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should i leave my marriage? or continue to fight?

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:34 PM
  • 29 Replies
My hubby an I have been married for about 3 years an together almost 11years. We have 3 kids together. Recently I've got a android cell which he has had for about a year. We've been fighting alot since I've got this cell cause I'm on Facebook more than i was. I'm now getting blamed for 'whorin' around an textin an calling guys all the time. Which by no means am I!! I love an cherish my hubby an kids more than anything!! But honestly this isn't the first time we've fought bout this. An if its not me 'whorin' I'm gettin called all sorts of names an he says I'm a horrible wife an mother an I don't do anything round the house. Which of course I do! I'm a stay at home mom to three kids 6, 4 an 2. I cook dinner everyday an do everything to keep the house runnin.
I honestly don't know wat to do?! This fight he says he's done an is gonna smash everything when he gets home an start over! I'm not sure why he's saying this stuff cause I haven't done anything! He says he seen messages on my fb..which there are but nothing that suggests anything is or was happening. It was just chit chat which hubby says guys dont do.? I've suggested us seeing someone together but he wont do that even on his own. I don't know wat to do?! I'm lost, hurt an broken an I've got 3 kids to take care of. I don't know how much longer I can take him doin this to me.
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CorpCityGrl
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:39 PM

Could he be projecting?  Has HE been acting weird or out of character? 

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 Have a heart to heart talk with him about your concerns and how you are reaching your limits but your marriage and he are both important to you and "IF" there is anything that can be done to improve things you really want to do that, so what is HE willing to do WITH you together as a team to make this work, let him know you can't do it on your own and you won't continue to put up with false accusations constantly and verbal and emotional abuse. That no matter how much you love and care about him, you HAVE to take tlc of yourself and have to have boundaries of what is acceptable or not and any kind of abuse is not acceptable. So ask him if he cares enough about you and your marriage to work on this with you and if so HOW so or if not to let you know so you can move forward without him.

Good luck HUGS

YVONNE

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:41 PM

 

Quoting CorpCityGrl:

Could he be projecting?  Has HE been acting weird or out of character? 

 That is a good question... when you have your heart to heart talk with him, ask him if anything has been going on his life that he has been holding in or suffering thru alone without sharing it with you that may be affecting his behavior.

YVONNE

OMGLasersPOWPOW
by Krystal on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:54 PM
It sounds like he is being verbally abusive. Is this a new character trait? Or has he always been that way?

Is there any reason why you can't delete your Facebook, if you are just in fact making him uncomfortable with some messages? If you are messaging guys, I do think it is fair for him to be upset. He shouldn't be calling you those names though...
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xoxRachelxox
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 4:21 PM

He shouldn't be calling you names. That's not okay. 

I agree with the first poster. It could be that he's guilty of something so he's making it seem like YOU are the one causing the issues.

myownparadise
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 4:24 PM
Hugs
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MomRocs1102
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 4:26 PM

guilty conscience for whats hes doing maybe.

Ilaynasmommy
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 4:59 PM
What's the messages he is referring to? What do they say?

While he's out of line speaking to you that way I have an idea why.

I would let him know I'm about done but that I want to fight and that its up to him.
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Ilaynasmommy
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Forgot to say... men really don't chit chat unless they are gay. There have been so many times dh has said I guy was after me and I thought they were just being nice.
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LadyNCVE
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:40 PM

Do you both have someone you can trust that would help you guys talk things out? Anyone at church?  Family?   What he's not doing is not right.  You definitely need to tell him to stop and how you feel.  Tell him you want to be happy and have peace.  Try to get both of you to get on the same page and do what you have to do to bring peace to your home.  Something is wrong for him to be treating you that way and it needs to be addressed.  He may be bottling things up. 

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