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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My husband has been so mean lately. I feel like it would be better just to leave but the kids and I really do love him. But he blames everything that is going wrong on me, even if it has nothing to do with me. I do believe he is somewhat bipolar but never diagnosed with it. (his dad is) And then there are times where he is so sweet and loving. Ahhh he is driving me nuts!!!!

My Boys are my everything!!

by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Replies (11-18):
mamacornias
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:50 AM


Quoting leanntx:

No matter where it comes from, what he is doing is wrong. He shouldn't be treating you that way, your kids are learning that what he's doing is ok, and it's not. Tell him you're going to counseling, with or without him. If he refuses to change, you have to decide to do what's best for your family, not just yourself, and definitely not just him. It's hard, but you'll make it through, whatever you decide.


Quoting mamacornias:


Quoting leanntx:

Talk to him. Go to counseling together, if he won't go, at least do it for yourself. Leaving is always your last resort, especially with kids involved, unless he is abusive.

I have talked to him. he is not the talking type and he would never go to counseling. I dont want to leave. I do everything for him too I clean, take care of the kids and animals and I dont ask for help I have even told him I would get a job but when it comes down to it he tells me no He is the one to work. What ever I do is not enough and I know it comes from how his dad treats him. he treats me the same way his dad treats him. ugh Plus my dad is dying and I have already lost my sister, brother, and mother so I am just stressed to the max. we have been together 9 years married for 4


I understand and know it's wrong I  don't think he relizes what he is doing. I wish I could trick him into going to talk to someone. 

My Boys are my everything!!

KJH78
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 7:31 AM

That's a dangerous place to be b/c if he knows that he has no motivation to change or get help. I would suggest working on a plan to have a backup place. You can't just sit there and let it continue. You have to protect you and the kids. Don't allow yourself to just be a victim.....work on a plan.


Quoting mamacornias:

I have no where to go


Quoting KJH78:

Getting you and the kids to a safer place for a while may be the wake up call he needs to get help. Just because you "leave" doesn't mean it's forever. Relationships require work from both sides...you can't be the only one putting in effort. This can get worse and dangers unmedicated (if it's a mental illness or not), so protect you and the kids.....




3xangel
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:09 AM
I suggest asking him to go to marriage counseling with you. Good luck.
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furbabymum
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:21 AM

All of the above. Medication, sees a CBT, sees a psychaiatrist, sees a general counselor and we go to marriage counseling.

Quoting mamacornias:


Quoting furbabymum:

My DH used to do that to me. He is bipolar. Tons of therapy has stopped it.

Did he start medication or just therapy?


myownparadise
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:33 AM
Is he stressed? It isn't an excuse for his behavior, but maybe there is something bothering him. Hopefully you two can work it out soon.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mamacornias
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 12:11 AM


Quoting mamacornias:

My husband has been so mean lately. I feel like it would be better just to leave but the kids and I really do love him. But he blames everything that is going wrong on me, even if it has nothing to do with me. I do believe he is somewhat bipolar but never diagnosed with it. (his dad is) And then there are times where he is so sweet and loving. Ahhh he is driving me nuts!!!!

Yes somewhat he started a business and its not going the way he wants. But  it's in my name and I do everything but labor. I don't think he learned how to treat people. His mom left when he was 10 so his dad raised him and he is no role model 

My Boys are my everything!!

mamacornias
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 12:13 AM


Quoting furbabymum:

All of the above. Medication, sees a CBT, sees a psychaiatrist, sees a general counselor and we go to marriage counseling.

Quoting mamacornias:


Quoting furbabymum:

My DH used to do that to me. He is bipolar. Tons of therapy has stopped it.

Did he start medication or just therapy?


See I  want him to go but we don't have the finances. He knows he is ADHD and maybe bipolar. 

My Boys are my everything!!

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:12 AM

 We have excellent health insurance but even with it if he didn't get treatment through the VA there is no way we could afford the medications every month. It's insane!

Quoting mamacornias:


Quoting furbabymum:

All of the above. Medication, sees a CBT, sees a psychaiatrist, sees a general counselor and we go to marriage counseling.

Quoting mamacornias:


Quoting furbabymum:

My DH used to do that to me. He is bipolar. Tons of therapy has stopped it.

Did he start medication or just therapy?


See I  want him to go but we don't have the finances. He knows he is ADHD and maybe bipolar. 

 

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