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Hubby and I start marriage counseling tomorrow :/ UPDATE

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And honestly I'm nervous as hell.

We've gone once before...Back in '09-'10, we went for a total of 5 months.  It helped us then, and I'm hoping it helps us now.  But we're so far into this mess we've created that I'm afraid there's no helping us.  I'm afraid 2 deployments and multiple lengthy training exercises have changed my husband for the worst, and as much as I try to talk to him and get him to understand what it's doing to our family, he just doesn't see what the problem is.  We are both on anti-depressants, and I'm also on an anti-anxiety additive as well.  I'm hoping by us going to counseling together again, we will get somewhere and be able to start fixing our problems and turn our relationship back into a loving one, instead of me feeling like the kids and I are just a burden to him.  

We only get 6 sessions with his squadron chaplain, and then after that he can refer us to an actual therapist if he thinks we need more...And I'm hoping he does because I know 6 sessions isn't enough.

3/28 UPDATE:

Well we went to our first session yesterday.  It went really well.  So far the chaplain seems to be pretty fair and unbiased.  We discussed the big major issues that brought us to see him, discussed where we want our relatioship to be, etc.  Right off the bat, he said we will be doing more than 6 sessions with him.  I guess he thinks our issues are that serious, that he wants to spend more time with us than he usually spends doing marital counseling.  Which I am happy about.  He didn't say how many sessions, just more than the normal 6.  We will be seeing him every Wednesday morning unless something comes up with my husband's work, at which point we will reschedule as soon as possible.  

The chaplain did give us a few things to work on at home until our next session.  He gave us each an "assessment" to do, just basically so he can get a feel on how we view each other and our relationship.  

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:03 PM
Replies (31-35):
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 3:32 PM

Bump for update.

by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 3:50 PM

First step forward! Good luck to you both. whatever you decide in the long run, at least you can say you tried everything you could!

by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 3:52 PM

Sounds like it went well! 

by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 6:55 PM

 Glad it went well!! First one is always ok. Then the 2nd and 3rd We usually yell at each other a lot. :P After that they get more helpful. LOL That's us at least.

by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:08 AM
That's a great first step! I think it is great fot married couples going through difficulties ot not. It helps build a strong bond and keep lines of communication open! Keep working on it. It is worth fixing remember that. As you two are working towards a common goal you can and will fix it.
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