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Fell out of love with my husband, in love with someone else.

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I've been with my husband for over 10 years, and married 8 in July.  Over the past 2 years, I've felt a disconnection with him.  Looking back, I don't believe I was ever in love with him and just settled.  Sex is about once a month, if anything, but even when we are intimate, I feel disgust, and I think he can tell, but doesn't say anything.  We have a semi open relationship, where he lets me have a girlfriend, or be with girls. We're both ok with this because they are girls, and he feels I will never leave him for another girl.  Those were his words exactly.  Anyways, I'm not really into girls as much as I need a man.  Long story short, I'm part of an online chat community and met a guy.  We talked as friends before, and he recently confessed his attraction towards me.  He said he would like to ask me out, but knows i'm married.  My reply was... ok, and?   It took him by surprise.  I talked to him how I've been unhappy with my husband, how he neglects me, how his friends come first, his band comes first, and how he's very selfish in many ways, and I feel more like his room mate than his actual wife.  We text and talk on the phone, and have met a few times.  This guy is WONDEFUL.  He's 12 years old than me, divorced, and such a gentleman.  He holds doors, lets me order first, treats me like a princess.  I've fallen in love with this guy, and I want to be with him.  Problem is, I'm scared to death on how to let my husband know that my love for him is non existent, what will happen to the kids, how will they react.  I'm just tired of feeling unwanted, not desireable, and this man gives me what I need.  help. :( 

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:49 PM
Replies (51-60):
DragonMother10
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Two options:

1. Get marriage counseling or

2. Divorce your husband first, THEN move on with someone new.
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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Mar. 28, 2013 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this

Quoting Bearsmomma925:

In case you forgot your not god so it's not your place to judge. Women dont come here to be beat up on they come for support. I guess your mother forgot to tell you if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Hopefully you'll make a better example for your children.

Honesty is the best policy.

You'll get used to it, or you'll move on. You'll find a mixed bag in this group, support is a relative term. I'll repeat, we aren't kind to liars and cheaters. Everyone here is judged one way or another, and if you think people don't come here to get beat up on you have no idea what website you've joined. Welcome to the club. 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:10 PM
1 mom liked this

 Love is a choice, not an emotion. Your marriage is totally fixable if you're willing to put forth the effort. But if you choose not to love your husband and if you choose not to work on the marriage, at least give him the decency of being honest about the affair and asking for a divorce before things move further with this other guy.

And remember that relationships take WORK. No matter how great this new guy may be, you're going to have downs with him too. You're going to have to choose to love someone and work on the relationship and not just find a new guy everytime it's not the fairytale you imagined. Only you can make your fairytale. No one else.

PinkParadox
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this

End one relationship & live on your own, before starting a new one.  

LinkinParkslh
by New Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:39 PM
Im not here to discriminate. I too am in the same boat. Its not easy. Hope you find the happiness you deserve. Feel free to message me if youd like. Good luck mama
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2lilmamas
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:58 PM
Good luck on that.
HisUsmcWifey
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:59 PM
Wow disgusting.
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HisUsmcWifey
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:01 AM
Agree. Plus you don't have to be god. If you put your shitty ass behavior on here for the world to see expect people to not agree with it. That's life.


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:


Quoting Bearsmomma925:

In case you forgot your not god so it's not your place to judge. Women dont come here to be beat up on they come for support. I guess your mother forgot to tell you if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Hopefully you'll make a better example for your children.

Honesty is the best policy.

You'll get used to it, or you'll move on. You'll find a mixed bag in this group, support is a relative term. I'll repeat, we aren't kind to liars and cheaters. Everyone here is judged one way or another, and if you think people don't come here to get beat up on you have no idea what website you've joined. Welcome to the club. 


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4kings1queen
by Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 2:03 AM
Have you told him how you feel? Whatever you do stop and think first. If you keave your husband dor another man, just watch and see what happens. Goodluck. Its only GOOD NOW.
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neyney_nancy
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 2:30 AM

I think some part of you are still in love with your husband otherwise you would have left already. And I think you feel guilty that you have an attraction for someone other than your husband and has acted on it. There's a different between being attracted to someone and making yourself available. If you are truly unhappy, leave or ask your husband to leave. It shouldn't matter whether you found someone or not. Replacing him isn't going to make you happy.....just saying. 

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