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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

ok I guess I'll never understand

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:05 AM
  • 26 Replies
I'm here again with arguments about sex. I just don't get it. I'm pmsing for one, another I've asked for sex and he tries to have sex and wake me in the middle of the night. My issue is the waking me up, I'm exhausted all especially the week before my period. I've told him wait till I wake up please, yes yesterday I said do you want to be together, but is it bad that I mean and I've told him this when I'm awake! I hate arguing but I really don't think I can get him to truly understand. Anyone that says I'm making excuses that's not the case. Really I love my husband I just don't want to be his play thing if I'm not awake to enjoy to.
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by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:16 AM
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Initiate it while you are awake. Don't ask.  Start fondling him, walk by and and whisper in his ear how much you want him right now and ask him to follow. Ask him to shower with you.

mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:18 AM
That i do. He says not now or in a minute or i gotta go to work, well sometimes I've got to get to work but i do it when i don't do it it turns into a fight.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Initiate it while you are awake. Don't ask.  Start fondling him, walk by and and whisper in his ear how much you want him right now and ask him to follow. Ask him to shower with you.


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mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:20 AM
When i do tell him that he says Ohhhhh so this is a one up and that is so not the case I'm just saying.


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Initiate it while you are awake. Don't ask.  Start fondling him, walk by and and whisper in his ear how much you want him right now and ask him to follow. Ask him to shower with you.


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lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:24 AM

You two need to talk. Have a real heart to heart. Express your need (both of you ) and hoiw much you are willing to compromise. Has he always been like this? I find it odd he only wants sex while you are sleeping. Maybe counseling ?

mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:28 AM
We've talked, I've told him why does sex have to happen when I'm sleeping he says i just want to be with my wife! Uhm ok. He had been like this the entire time and i tell him how i feel it helps but not for long. I love him and of course thought of he will get it. Guess not


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You two need to talk. Have a real heart to heart. Express your need (both of you ) and hoiw much you are willing to compromise. Has he always been like this? I find it odd he only wants sex while you are sleeping. Maybe counseling ?


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kidlover2
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:32 AM
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It sounds like maybe you're both hurt and you're both trying to get the other person to initiate because you're "tired of being the only one interested and being rebuffed all the time" Maybe just try talking about how you feel. Ask him straight out what he wants and what turns him on... Talking sometimes is the biggest aphrodisiac. Stress is a part of everyone's life, married or not. It often creeps up on people unawares and kills your sex life. Sex may have come naturally as a carefree teenager/ young adult but adding kids, careers, and bills makes sex just one more thing that you do have to work at, but the benefits are huge when you do.
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mommyinthe303
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:37 AM
I will talk to him again and express my feelings. Is not that i don't try.


Quoting kidlover2:

It sounds like maybe you're both hurt and you're both trying to get the other person to initiate because you're "tired of being the only one interested and being rebuffed all the time" Maybe just try talking about how you feel. Ask him straight out what he wants and what turns him on... Talking sometimes is the biggest aphrodisiac. Stress is a part of everyone's life, married or not. It often creeps up on people unawares and kills your sex life. Sex may have come naturally as a carefree teenager/ young adult but adding kids, careers, and bills makes sex just one more thing that you do have to work at, but the benefits are huge when you do.

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chillemi78
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Just to play devil's advocate, what is wrong with him waking you up? My husband started it as a schedule necessity many years ago. At first, I sort of tolerated it, now I love it. Actually, lately, I have been up all hours with a teething baby and have been falling asleep early in the evenings, but he has been letting me rest and I asked why he hasn't woken me up because I miss it. He does make sure I am awake enough to enjoy it, it is not some fetish-y thing about sex while I am sleeping. He starts kissing me and cuddling and fondling me and slowly works up to more foreplay. Then when I am awake, he "does the deed". He does all the work, but makes sure not to stop until I have thoroughly enjoyed it too. Then I get to roll over and go back to sleep. To me, its a great feeling knowing he wants me and is willing to do all of that work and still makes sure I enjoy it. And then I wake up in a really good mood and have a great day. In a way, yes it is giving in to him when you are tired, but when it gives you two a chance to connect, is it really a bad thing?
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AlannaMaria
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:12 AM
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Hang in there.. * hugs*
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cntrdmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:19 AM
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My husband has been bad about waking me up for sex. Knowing good and well I barely get sleep. So when I'm out I need to be left alone. Anyways I get kids mean. And I've tole him if he just has to have it he better hope it doesn't wake me up. Lol.
I wish I had some good advice. It sounds lkie your sex schedule's are off maybe? I'm sorry I don't have anything better.
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