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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Dont know what to do

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:44 PM
  • 18 Replies

My husband has been so mean lately. I feel like it would be better just to leave but the kids and I really do love him. But he blames everything that is going wrong on me, even if it has nothing to do with me. I do believe he is somewhat bipolar but never diagnosed with it. (his dad is) And then there are times where he is so sweet and loving. Ahhh he is driving me nuts!!!!

My Boys are my everything!!

by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
leanntx
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Talk to him. Go to counseling together, if he won't go, at least do it for yourself. Leaving is always your last resort, especially with kids involved, unless he is abusive.
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mamacornias
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 3:06 PM


Quoting leanntx:

Talk to him. Go to counseling together, if he won't go, at least do it for yourself. Leaving is always your last resort, especially with kids involved, unless he is abusive.

I have talked to him. he is not the talking type and he would never go to counseling. I dont want to leave. I do everything for him too I clean, take care of the kids and animals and I dont ask for help I have even told him I would get a job but when it comes down to it he tells me no He is the one to work. What ever I do is not enough and I know it comes from how his dad treats him. he treats me the same way his dad treats him. ugh Plus my dad is dying and I have already lost my sister, brother, and mother so I am just stressed to the max. we have been together 9 years married for 4

My Boys are my everything!!

MomToovey
by Marianne on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

 This is abuse in my opinion. Blaming you for everything? No thank you. That's not healthy for you, and it's not healthy for your kids. They're going to grow up thinking this is how marriages are supposed to look and either treat their wives the same way, or allow themselves to be treated that way. He needs help. And if he's not willing to get it, it's time you start thinking about the safety of you and the boys.

leanntx
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 4:54 PM
No matter where it comes from, what he is doing is wrong. He shouldn't be treating you that way, your kids are learning that what he's doing is ok, and it's not. Tell him you're going to counseling, with or without him. If he refuses to change, you have to decide to do what's best for your family, not just yourself, and definitely not just him. It's hard, but you'll make it through, whatever you decide.


Quoting mamacornias:


Quoting leanntx:

Talk to him. Go to counseling together, if he won't go, at least do it for yourself. Leaving is always your last resort, especially with kids involved, unless he is abusive.

I have talked to him. he is not the talking type and he would never go to counseling. I dont want to leave. I do everything for him too I clean, take care of the kids and animals and I dont ask for help I have even told him I would get a job but when it comes down to it he tells me no He is the one to work. What ever I do is not enough and I know it comes from how his dad treats him. he treats me the same way his dad treats him. ugh Plus my dad is dying and I have already lost my sister, brother, and mother so I am just stressed to the max. we have been together 9 years married for 4


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furbabymum
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 6:08 PM

My DH used to do that to me. He is bipolar. Tons of therapy has stopped it.

KJH78
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 6:12 PM

Getting you and the kids to a safer place for a while may be the wake up call he needs to get help. Just because you "leave" doesn't mean it's forever. Relationships require work from both sides...you can't be the only one putting in effort. This can get worse and dangers unmedicated (if it's a mental illness or not), so protect you and the kids.....

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:28 PM

He's been mean lately?  Does that mean it's a new thing or is this a recurrent thing for him?

mamacornias
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:38 AM
Quoting Krysden:

He's been mean lately?  Does that mean it's a new thing or is this a recurrent thing for him?

It comes and goes lately very often.

My Boys are my everything!!

mamacornias
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:39 AM


Quoting furbabymum:

My DH used to do that to me. He is bipolar. Tons of therapy has stopped it.

Did he start medication or just therapy?

My Boys are my everything!!

mamacornias
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:42 AM

I have no where to go


Quoting KJH78:

Getting you and the kids to a safer place for a while may be the wake up call he needs to get help. Just because you "leave" doesn't mean it's forever. Relationships require work from both sides...you can't be the only one putting in effort. This can get worse and dangers unmedicated (if it's a mental illness or not), so protect you and the kids.....


My Boys are my everything!!

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