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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
I apologize if this is long but I have been feeling like I have no one else to talk to. I am 25 weeks pregnant and having a really hard time coping with an incident that happened on my birthday the other day. My husband, lately, has been having a serious issue with his anger and jealousy even though I have been faithful to him for the 5 years we have been together and provided him with a beautiful little girl and this nugget on the way. The night of my birthday he drank too much again and started just emotionally beating me down criticizing that I wasn't "pure" when I met him and essentially insinuating I'm a slut because I had dated 3 men prior to him and wasn't a virgin. Note the conversation began when i had mentioned to my mother that a friend is friends with an ex boyfriend. The title ex boyfriend set him off. Nonstop he was insulting me as soon as everyone left. Then he took my phone away so I wouldn't call someone to talk him down and began pushing me away or on the bed to keep me in our room while he went through my phone. He wouldn't out of the room let alone out of the house to go to my mother who happens to be my neighbor. It finally reached a peek when he slapped me across the face as he yelled at me calling me crazy and demanding to know all my passwords to everything he already knows. The hit was so strong it knocked me off my feet and left me utterly stunned. i tried to run out to my mother by he blocked the door in tears saying i did this to myself because i "changed". The hit on my birthday not only physically hurt me but it emotionally destroyed me. My mother wasn't help when she finally came over, she told me to keep quiet or DCF will take my child away and i shouldnt go to the hospital to make sure the baby was okay from all of the pushing he did to keep me locked in the house. I felt and still feel utterly alone and depressed. For the past two days I'll just start crying hysterically. My husband knows what he did was beyond wrong and has sought professional help to cope with his anger issues and alcohol issues the very next morning and has tried to make it up to me but I can't bring myself to trust him completely. I'm terrified of him. I have bruises all over my arms and that hit keeps replaying in my head over and over again and I begin to hysterically cry. I love him and I'm happy he's getting professional help but I feel like I just can't get past what he did to me. How does one even recover emotionally from that? To top it off both my mom and my husband doesn't want me to tell anyone or talk to anyone about it for fear of getting him arrested and having my child taken away. I feel like I'm trapped in a dark hole that I can't get out of. Anyone move past this in their relationship? He's never been this violent or unstable until recently. He becomes two different people then comes crawling back telling me he's sorry and knows he has a problem. He wants me to do couples counseling with him on top of his therapy. I just don't know. I can't even bring myself to put my wedding ring back on and sleep in the same bed as him. I'm utterly hurt and feel like I'm alone in this. :'(
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by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 10:48 PM
Replies (21-27):
kagegirl
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 10:20 AM
He sounds bipolar
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Ameretto13
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 9:41 AM

Uh. NO! Your mom and dh are WRONG! If you leave and ask for help protecting yourself and your dd and unborn lo, no one is going to take dd or unborn away! OMG! WHY would they think that?

Is this the first time he's done this? Omg! I am so sorry Mama! I never got past what my ex did to me. In fact I kicked his @$$ out and called the cops, got a restraining order, hauled his @$$ into court for custody and cs after dd was born, and left him in the dust. I don't care what his issue is, if he's willing to hit me what is he going to do to my kid(s)? That's me though and we weren't married.

My advice is to get into therapy yourself and figure out if you can move past this. I wouldn't blame you if you can't. I would never trust anyone that had no qualms about hitting/bruising/ pushing me without being pregnant. Never mind having that happen when I was pregnant... ex Has NO visitation/custody of dd period. She has a restraining order against him for the duration of her life. I got it the day she was born... The court was more than happy to grant it after a trial proved he was a serial rapist (no one had any clue, no one) and he hit me... 

xoxRachelxox
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 1:56 PM

They wouldn't take your child away because he hit you. They'd take HIM away. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. 

Honestly, I would have asked him if he was "pure" when you two first got together.... Were you his first? Not that it matters but it would help to be able to say that to him. 

foran
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 8:09 PM
Get out no man or woman should hit a pregant woman go stay at a friends house and your mom needs to be more supportive if you were my daughter you would be right here in my home with your child to i like to give your mother and sorry excuse for a belittle of a man a piece of my mind i am sorry this happen to you my cousions have had abusive husbands befote I've seen what it can do to a woman and childern to ill be praying for you to get out of there love someone doesn't mean you abuse them anykund of a way
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la_bella_vita
by Bella on Apr. 12, 2013 at 12:17 AM
Please leave. You are more likely to lose your child from staying.
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mrs.LaVista
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 8:27 AM

your mother is the biggest problem. distance yourself from her emotionally. If you cant trust your own mother what's left?? your husband has serious issues as you described, its great that he is getting help... but who helps you??? they are both twisted individuals and if your husband feels he got away with doing that to you right infront of your mother..... I would scared to stick around for the next episode..... run as fast as you can from toxic people. May God give you strength and light to do what you know in your heart you need to do.

CharlotteRose
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“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe
Today at 11:44 AM
by Charlotte on Apr. 12, 2013 at 9:01 AM

 

This!!!

Quoting TommyAbby:

They would only arrest him if you pressed charges. 

They wouldn't take your child away. 

 

You need to see someone and I would HIGHLY suggest going with him for therapy. You will learn ways to cope with what happened and to help you move on. 

 


 

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