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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is it wrong to ask for a bachelorette party?

I'm eloping in June with my fiancé, which means I won't have a bridal party and no one will think a out throwing me a party. I want to have a bachelorette party, but I don't want to throw it for myself. Would it be wrong to hint to people, or ask a few friends to maybe do some type of gathering for me? EDIT: Since many of you are questioning if I'm eloping or not, here's the low down. We are technically eloping because only certain people will know about it, namely our babysitter and 2 of our friends plus my grandmother at the moment. Before we leave on our honeymoon vacation, we will most likely do a court marriage, if the place we are going gives us a hassle about getting married outside of our state. My fiance and I are going to tell more of our friends that we talk to, just because we feel they should be the ones we should tell first. Yes it should be our families, but his family doesnt care if they know or not, and my family will try to sabotage us getting married, just because they hate me. That's a different story that I wont get into.

Jennifergay pride ribbon

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 2:14 PM
Replies (41-50):
emarin77
by Silver Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:44 PM

It is your day, do what ever you want.  Other then the state rules for marriege of course.

Diamepphyre
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:05 PM
4 moms liked this

Last time I checked, "eloping" meant getting married without anyone knowing.  So you are not eloping - too many people know about it.  You are getting married. 

SavdNSanctified
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

If you want a party, throw one. But I'm a little worried about a marriage starting off like this, and the fact that neither of your families seem to want you to get married :-/

goldilocksbecky
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 Exactly.  You are "getting married at the courthouse/by the JOP" or "not having a big wedding".  But eloping means you go off just the two of you and nobody else knows about it.


Quoting Diamepphyre:

Last time I checked, "eloping" meant getting married without anyone knowing.  So you are not eloping - too many people know about it.  You are getting married. 


 

IQuitCounting
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this

We did the similar type of "elopement" wedding but since we'd originally planned an at home wedding I had girls that were supposed to be my bridal party.  When I told them we were eloping I said they were still my honorary bridesmaids (and when we had our reception at home my "maid of honor" still gave a toast) because they still hold that place in my life.  They took me out for drinks of their own prompting, nothing fancy, but still a fun evening with my ladies in honor of my upcoming nuptials.  I think it's fine to breach the topic, just don't feel like you're owed it.  If they get the hint, awesome, if not, well, that's kind of the price you pay for not doing it in a traditional manner.  More than likely they'll jump at a chance for a ladies night anyway.

gilbertgrl627
by Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 4:19 PM

So, if you're only going to tell 2 of your friends you're planning on getting married, would those be the only 2 ladies invited to the bachelorette party?

I think someone else had the idea of you guys doing a small "ceremony" at the courthouse, and maybe have a small backyard reception (just friends and family you guys like and who won't try to ruin it for you).

mommysangelface
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 4:21 PM
that's what it used to mean. Lol

Quoting Aslen:

Isn't eloping supposed to be a secret?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dreamalong
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 4:51 PM

There really are a lot of questions here.  I am curious as to how old you are.

Anyway, it is not wrong to hint to some friends to throw you a party.  I think, even thought you are eloping, you should let some close friends know and celebrate with them.  I believe you should never 'burn all your bridges.' 

Most state have laws about a waiting period if you are not a resident of that state, so you should plan to go to another city in your state, so that you will meet residents requirements.  check the laws, so you will not have surprises.

It also seems contradictory that you want to elope and yet want people around you to acknowledge and honor you.  I can understand that your family would not favor your marriage.  You can celebrate with friends after the fact.  This also assumes that you have money saved for a place to live, and to start a new life, that at least one of you has a job and can support you both, etc.

Best wishes.

C8linVilla
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 6:24 PM

ive never understood the point in them but i say if you want one just go do it. Or maybe go see the chipindales with some friends? 

squint1222
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 6:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately the answer is No.  Eloping means you go off quietly and get married.  You don't get to enjoy all the added festivities that go with a traditional wedding.  It would be in poor taste to hint or ask for a bachelorette party since that is thrown by your bridesmaids which if you elope you wont be having.


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