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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Why can't I travel without husband??

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:35 PM
  • 41 Replies
I am wondering if I'm being unreasonable or my husband is. Ok, we've been married 2.5 years and have a toddler. I have no family in my state. My closest relatives are my parents who live 4-5 hours away. Before I was married my friends and I would plan last minute road trips or, if cheap enough, fly somewhere just to get away for the weekend several times a year.

My husband hates to travel. He hates being stuck in the car for hours, he's afraid of flying (he took his first plane trip with me at age 32), he doesn't like driving in an unfamiliar place, he doesn't like to stay at hotels, he doesn't like being a guest at someone's house, and he's not into swimming, hiking, theme parks, water parks, etc and he doesn't like spending money on non tangible things. So basically he hates everything about a vacation.

I am fine to travel without him. He'll just be miserable, he'll wreck the trip for me, and I'd just as soon go alone. But he insists on coming! I am really upset because I want to take our daughter to stay with my parents for a week this summer. They live in a tourist town and there's lots to do. He'll just be bored and anyways, he can't take a whole week off work in the summer. He says no, because he doesn't want me to drive that far with our daughter alone. I said fine, my parents offered to meet me halfway and ride with me. No, halfway is still too far way (about 2 hours each way).

Also, I wanted to fly out to visit my parents (they are snowbirds) during the winter without him, and he insisted on coming. Of course, he whined about the impending flight the entire day and told his brother- who was taking us to the airport- that he wished he didn't have to go. He also started numerous fights with me that weekend and sat in kitchen playing angry birds on his phone and ignored all my relatives. The trip would have been way better if he just stayed home.

Why does he insist on coming along? All he does is complain and spoil it for everyone else.
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by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bmw29
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:37 PM
2 moms liked this

Tell him to STFU, you're going without him. What does it matter? He isn't going to be happy either way. 

shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:38 PM
I have no idea, but he's being an unreasonable whiny baby. I'm sorry :(
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sunflower37
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:43 PM

If he's going to complain about everything and do nothing he might as well stay at home.

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:44 PM
5 moms liked this
Don't let him come with you. It's very simple. You're going to fight either way, so pick the one that will actually let you have a good time with your kid and your family.
Amberleigh81
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:12 PM
I would go without him and turn off my phone... :)
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AussieReg
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:34 PM
4 moms liked this

This is something you should have talked about BEFORE you were married and had babies!! He wants to come because you are married and that is what families do!! He doesn't like doing it, that he may not be able to change but you need to talk to him and each needs to discuss the issues and problems like ADULTS!! You need to try to WORK IT OUT so that everyone is happy with the COMPROMISE. Any advise about just leaving and going alone and doing things like you were single and not in a committed relationship is advise that is surely designed to led to DIVORCE so for the love of Mike don't do that. Put yourself in his shoes, ask him to put himself in your shoes and then seriously try to work out a decent compromise that will make both of you at least able to deal with vacation and travel with eachother. You are married and have a child together and you need to work it out like a family!

Catcherryesux
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:45 PM
If he's going to come just to sit and pout and start fights with me, I really don't see how that's helping anyone. And what would you suggest for a compromise? He hates coming and I hate having him come. Seems by him staying home we'd both get what we want.
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tristahope
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:51 PM
Quoting AussieReg:

This is something you should have talked about BEFORE you were married and had babies!! He wants to come because you are married and that is what families do!! He doesn't like doing it, that he may not be able to change but you need to talk to him and each needs to discuss the issues and problems like ADULTS!! You need to try to WORK IT OUT so that everyone is happy with the COMPROMISE. Any advise about just leaving and going alone and doing things like you were single and not in a committed relationship is advise that is surely designed to led to DIVORCE so for the love of Mike don't do that. Put yourself in his shoes, ask him to put himself in your shoes and then seriously try to work out a decent compromise that will make both of you at least able to deal with vacation and travel with eachother. You are married and have a child together and you need to work it out like a family!


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tristahope
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Quoting Catcherryesux:

If he's going to come just to sit and pout and start fights with me, I really don't see how that's helping anyone. And what would you suggest for a compromise? He hates coming and I hate having him come. Seems by him staying home we'd both get what we want.



U need to tell ur husband exactly what u just told us about how he makes everyone on the trip miserable bc all he does is nag, complain, & fuss the entire time yall are on yalls trip and that if he goes there will be none of this or the next time he will not be welcome to come along. If he wants to go along as a family then he needs to be spending time with the entire family and at least acting happy about vacationing with his family. It is simple but u should tell him ur reasons and see what he has to say about it.

Good Luck Luv. Hope things work out for you.

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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:03 AM

I travel without my husband all of the time. We've (my daughter and I) taken 5 vacations in the last 3 years, and we've only taken my husband with us once.  That one time we took him was so miserable we said we'd never do it again. He made us so miserable that the "happiest place on earth" was a nightmare. 

If the other party hates to travel and won't be happy, you have to put your foot down and tell him you are going alone. And you have to let him know that it's ok with you, and you won't be pissed at him for not going.

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