I apologize if this is long but I have been feeling like I have no one else to talk to. I am 25 weeks pregnant and having a really hard time coping with an incident that happened on my birthday the other day. My husband, lately, has been having a serious issue with his anger and jealousy even though I have been faithful to him for the 5 years we have been together and provided him with a beautiful little girl and this nugget on the way. The night of my birthday he drank too much again and started just emotionally beating me down criticizing that I wasn't "pure" when I met him and essentially insinuating I'm a slut because I had dated 3 men prior to him and wasn't a virgin. Note the conversation began when i had mentioned to my mother that a friend is friends with an ex boyfriend. The title ex boyfriend set him off. Nonstop he was insulting me as soon as everyone left. Then he took my phone away so I wouldn't call someone to talk him down and began pushing me away or on the bed to keep me in our room while he went through my phone. He wouldn't out of the room let alone out of the house to go to my mother who happens to be my neighbor. It finally reached a peek when he slapped me across the face as he yelled at me calling me crazy and demanding to know all my passwords to everything he already knows. The hit was so strong it knocked me off my feet and left me utterly stunned. i tried to run out to my mother by he blocked the door in tears saying i did this to myself because i "changed". The hit on my birthday not only physically hurt me but it emotionally destroyed me. My mother wasn't help when she finally came over, she told me to keep quiet or DCF will take my child away and i shouldnt go to the hospital to make sure the baby was okay from all of the pushing he did to keep me locked in the house. I felt and still feel utterly alone and depressed. For the past two days I'll just start crying hysterically. My husband knows what he did was beyond wrong and has sought professional help to cope with his anger issues and alcohol issues the very next morning and has tried to make it up to me but I can't bring myself to trust him completely. I'm terrified of him. I have bruises all over my arms and that hit keeps replaying in my head over and over again and I begin to hysterically cry. I love him and I'm happy he's getting professional help but I feel like I just can't get past what he did to me. How does one even recover emotionally from that? To top it off both my mom and my husband doesn't want me to tell anyone or talk to anyone about it for fear of getting him arrested and having my child taken away. I feel like I'm trapped in a dark hole that I can't get out of. Anyone move past this in their relationship? He's never been this violent or unstable until recently. He becomes two different people then comes crawling back telling me he's sorry and knows he has a problem. He wants me to do couples counseling with him on top of his therapy. I just don't know. I can't even bring myself to put my wedding ring back on and sleep in the same bed as him. I'm utterly hurt and feel like I'm alone in this. :'(
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.