I really need some advice here. I'm teetering between crazy wife and concerned wife. I really need someone to tell me if I'm not crazy or crazy.
I have had this friend for many many years. She is married with children as am I. Went we first moved down here I would send my husband out with her since it's hard to find a babysitter and I wanted him to get out and enjoy this town. Over the last few years he invites her out to lunch pretty regularly and they get to have nice hour long converstations. Well recently her husband has had to go out of town for work. My husband goes over there once or twice a week to check up on her, bring her lunch or whatever she needs help with. I am very busy with my schedule and his schedule is super lax so she calls him when she needs something.
There have been a few times I have been completely left out. Like I will try to get a hold of her with no luck and a few hours later I will call my husband and he'll be over at her house. He always asks me if I have a problem with this and he knows it irritates me, but I'm not the type of person to restrict him on anything. It's his life too and why should he not have friendships?
I don't know if I'm jealous about the fact that she has a great support system and when I needed a support system when my kids were young, no one was there for me. Or am I jealous that my husband does all these thoughtful things and has conversations with another woman and not me. Or am I worried that this is going to go farther than I want it to go?
I haven't talked with her about it, because I don't want to be that person. I want to know if I'm crazy first. She has been a friend for many years and I should trust her too, right? I've told my husband in more that one situtation that it bothers me and he will either get deffensive about it or give me the "fine, I won't see her anymore" line in an angry tone that makes me feel selfish and crazy.
What do you think?