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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Need some advice ladies please help

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:10 PM
  • 11 Replies
I'm having some serious trust issues right now. Me and my fiance were doing so great up until now. Well not now but I will just enlighten you in the deal. Ok I never felt a need to not trust him until I caught him on backpage (escort section) He said he was just curious but in my head im like curious to what. I am the first woman since his divorce from his ex that he has ever settled down with or anything and its rare for him to say he loves someone but he tells me all the time. My trust issues come from my ex husband, who cheated for no reason when he could have just left. He actually cheated with my sister smh but I know Q isn't like him and honestly he hasn't done anything bad other then the backpage. Ladies how do I let go of the trust issue crap?

Simply Original Simply Niquein love

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KJH78
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:18 PM

Hummmm.....well I don't know if it should be that easy. Is it okay with you if he's looking at other women? I don't see any reason for a person in a committed relationship to go to an escort page. However, if you're satisfied with his response and there's no other signs then my theory is let it go...if he is the cheating type he will eventually cheat. Don't get paranoid about it and bug him it will drive him away and drive you crazy.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:20 PM

You have to talk to him about your feelings and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable. Don't get paranoid and assume he is going to cheat.

How long have you two been together?

Qbjwifey
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:23 PM


Quoting KJH78:

Hummmm.....well I don't know if it should be that easy. Is it okay with you if he's looking at other women? I don't see any reason for a person in a committed relationship to go to an escort page. However, if you're satisfied with his response and there's no other signs then my theory is let it go...if he is the cheating type he will eventually cheat. Don't get paranoid about it and bug him it will drive him away and drive you crazy.

Im not okay with it and it made me feel really crazy considering my ex cheated with a few " escorts".....Uhhhh this is so frustrating!

Simply Original Simply Niquein love

Qbjwifey
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:25 PM

8 months so far and everything else has been just great it just seems like I cant pass that one issue...I planned on talking to him tonight after his conference call

Simply Original Simply Niquein love

KJH78
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:15 PM

I understand the frustration and really feel for you. I bet you want so bad to trust and someone pull through and show you the trust was warranted. I know you shouldn't make one man be punished for what another did, but you also don't need to stop guarding your heart when you've been hurt....I hope he's an understanding guy who will listen to your concern and be respectful and not angry towards you. Take care of you.....and if it doesn't feel right that's your inner self protecting you. God Bless!

Quoting Qbjwifey:

8 months so far and everything else has been just great it just seems like I cant pass that one issue...I planned on talking to him tonight after his conference call



Qbjwifey
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:42 PM
He really is understanding he is actually like the male me so I'm going to try and talk this out

Quoting KJH78:

I understand the frustration and really feel for you. I bet you want so bad to trust and someone pull through and show you the trust was warranted. I know you shouldn't make one man be punished for what another did, but you also don't need to stop guarding your heart when you've been hurt....I hope he's an understanding guy who will listen to your concern and be respectful and not angry towards you. Take care of you.....and if it doesn't feel right that's your inner self protecting you. God Bless!


Quoting Qbjwifey:

8 months so far and everything else has been just great it just seems like I cant pass that one issue...I planned on talking to him tonight after his conference call




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furbabymum
by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 11:48 AM

 I can't say that I can think of any reason a man content in his relationship would be looking at escort pages. Even curiosity doesn't work for me.

Sounds to me like you both have issues from your past. You can't really move forward together until you've sorted through those past issues. It would be helpful to attend counseling, seperately and together until you feel like the past is the past and not controlling how you look at the future.

Also, why did he divorce his ex?

Try not to have kids together until you've worked this out.

xoxRachelxox
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:26 PM

I would just tell him that you have issues from being cheated on so it's hard for you not to think the worst. 

Tell him it upset you and ask that he not check that kind of stuff out again. 

That's what I would do.

mommysangelface
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:30 PM
You need to tell him how you feel.

You also need to keep reminding yourself not all guys are like your ex. I know its hard

I've been cheating on countless times. And there are times I have to remind myself dh isn't like any of my ex's
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oscarsmom70
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Open, honest, responsible communication has seemed to be the best thing for me in my marriage when things happen that seem ok to him and drive me crazy . . . praying for you!!

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