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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Should we pay her child support?

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:51 AM
  • 42 Replies
My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage. His ex got a new job last week and didnt tell my husband that it was 2nd shift 7 days a week. She just assumed we would keep them. We found out from his mom Saturday about her schedule so they have been with us since last Thursday. He called her yesterday and said he doesnt feel like we should pay her child support as long as she is working like this because we are the ones providing for the girls, having to buy extra food, extra clothes, extra gas going to after school practices, etc. she had a cow and says she thinks we should still pay her and says she is contacting her lawyer. Also, do you think a judge would give us custody due to her schedule? She hasnt seen the girls since last Thursday except for 2 hours on Monday when she saw the smallest.
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyT642
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:56 AM
3 moms liked this

If your cs agreement is legal, To keep from getting in legal trouble i would say you need to pay. But if you are wanting to change it, you need to go about it legally too.

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:10 PM
2 moms liked this

She has a right to work, she has to support herself. If that was the only position she could get, you can't fault her for it, and if she has custody and collects child support, you should still have to pay her. This isn't a decision for any of us though, you need to take her back to court. You can't dictate the days and hours she works, you're going to have to compromise.

Two_Hearts
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I think maybe he was jumping the gun a little bit ...honestly, i think him going about it the way he did may have her turn around and get a babysitter for the children instead of sending them to your house. 

While i do agree ..that if the children are at your house more so than her's at the moment ..that his child support should be taken off...but he should have contacted a lawyer before talking to her about the situation.

cruelella2to
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:18 PM

you guys had them for a week and don't want to pay CS for the month? seems a little unfair IMO

My husband paid CS for both his kids when they lived with us for over a year it was the best way to keep his kids without the legal drama. If you can afford it do it while you go and get it LEGALLY changed and always always document dates and time. even if it is just to reduce cs payments

Also keep in mind would you rather her work 2nd shift 7 days a week or have her sit at home 24/7 and keep paying more CS because she has no contributions to her children. Me i would like to see someone work. I work 2nd shift 6 days a week. I know how much pain im in not seeing my child and she lives with me all the time. so try and imagen if you can how much this sucks as is at such a a huge change for both BM and those kids.

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:20 PM
1 mom liked this

You have to pay child support until it's stopped or reversed unfortunately. I would petition the court and say that she has a new job that is a shift where she is leaving the kids with you guys for days on end. Since now you have the kids for more than 50/50 she'll probably have to pay you guys CS.... 

LizzieAnnesMom
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:23 PM
This

Quoting MommyT642:

If your cs agreement is legal, To keep from getting in legal trouble i would say you need to pay. But if you are wanting to change it, you need to go about it legally too.

mandalou86
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:29 PM
She had a day job and quit it. So it isnt the ONLY job she could get. She chose it. And no we didnt say we werent going to pay her for the month just because we had them for the week. He left her know that if this is how its always going to be he doesnt feel like we should have to pay her child support when she doesnt have them any. More of a heads up than anything. She isnt going to find a baby sitter so we dont have to worry about that. That would mean she has to pay someone ans that wont happen. Dh's dad use to watch the girls while we all worked and she only had to pay him 35 a week( we also paid 35 a week) and she stopped paying him because she said she didnt want to pay him anymore.
im_not_trollin
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:51 PM

if it's court ordered just pay it and petition to have a re-evaluation...  

fairymom82
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Beenn in your spot. we kept a log of when they came and when she visited . Then we took that and her new schedule to court. css is calculated by who has the kids most. we ended up with custody and cs because she was unable to provide care and continued to colled cs while we had them so she had to pay back the difference too. file for a cs modification and ask for custody as a 2nd shift she really isn't seeing them and well she obviously doesnt make time to visit.
afwifeandmommy3
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Take her back to court . No you shouldn't . If you have the children this much then she should be paying you
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