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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Fell out of love with my husband, in love with someone else.

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I've been with my husband for over 10 years, and married 8 in July.  Over the past 2 years, I've felt a disconnection with him.  Looking back, I don't believe I was ever in love with him and just settled.  Sex is about once a month, if anything, but even when we are intimate, I feel disgust, and I think he can tell, but doesn't say anything.  We have a semi open relationship, where he lets me have a girlfriend, or be with girls. We're both ok with this because they are girls, and he feels I will never leave him for another girl.  Those were his words exactly.  Anyways, I'm not really into girls as much as I need a man.  Long story short, I'm part of an online chat community and met a guy.  We talked as friends before, and he recently confessed his attraction towards me.  He said he would like to ask me out, but knows i'm married.  My reply was... ok, and?   It took him by surprise.  I talked to him how I've been unhappy with my husband, how he neglects me, how his friends come first, his band comes first, and how he's very selfish in many ways, and I feel more like his room mate than his actual wife.  We text and talk on the phone, and have met a few times.  This guy is WONDEFUL.  He's 12 years old than me, divorced, and such a gentleman.  He holds doors, lets me order first, treats me like a princess.  I've fallen in love with this guy, and I want to be with him.  Problem is, I'm scared to death on how to let my husband know that my love for him is non existent, what will happen to the kids, how will they react.  I'm just tired of feeling unwanted, not desireable, and this man gives me what I need.  help. :( 

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:49 PM
Replies (71-71):
24clark
by Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:53 PM

You are having an affair whether you want to believe it or not. An emotional affair is still an affair. I can understand what you say about how you feel neglected and it seems reasonable seeing what you say about the state of your marriage.

I really hope you will realize soon that what you are looking for is not going to come from the direction you are headed or where you are looking for it at. PLEASE for your sake and the sake of your family, talk to your husband and consider getting serious counseling. You both deserve happiness and CAN achieve it with one another. You would both benefit from it, find deep peace, love and satisfaction AND your children will learn how to work and manage a happy, loving marriage. 

Please reconsider what you are doing! PLEASE!! You will never know the depth of what you can acheive if you walk away now. You truly have an opportunity right in front of you that you are looking right through. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Good luck.

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