had only been together for a year, he was my fiance at the time and I got pregnant with our son right b4 he left...his deployment was a little bit longer than my pregnancy...he added my name to his bank account and made me his POA b4 he left. I handled all of his bills and everthing while he was gone and we weren't even married yet. The only money I spent during his deployment was for the roof over our heads and the food on our table because I had a miscarriage right b4 our son was concieved and my pregnancy was high risk so I couldn't work...he still has alot of his money saved that he made overseas and he has been home from his deployment for almost 2 years now...Idk how to help you...I'm just shaking my head that he doesnt trust his own wife :(

mrsbrand
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this
After 6 years and two kids you're obviously no gold-digging tag chaser! He needs to pull his head out of his 4th point of of contact and make sure your guys bills can be paid while he is in the box! With USAA that means you need poa or that grown ass man needs to have momma handle his bills while he has a perfectly good wife who would hold the fort down if given the chance. He's got some dick putting a bug in his ear and he needs to man up and trust His partner!

Sorry but some of that deployment bullshit that runs through formation pisses me right off.
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KyronsMommy777
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:46 PM

Well I just tried talking to him again and of course he shut down and didn't want to talk. But he did say he was still going to give the POA to grandma and would not even consider talking to a marriagecounselor (which I expected) and he also said he is still going to change bank accounts. I told him he would have to pay child support and he said he was fine with that and when I asked him about just getting a divorce he seemed to just not care. Its weird because I usually get upset and cry and I think I'm just over being second. Right now all I can do is shake my head in disbelief over this whole situation. 

busy momThey are my world!!!

AStitt
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 5:20 AM
I'm so so sorry you're having to face all this at once, but you're right, you & the kids don't deserve to be second rate priorities! I'm thrilled you're going to talk to a chaplin, & I hope that they can bring you some peace, & help you find direction amiss all the insanity. Will keep you and your family in my prayers <3


Quoting KyronsMommy777:

Well I just tried talking to him again and of course he shut down and didn't want to talk. But he did say he was still going to give the POA to grandma and would not even consider talking to a marriagecounselor (which I expected) and he also said he is still going to change bank accounts. I told him he would have to pay child support and he said he was fine with that and when I asked him about just getting a divorce he seemed to just not care. Its weird because I usually get upset and cry and I think I'm just over being second. Right now all I can do is shake my head in disbelief over this whole situation. 


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KyronsMommy777
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 Thank you all for your advice. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this.

busy momThey are my world!!!

JennPearce
by Jenn! on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:38 PM
Quoting barrelracer1699:


yeah that's a bad idea, but my dh is a chief & his guys could always come to him in confidence if needed. I guess that's where I was going with that.
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