Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

i hate that i feel guilty...why should i? *EDIT*

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:45 PM
  • 46 Replies

my best friend called me tonight and asked if she could kidnap me for dinner, her treat. i talked to dh since it was my night to put dd to bed to make sure it was ok and he said it was fine but as soon as i hung up with my friend he started being a complete jerk. i'm a stay at home mom, which i love but my days consist of taking care of dd and doing college homework. i never go out "clubbing" or drinking because it's not my thing, in fact if i ever go out with friends dd is usually with me because dh is working so when the rare opportunity presents itself where i can go to dinner without dd i get excited, is that wrong? it was an hour and a half, i timed it because he was making me feel so horrible about it. i told him i'd take the next 2 nights of bedtime duty since i went out tonight but he's still being horrible. i feel guilty and i don't know why, i go out without dd maybe once a month, usually not even that often. i don't see the big deal. and when i came home i made sure to do all the dishes since my mom cooked for them but he made sure to question me about it saying things like "did YOU do the dishes?" "well i just wanted to make sure." making it sound like i always ditch my duties. i'm so freakin frustrated, i didn't do anything wrong right? or did i? he won't talk to me because he says i can't have a rational conversation. what did i do wrong?

*edit* i just wanted to add to one point of my original post. the only reason i did the dishes was because i told my MOM i would, since she cooked. in our house whoever doesn't cook does the dishes. but he should have helped me because he didn't cook either. i would not have done them if he told me to. i did them for her, not him. lol

CafeMom Tickers
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:45 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
stacey541
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:47 PM
4 moms liked this

You married him...he sounds like an ass

TattedReader
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:49 PM
2 moms liked this
Are we married to the same person? I feel your pain.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Miller0305
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:51 PM
1 mom liked this
This. He's emotionally abusive.

Quoting stacey541:

You married him...he sounds like an ass

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jaspersmommy3
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:51 PM
hell no you didnt do anything wrong..he is simply a ass..you shouldn't have to ask to do anythibg ifu want to go then by damngo, thts his kid too.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ZoeysMom11
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:52 PM

i'm not denying that. he's not like this a lot, rarely in fact but it does make me question my decision. 

Quoting stacey541:

You married him...he sounds like an ass

 

Mommabearbergh
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:53 PM
He sounds like a ass. Moms need breaks to I hope you enjoyed your time out.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jackieb2811
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Absolutely nothing! Your sh needs to stop being so petty and put his.child to bed without throwing a fit! I'm not kidding that is bullshit he is making you feel like shit or like a bad mom or parent for having a little time to.yourself. Also you should not have to.compensate for not putting her to bed tonight by putting her to bed the next two. Does he go out ever? Of not it still does not matter you are allowed to have friends and a life outside of him and your dd.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ZoeysMom11
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 11:58 PM

 he doesn't go out, he has one close friend and every month or so we'll go spend time with him without dd but other than that no. maybe that's why i feel guilty? idk. he's never given me crap about this before, idk what made today any different.

Quoting jackieb2811:

Absolutely nothing! Your sh needs to stop being so petty and put his.child to bed without throwing a fit! I'm not kidding that is bullshit he is making you feel like shit or like a bad mom or parent for having a little time to.yourself. Also you should not have to.compensate for not putting her to bed tonight by putting her to bed the next two. Does he go out ever? Of not it still does not matter you are allowed to have friends and a life outside of him and your dd.

 

jackieb2811
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:04 AM
Well for one it isn't fair that the only time he thinks it is ok for you to have free time is when it is with his friend. And two maybe he is jealous you have friends lol. My SO stopped talking to all his friends and he knew a lot of ppl but he only talks to 3 of those friends still and he never goes out but he would never ever make me feel bad for.taking.a break or anything! He def doesn't monitor my house hold duties in fact he helps me a lot and I am a sahm mom too. I am 35 weeks prego but I also have twins and before that he was helpful. Im sorry you have an ass wipe for a dh but don't feel bad!!


Quoting ZoeysMom11:

 he doesn't go out, he has one close friend and every month or so we'll go spend time with him without dd but other than that no. maybe that's why i feel guilty? idk. he's never given me crap about this before, idk what made today any different.


Quoting jackieb2811:

Absolutely nothing! Your sh needs to stop being so petty and put his.child to bed without throwing a fit! I'm not kidding that is bullshit he is making you feel like shit or like a bad mom or parent for having a little time to.yourself. Also you should not have to.compensate for not putting her to bed tonight by putting her to bed the next two. Does he go out ever? Of not it still does not matter you are allowed to have friends and a life outside of him and your dd.

 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ZoeysMom11
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:08 AM

i should have put this in the oringinal post but he does help with household stuff. the rule in our house (since we live with my mom right now) is whoever doesn't cook does the dishes. so it was technically my night to do them BUT he should have helped dry/wash because he didn't cook either but because he was acting like a baby he didn't, my best friend did because she decided to stay and hang out.

Quoting jackieb2811:

Well for one it isn't fair that the only time he thinks it is ok for you to have free time is when it is with his friend. And two maybe he is jealous you have friends lol. My SO stopped talking to all his friends and he knew a lot of ppl but he only talks to 3 of those friends still and he never goes out but he would never ever make me feel bad for.taking.a break or anything! He def doesn't monitor my house hold duties in fact he helps me a lot and I am a sahm mom too. I am 35 weeks prego but I also have twins and before that he was helpful. Im sorry you have an ass wipe for a dh but don't feel bad!!


Quoting ZoeysMom11:

 he doesn't go out, he has one close friend and every month or so we'll go spend time with him without dd but other than that no. maybe that's why i feel guilty? idk. he's never given me crap about this before, idk what made today any different.


Quoting jackieb2811:

Absolutely nothing! Your sh needs to stop being so petty and put his.child to bed without throwing a fit! I'm not kidding that is bullshit he is making you feel like shit or like a bad mom or parent for having a little time to.yourself. Also you should not have to.compensate for not putting her to bed tonight by putting her to bed the next two. Does he go out ever? Of not it still does not matter you are allowed to have friends and a life outside of him and your dd.

 


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)