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How do you find time for your DH?

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:23 PM
  • 9 Replies
Between working 30 hours a week, raising 3 kids (one being a very clingy, high maitenance toddler) how do you find time to show your DH you love him and that he's important to you? My DH says he does not feel important to me, that I show him no attention. This makes me so angry I could spit! He works in a real city (we live in a rural area where I work) so after work 3-4 days a week he gets the privilege of going to a gym. He goes hunting or fishing on average once a week. If he wants to go golfing with the buddies from work, grant it, it is not often, he does not have to ask anyone to watch the children he just goes assuming it is taken care of. Ask me what I do for myself.......that's right ladies absolutely Nothing! And do I complain about anything he does, no I don't. Not a peep! I take care of the house, except for the odd load of laundry he does, I make sure the children are fed, I make sure babysitters are lined up (my mother and his watch our children while we work). Oh by the way I work shift work so I work evenings and weekends. I get the kids to school every morning, i get them to dance class, karate, dr.'s appt.s, etc. And now I'm being told its not enough. Well I don't feel like I'm giving myself enough attention! I try to show him he's important but there is only so much I can physically do. And right now I'm so mad I don't feel like doing anything which I know won't help the situation so I'm trying to find solutions. How can I squeeze this on to my plate too without exploding!
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by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:23 PM
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by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 12:27 PM
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sounds like you guys need to find some things in common that you can do together. if he's spending his time at the gym, going hunting/fishing, and golfing.. then he isn't making you a priority either. 

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:11 PM

 Well start complaining silly woman. List everything you do every day to take care of the house and kids. Then make a list of things you need for your own health. He should make a list of what he does and what he needs for his health. Then make a marriage health list. Compare. I'm sure he'll be all defensive over how paltry his tiny arse list is compared to yours. I'm a shrew so my DH knows exactly what I do for our family and he appreciates it. I do go out of my way for him often as well. I make meals I know he loves, I buy him flowers, bring him coffee when I have time. Little love stuff like that. It'd stop in a heart beat if I got no help at home and no appreciation.

by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 8:38 PM

Its my DH that has issues finding time for me.

by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:18 PM

I think you need to tell him just what you told us. How can you make him a priority for your time if he isn't around? 

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:21 PM

Hubby and I go for a 3 mile run everyday.  Then we watch our son at the park and thats our time together.  The rest of the time he is married to world of war craft....

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Can your DH support you if you will become a SAHM or work part time? Sounds like you need a  break. Love yourself and find time for yourself and your husband even if you need to cut down on your work hours. Life is way too short.

by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:53 PM
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I stop what I am doing when he walks in the door.  I kiss him and make sure he knows i am happy he is home.  At dinner, I fix his plate first to show him I am thinking of him.  I thank him for things even if they are "expected" (going to work, taking out the trash, doing that odd load of laundry).  I text him during the day to let him know I am thinking of him.  I make sure bedtimes are early enough that we get alone time.  And when I am feeling overwhelmed and like I have nothing to give him, I let him know.  Babe, I am at the end of my rope.  Can you put the kids to bed so that I can take a bath?  I will meet you in the bedroom when I am done. ;)



by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 1:26 AM
my hubby works 40+hrs a week and I work about 25 hrs a week plus go to college full time.

I am fortunate that I work close to home so on the days i am working I try and come home and have lunch with hubby. Also I don't make plans on weekends so we can spend the evenings together.
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by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:09 AM

We move a lot for my husbands job. Our families live on different sides of the country.
I'm very upfront with my husband with what I want/need and so is he. He expects us to move for him, I expect family focus at home. He helps me a lot when its needed. No matter how bad his day is he stops his work and talk.
In the past year now the kids are older we send them for a week in the holidays to their grandparents. We will still work but its nice to come home and just go out for dinner together or have uninterupted chats. We committ to a trip away together each year.
Now I work from home he will do little things like bring dinner home so I can have a night off cooking or take us out if Ive been stuck inside all day.
I do things like book him massage appointments after work when hes really stressed out or go in to his work on weekend and help with things.

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