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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Would you be upset and is it cheating.

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Poll

Question: Would you be upset if your SO was texting someone else?

Options:

Would you think it was innocent and be ok with it?

Would you think your SO was cheating


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Total Votes: 63

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My ex fiancé and i have been together for 6 years. Recently things had been feeling really strained and the harder I tried the more he pulled away. About a month ago we got into an argument and we broke up. I broke up with him. He was so rude and didn't see what it was that he had done. I asked him for almost a year if we could do premarital counseling and he said yes, but wouldn't go. It was excuse after excuse, but always my fault. The best one was that he would go, but it still wouldn't make me happy. I made a lot of mistakes, but I would call myself on it. Like I didn't talk a lot. I would text him or email. We didn't live together. I thought he would listen better if he wasn't able to interrupt and deny.  He stopped apologizing because he said he was tired of being the bad guy. He was doing stupid stuff. He "joked" about having a kid so much that I don't know if he has one. He would say he did then say it was a joke. Stupid things like that. Anyway, I just found out that he was texting some other female all hours of the night and morning. I would text him and he wouldn't answer, but he always answered her. The worst part is that she goes to my church. She would sit there and stare at us. It was creepy. I would tell him and he would say it was me. One day she walked by and touched his arm and he laughed and denied it. He says they are just friends and that I'm insecure and looking for something. I talked to her. She was as rude as him. I feel like he cheated. Why would an engaged man be talking to another women at those hours and so much. I don't see how this is friendship. Do you think I'm overreacting? I keep asking him how he would feel if things were reversed and he won't answer. He put it on me. He was always texting and acting funny, so I would ask him about it. He always said it was nothing and showed me text from his brother. He gave me a reason to feel like something was up. I didn't make it up. I feel like he cheated, he says they are friends. I'm hurt and confused. On top of that I now have to go into a church and sit with the chick who is partly responsible for breaking up my fiancé and I. I blame them both. I don't know what to do with this. I don't really have any friends to talk to, so please help me through this. I feel like even IF nothing physical happened between them, he had an emotional affair. 





Update: I want to thank every one for your kindness. This has been very difficult for me, but I'm trying to move on. He has been texting me, but the more he text, the better I feel. He continues to tangle himself in lies. I've found out that he has spent time with her even though he assures me if was innocent. I'm not buying that though. We were trying to work things out when this all came to light, but not anymore. I know it's going to be a long road ahead of me, but I'm going to work on it. I took out a gym membership and have found some new friends that I didn't even know cared. As much as this hurts, and believe me it hurts a lot, I'm finding a few blessings in this. My kids are ok, and thanks to all of you I have realized that I wasted a lot of time on a man who didn't care the way I did. I'm going to spend some time taking care of me for a while, thanks again.

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:28 AM
Replies (11-20):
la_bella_vita
by Bella on Mar. 26, 2013 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Yikes, sounds like it's time to walk away

rayroe2
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Long my husband did that to me amough so much more....he's jacking his shit off as we speak because his sa asshole...
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MrsImperfect
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 3:58 PM
You deserve better. The man of anyones dreams wouldn't do that. So you shouldn't either. If hes not making all other girls jealous of you then hes not the one.
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xoxRachelxox
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:21 PM

I had an ex boyfriend that pulled this same shit with me. I thought he was messing around on me and he always made me feel like an ass for even thinking that way. 

There was one "friend" of his that he always talked to and hung out with. I didn't like it. I called them out and they both made me feel like I was being paranoid. Come to find out, they were sleeping together. 

If you feel like he is, then he probably is. 

I have never felt like my husband has ever cheated or wanted to. That's how it should be. 

You shouldn't have so much doubt. 

I say it's a good thing you're finding this out now, before marrying him. It still sucks but it's better to figure it out now. 

mommieof38829
by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:22 PM
I would have beat her ass and his
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earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:27 PM

 I believe we are given instincts and intuitions and gut feelings for a reason to guide us and protect us. Listen to what you already feel you know. I wouldnt put up with any kind of cheating including emotional.  It sounds like you have other good reasons to have moved on from this relationship after already trying your hardest and giving it time and giving him chance after chance. There is a good reason he is your ex. Try to focus on healing YOU now so you can be happy again and move forward without him. ANd by the way the best revenge is to live your happiest best life despite him and without him and let HIM live with the what if only's .. you deserve better. HUGS

 YVONNE

JML223
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 1:28 AM

I'm sorry to say he has cheated already with this girl.  Always trust your instincts and they are telling you the correctly.  Women always know.  Stop trying to save a situation that he obviously does not want to save.  The Skank Ho is rude because she doesn't want to make friends with the girl your ex fiance is still with that is why she is rude.  If she was his friend she would want to be friends with you as well.  He is trying to play mind tricks with you.  Walk Away.

He is putting all the guilt on you for all your problems.  This girl goes to your church and she sits in church staring at you all but its all your imagination.  What is going through her head is that he should be with me not you?  They are most likely laughing behind your back.  How bold are they sitting in the house of god knowing what they are doing to you.

What I would do is talk to your pastor (without ex fiance) because I have to assume he was going to marry you guys and I would explain you needed someone to talk to you regarding your situation regarding your ex fiance and this Skank Ho that is in his church.  I am on the fence about finding another church because after I broke up with him I would want to see if he shows up in church with her on his arm.  At best I would find another church to go to temporarily to give them time to think you are not going there anymore.

Once I had my confirmation (because men are dumb) that he came to church with her I would beat them both down.  I saw a video on YouTube where a parishoner beat the pastor at the pulpit because he cheated on the woman.  Bad to raise your fists it the house of god but she beat him down!

CrystalPystol
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 2:10 AM

You did the right thing by ending the relationship. Can you find another church to go to? *hugs*

SageAdvice
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this

 Paragraphs are your friends people. USE THEM.

 

Good Luck

 

 

CutieCrab
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:50 AM

 There is definitely something up. If they were just friends then why couldn't she just come up to the BOTH of you and just say hi. I would NOT be okay with that! 

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