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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

what did you expect?

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:48 AM
  • 10 Replies
How much thought/weight did you place on your spouse's actions or words before getting married, having children? Do you think it was enough? Did you ever have a conversation about expectations (what you expected from him and him from you)? Do you talk now reevaluating your/his expectations?

"Religion is nothing more than a political party organized around some guy's moral views."

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:48 AM
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beeky
by Alexandra on Mar. 24, 2013 at 6:13 AM
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How much thought/weight did you place on your spouse's actions or words before getting married, having children?   Enough to know that I was making the right decision.

Do you think it was enough?  At the time, probably not, but after almost 25 years of marriage, it must of have been.

Did you ever have a conversation about expectations (what you expected from him and him from you)?  Yes.

Do you talk now reevaluating your/his expectations?   Yes.  Life is always changing and we have to adapt to those changes.

nicole2884
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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We talked about our values goals an what we wanted out of life. How many kids we wanted were we would love to live
In our first year of marriage we had to reevaluate our roles with our parents because they were pulling on us an we saw how it could have damaged our relationship
Once we moved in together we established expectations of house hold responsibility's


But before we even got serious i knew he was the one because like they say actions speak louder than words

Our love was never blind we were always ourselves none of those silly games that happen when you just start dating

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xoxRachelxox
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:01 AM
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We lived together before getting married. We knew what each others quirks and issues were before we decided to get married. 

We also talked a lot about kids and parenting. We talked about religion and politics. We pretty much talked about everything and have the same views on it. 

Raeann11
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:13 AM
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How much thought/weight did you place on your spouse's actions or words before getting married, having children? We talked about this a lot before we were even engaged. So it tells you how much I put thought/weight into it.

Do you think it was enough? Yes

Did you ever have a conversation about expectations (what you expected from him and him from you)? Yes, even before we were engaged.

Do you talk now reevaluating your/his expectations?  Yes all the time. We change as we get older and need to constantly talk and change as we grow together.

thenameshailie
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:51 PM
eh I got knocked up pretty early in our relationship. I hadn't planned on getting married or anything, I am not sure what my expectations were, but he has beyond surpassed them.
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MomToovey
by Marianne on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:45 PM

 Exactly this - only I've only been married for 6 years, so I guess there's still time to find out whether I was right or wrong (I was right, by the way :)

Quoting beeky:

How much thought/weight did you place on your spouse's actions or words before getting married, having children?   Enough to know that I was making the right decision.

Do you think it was enough?  At the time, probably not, but after almost 25 years of marriage, it must of have been.

Did you ever have a conversation about expectations (what you expected from him and him from you)?  Yes.

Do you talk now reevaluating your/his expectations?   Yes.  Life is always changing and we have to adapt to those changes.

 



MJP76
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 4:30 PM

Yes, we had multiple discussions about having and raising children. It was very important to me that we were on the same page BEFORE having children and making a life together.

lapcounter
by Gold Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this
By reading some post on CafeMom in general I am guessing a lot of women read this post and go huh, LOL.
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Iconoclast
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:41 PM
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Quoting lapcounter:

By reading some post on CafeMom in general I am guessing a lot of women read this post and go huh, LOL.



That is what I envisioned also. PP have noted how important discussion is to a long lasting relationship, i hope in that it will help others by reading. I understand venting but sometimes I wonder how a person can divulge their feelings/issues with strangers and never speak to the person they are most intimate with. ((Shrugs))

"Religion is nothing more than a political party organized around some guy's moral views."

alexsmomaubrys2
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:44 PM

We talked about everything before getting married. It was important to us to make sure we were on the same page. The only place we differed is DH wanted children and I wasn't sure that I did but he was willing to take his chances because he wanted me more.

We talk about the future all the time. =D

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