So if you are a frequent reader of this forum than you know I'm not a crap taker. I'm a strong woman who is rather feministic. My in-laws kill me. My FIL is pretty much an abusive ass. He always has been from what little I have learned. My DH doesn't like to talk about his childhood so I know almost nothing about how he grew up. Most of it comes from my SIL who as the sainted youngest child and only girl was treated rather well from what I gathered. My FIL's abuse is mostly verbal and emotional but there were things said to make me think it used to be physical as well.
I'll try to make this short. We go over for family dinner every single Sunday night. I am treated rather well over there as I'm not one to tolerate not being treated well. FIL has tried to make "rules" for how I can parent, aka no discipline while the kids are in their home. I ignore it. My DS has the same standards everywhere he is and if my FIL doesn't like it he can......*cough*. Nothing is ever said to me. My SIL is the only other one with kids. They're pretty awful kids honestly. When they attend dinner my FIL does yell at my SIL for being "mean" to her DS in particular. Personally I think that kid could use some therapy but that's another story.
I've never been fond of Sunday dinner but it's important to my DH so I go and make the best of it. It is officially becoming intolerable. My FIL seems to have lost all sense of decency. The way he treats my MIL. I cringe. I want to get up and stab him with my fork actually. He's degrading the entire time we are there. Yells at her. Has her hopping up from the table every 2 seconds to fetch something. Degrades the cooking. Just all around completely abusive to my MIL. My MIL is completely defeated. I'd consider her to have had her soul sucked out a long time ago. She's there but not there you know. It's awful.
So Easter, he's being worse than usual and my SIL's kid actually asked him why he hated grandma. He told him it's because, "She's mean." Now I'm one angry pregnant woman and I was having a huge problem showing restraint. I had to get up from the table and lock myself in the bathroom for a bit.
So this is where it's going to cause problems. If he's going to be an such an asshole that even SIL's satans spawn has picked up on it I'm NOT taking myself and my kids over there for dinner anymore. My DH is not going to understand my reasoning as he's used to it and when I ask him after dinner what he thought he usually hasn't even noticed. They do keep the TV on throughout dinner and most people watch TV. So DH doesn't noticed but I do and though DS is 2 I'm sure he will eventually. What to do?