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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

9 times out of Ten when you go looking you will find.. Whats in the Dark comes to Light

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:52 AM
  • 15 Replies
My heart is heavy. My bf of eight years has a lock on his phone but if he falls asleep with a movie play I go in for the kill and generally find something everytime. Some things are minor and some are major. Tonight was major. Kind of sums up why I been having all these problems since 2012. Apparently his ex reached out to him and they have been exchanging feeling since October last year on and off and making phone calls. NOthing describe as to a meet ups ( she actually stated she is upset they cant hangout) apparently her husband got her phone records and even involved my bf mom to get info. Crazy his mom even knew and never mention to me. But he wonders why I don't care for his mom too much. Apparently the ex still talks to his family. I am just heart broken. I keep reading the emails I forwarded to myself for evidence over and over again. I know when people go thru things ppl tend to find someone to reach out to . Apparently they both were looking for an outlet thru their misery... The things he said about regretting leaving her or thinking about her daily etc etc.. will always love her ..etc etc. but you speak to her in October but propose to me in dec 2012... that has been put on hold but I am in shock.. Usually I would wake him up and scream and I decided to wake him up and tell him I seen stuff in his phone and before I blow up he needs to go upstairs in bed so I can be alone downstairs. I briefly told him what I say... ( emails with him and his ex) and I am downstairs bout to loose it.. cant sleep with a cup of vodka in my hand. I even thought about emailing the girl but hey.. it takes two and he allowed it .. she actually said she would keep her distance while going through her marriage issue but still Is wanting him at some point in her life is god willing.. blah blah.. I don't want another women to know she hurt me... Lord give me strength and wisdom... Help ladies...
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
pittymama
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:59 AM
2 moms liked this

between this post and your others.. i'm confused as to why you're still with him. 

smurfbitebug
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Why are you still with him if he has proven himself unfaithful, apparently time and again, and you aren't married? You're free to go! Go!

What are you waiting for?
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tawni_tav
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:11 AM
1 mom liked this
Quite honestly, I'd give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't do it without hesitation, then it's not worth sharing his heart. It's only going to hurt and make you want to try harder for something you can't get from him - which is his undivided love. I pray for you but I can't deny I've had a similar situation but he was my best friend who loved me. It still is hard to talk to him without feeling like I'm breaking his heart. In the end, I would choose my husband over him. Fortunately, my DH is a calm, patient man and wouldn't make me so talking to him until he tries something. My DH knows all too well how much my best friend means to me but also knows he himself is my world and wouldn't hesitate if he said it was time to hang it up. So try and talk to him. See if there's something he's missing in his life that you can give him that he gets from her and if not, then you should choose your happiness over your hurt. Good luck
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blessedmother28
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:19 AM
I just told myself im just gonna tell him im sick of this and if he want her he can have her or we both change phone numbers...unlock phones...no social media or pswds to all social media n emails n a ring or cxl all ties....yes all my post r sad n crazy. I didnt have a dad n he is a great dad to my two but that doesnt seem to be enough. i am guilty of throwing up in his face if he didnt propose i would get on dating site...which i did due to his lack of concern n he did in return to hurt me...tit for tat...but then proposed....ugh my life used to be great
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smurfbitebug
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:21 AM
1 mom liked this
He can still be a great dad and you don't have to be with him.
But if you think you can both mature enough together to make it work, maybe.
But I wouldn't count on it, and you're going to have to realize that just because you want to be with someone doesn't mean it's always the right thing to do.


Quoting blessedmother28:

I just told myself im just gonna tell him im sick of this and if he want her he can have her or we both change phone numbers...unlock phones...no social media or pswds to all social media n emails n a ring or cxl all ties....yes all my post r sad n crazy. I didnt have a dad n he is a great dad to my two but that doesnt seem to be enough. i am guilty of throwing up in his face if he didnt propose i would get on dating site...which i did due to his lack of concern n he did in return to hurt me...tit for tat...but then proposed....ugh my life used to be great
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blessedmother28
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:24 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree...Feeling like a sucker for love. I have tried to see if i.could find love elsewhere n havent. guess im scared to be lonely for two long. i have never been single..
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SunnyDayz-Ahead
by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:38 AM
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You were wrong when you said "it takes two, he allowed it"..... it takes three apparently beceause you're allowing it.
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polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:56 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree. OP, it sounds like you're willing to stay with him even though he's not in love with you. He could be the greatest dad in the world, but he doesn't seem to be the right partner for you. I'm sorry.


Quoting SunnyDayz-Ahead:

You were wrong when you said "it takes two, he allowed it"..... it takes three apparently beceause you're allowing it.

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blessedmother28
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:58 AM
This just happened at 1 am tonight / am trust me im not done
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Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:27 AM
1 mom liked this

It's possible for men to love more than one woman. He shouldn't be dishonest though.



Quoting polkaspots:

I agree. OP, it sounds like you're willing to stay with him even though he's not in love with you. He could be the greatest dad in the world, but he doesn't seem to be the right partner for you. I'm sorry.


Quoting SunnyDayz-Ahead:

You were wrong when you said "it takes two, he allowed it"..... it takes three apparently beceause you're allowing it.



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