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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Dont know what to think

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:13 PM
  • 11 Replies

My DH was tracked down by an old girlfriend.  She lives at the oposite end of the country and they havent seen or spoken in many years.  She tracked him down via internet.  She professed her undying love and suggested they have an affair.  My DH said he was not interested.  And there has not been any more communication that I know of.

My problem...he is acting different now.  I did get upset by her suggestions and such even after he told her he was married.  My main problem is he has not tried to get frisky since he sent her the get lost email.  And when I try to innitiate anything he is not in the mood for various reasons.  Its going on two weeks and I am at a loss.  And my self esteme is taking a huge beating.

I tried to talk to him about it but he says everything is fine and I am over reacting or makes some joke.  I might be but I can tell you this is very unusual for him.  And its not just the sex, he is acting weird on regular things as well.  Its like hearing from her flipped some switch inside him and he is a totally different person.

I really dont expect an answer or magic fix, guess I just need to talk to someone.  Thanks for listening.

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
myownparadise
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Sorry. I hope it gets better.
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KrazyLoveMommy
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:18 PM
Do you think he's interested?
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furbabymum
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Instincts, usually right, trust them! This is just my personality but I'd probably be bugging the hell out of my DH until he told me what was going on. Either that or I'd wait like a tiger in attack mode and pounce on him when we got to marriage counseling. :P Either way I'd be finding out what his deal is.

jojo_star
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:25 PM

I hope things get better. 

bbjade
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:31 PM
Idk that would bother me, too. I hope things get better, personally I would still try to get dh to talk about whats up.
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Jwick
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:32 PM

In the old girlfriend?  Well,

It all started out pretty innocent.  First she asked if he was who she was looking for and gave a few tidbits.  He replied yes he was.  She asked how he was, if he was married, what he was doing now, you know the usual ketch up thing.  He replied and asked how she was.  This is when he told me about her, I didnt even have to ask.  He came up with so and so found me, explained who she was and told me a few other things about her. 

She sent back a generic doing fine this is whats up with me letter, also sent a pic of herself.  The only thing he had to say was she looked exactly the same as he remembered.  In my opinion she is beautiful. 

Then she wrote him a nice long, and I mean long love letter.  He told me about it and let me read it.  Then wrote her back he wasnt interested, he had already told her he was maried and she shouldnt contact him again, hee sent it while I was still there at the computer, at his request.  The exchanges of emails was over the course of a week/week and a half.  Its been 2 weeks since then and he is still weird.

So, baised on what he told me of her, his comment over the pic she sent of herself and how he has been acting, if he was single I think he would have happily gotten together with her.


Quoting KrazyLoveMommy:

Do you think he's interested?


 

KrazyLoveMommy
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:00 PM
I think my biggest question is. .....why respond in the first place if he wasn't interested?

Quoting Jwick:

In the old girlfriend?  Well,


It all started out pretty innocent.  First she asked if he was who she was looking for and gave a few tidbits.  He replied yes he was.  She asked how he was, if he was married, what he was doing now, you know the usual ketch up thing.  He replied and asked how she was.  This is when he told me about her, I didnt even have to ask.  He came up with so and so found me, explained who she was and told me a few other things about her. 


She sent back a generic doing fine this is whats up with me letter, also sent a pic of herself.  The only thing he had to say was she looked exactly the same as he remembered.  In my opinion she is beautiful. 


Then she wrote him a nice long, and I mean long love letter.  He told me about it and let me read it.  Then wrote her back he wasnt interested, he had already told her he was maried and she shouldnt contact him again, hee sent it while I was still there at the computer, at his request.  The exchanges of emails was over the course of a week/week and a half.  Its been 2 weeks since then and he is still weird.


So, baised on what he told me of her, his comment over the pic she sent of herself and how he has been acting, if he was single I think he would have happily gotten together with her.




Quoting KrazyLoveMommy:

Do you think he's interested?



 

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Jwick
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:39 PM

I asked him that, well not exactly that, but along the same lines.  He said he was extremly suprised at her feelings for him, and that she would suggest a relationship dispite him being married.  He would have no interest in staying in contact with anyone who felt like that since he is married.

Had he been single I think he would have been interested in the romantic interlude.  Or if she had not expressed those thoughts/feelings he would have been interested in keeping in touch with an old friend.  Or were you asking that maybe he had an interest before she expressed how she felt?  I dont think had he been single he would have activly sought her out himself.  I'm saying if she found him and he was single it may have gone somewhere.  Hopefully that makes sense.

Quoting KrazyLoveMommy:

I think my biggest question is. .....why respond in the first place if he wasn't interested?

Quoting Jwick:

In the old girlfriend?  Well,


It all started out pretty innocent.  First she asked if he was who she was looking for and gave a few tidbits.  He replied yes he was.  She asked how he was, if he was married, what he was doing now, you know the usual ketch up thing.  He replied and asked how she was.  This is when he told me about her, I didnt even have to ask.  He came up with so and so found me, explained who she was and told me a few other things about her. 


She sent back a generic doing fine this is whats up with me letter, also sent a pic of herself.  The only thing he had to say was she looked exactly the same as he remembered.  In my opinion she is beautiful. 


Then she wrote him a nice long, and I mean long love letter.  He told me about it and let me read it.  Then wrote her back he wasnt interested, he had already told her he was maried and she shouldnt contact him again, hee sent it while I was still there at the computer, at his request.  The exchanges of emails was over the course of a week/week and a half.  Its been 2 weeks since then and he is still weird.


So, baised on what he told me of her, his comment over the pic she sent of herself and how he has been acting, if he was single I think he would have happily gotten together with her.


 


Quoting KrazyLoveMommy:

Do you think he's interested?

 


 

 

 

KrazyLoveMommy
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:50 PM
I would be upset if he talked to her at all but I'm insane.
Men are weird creatures. He could have something completely different on his mind. Have you told him how you feel?


Quoting Jwick:

I asked him that, well not exactly that, but along the same lines.  He said he was extremly suprised at her feelings for him, and that she would suggest a relationship dispite him being married.  He would have no interest in staying in contact with anyone who felt like that since he is married.


Had he been single I think he would have been interested in the romantic interlude.  Or if she had not expressed those thoughts/feelings he would have been interested in keeping in touch with an old friend.  Or were you asking that maybe he had an interest before she expressed how she felt?  I dont think had he been single he would have activly sought her out himself.  I'm saying if she found him and he was single it may have gone somewhere.  Hopefully that makes sense.


Quoting KrazyLoveMommy:

I think my biggest question is. .....why respond in the first place if he wasn't interested?


Quoting Jwick:


In the old girlfriend?  Well,



It all started out pretty innocent.  First she asked if he was who she was looking for and gave a few tidbits.  He replied yes he was.  She asked how he was, if he was married, what he was doing now, you know the usual ketch up thing.  He replied and asked how she was.  This is when he told me about her, I didnt even have to ask.  He came up with so and so found me, explained who she was and told me a few other things about her. 



She sent back a generic doing fine this is whats up with me letter, also sent a pic of herself.  The only thing he had to say was she looked exactly the same as he remembered.  In my opinion she is beautiful. 



Then she wrote him a nice long, and I mean long love letter.  He told me about it and let me read it.  Then wrote her back he wasnt interested, he had already told her he was maried and she shouldnt contact him again, hee sent it while I was still there at the computer, at his request.  The exchanges of emails was over the course of a week/week and a half.  Its been 2 weeks since then and he is still weird.



So, baised on what he told me of her, his comment over the pic she sent of herself and how he has been acting, if he was single I think he would have happily gotten together with her.



 



Quoting KrazyLoveMommy:

Do you think he's interested?


 



 


 


 

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disnchntdwife
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 5:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Here is what I would do... Tell him that you can't blame her for trying to get with him because he is everything that a woman could want. ( even if you don't feel this way...you may need to blow some smoke..she certainly did ) Tell him it must have been flattering for her to " look you up " . Remind him of the great times you two have had & tell him you love him more everyday. Tell him you have been missing lovemaking After a week of this and no positive response... I suggest counseling. Best of luck Sista!!!
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