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My husband is verbally abusive and I really need some advice....BRUTAL HONEST ADVICE

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:38 AM
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this

This is my first time ever posting to a group, but I have no one to talk to and though maybe I could get some good, honest advice. Let me first just give a little background of the latest incident, which was this morning. I am a full time student with 5 children age 1-17. My husband works full-time and is the only source of income. I had two finals this week, a research paper due and an algebra test also. My 17 year old is having knee surgery on Tuesday as well. Until last night, I have averaged 3 hours of sleep per night due to studying for my finals, writing a paper, and studying for my algebra test. my husband is working nights for the mext week and a half, but usually works during the day. I sent him a test message lst night while he was at work and sent him a test message at 12:15 a.m. to see  if he would get the kids ready and take them to school this morning, when he got home so I could get some much needed rest, before ihad totake my oldest son to the dr. at 10 a.m. Well, we have two full baths, and when he got home this morning, he decided to take a shower in our master bath, which, of course , woke me up. Then, before taking the kids, he came into our bedroom and very rudelt start saying my name in a very rude tone of voice a poking me , all just to ask where my keys were. i really felt like he could have easily gotten the keys out of my purse without waking me, but instead decided to just be hateful. I told hin where the keys were and he continued speaking to me very rudely, im=n front of my youngest daughter, so I simply aksed that he just please leave me alone. That infuriated him, but all I was trying to do was to keep from turning it into an argument.. Then, as he left the room, he snatched all of the covers off of me and threw them on the fkoor , then slammed the door. 

When he returned home from taking the kids, I was crying, mostly out of pure exhaustion from lack of sleep over the past few days, and because I didnt unmderstand why he talked to me thatway and them snatched the covers off of me. When I asked him why he did that, he insisted that I was the one that had a bad attitude and then the name calling started. He called me a stupid B**CH, a PSYCHO B**CH,and threatened to leave and divorce me becuase I was crazy and that he deserved better. The words that stuck in my head though is that he calledthe mother of his son, a SCANDALOUS WHORE!! Like I said before, I am a full time student, he leaves for work before the kids get up and comes home afterthey are in bed. I take care of taking them to and from from school, doing all of the housework, laundry, grocery shopping bill paying, cooking, feeding and bathing, kids,,taking care of and mowing the yard.  taking the kids to thier drs appts and all of their extracirriculur functions, plus going to school during the day and doing online classes at night( usually until 1 or 2 a.m. then getting uyp at 6 to start all over again.  

When the gets home, he takes a shower, eats the supper that I always have ready for him, then lays down to play video games while I clean the kitchen, pick up the living room, finish laundry,  and work on my homework.  

Should I have to do all of this by myself? Should any husband call his wifethe names that calls me? I would leave him , but I have no financial support without him, and need the income so I can fnish school, but I just dont know how much longer I can hang on. PLEASE HELP!  

by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsImperfect
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:42 AM
4 moms liked this
He should never do that. You deserve help and to be treated better. Your kids will also see this and your daughters could marry a man like this and your sons become one. Its not worth it. Try therapy. Try if you truly want to stay with him to get help. Of not, then you should leave. Ive been in an abusive relationship. It gets worse...
ToraTigerMama
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Sweetie I have been here. Is there no one in your family you can turn to? This is not a good situation for you to be in especially if he's doing this in front of your kids. He's a jerk and an.... well... Talk to your counseler in school. Or one of your admins at school, they may be able to help. Hang tough it will get better. You just have to be strong.

kagegirl
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Dick the financial shit. There are ways around that. He doors this because he knows you will put up with it. You must leave. Get pa, get student loans, get a pay time job. Anything. Just Getty away from that asshole. Our, if your not going to, at least dish it back
TheMrs407
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Leave NOW! Between child support and benefits you dont need to worry about financial crap.
98765
by Silver Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

When he gets home from work tonight make sure his stuff is outside and the locks are changed. My response would have been "dont let the door hit you on the way out".

preacherskid
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

Get out.  You can get financial aid, there are programs to help you get on your feet.  If family isn't available, find a shelter until you get a job and can afford a place of your own.

claytonsgirl77
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Well, unfortunately, things have gotten worse since my post. He left for work yesterday afternoon right when I got home from taking my son to the dr. He didn't speak a word to any of us and just got in his truck and left. I waited and waited to hear from him but never did, so I started calling him around 11:30 pm to just make sure he was ok. After calling and texting probably 20 times, I just gave up and went to bed. He finally called at 3 or 4 am to say that he left his phone is his truck. I was still asleep wen he got home and he acted like nothing ever happened. So I calmly told him that I thought he needed to apologize to me for what he did the previous morning and for calling me those horrible names. He said he didn't do anything wrong and that it was my fault because if I would not been such a b**ch to him, that he wouldn't have called me those names and treated me that way. So of course the fight began to escalate again. He said f- you you stupid b**ch! So I slapped him in the face. Then he stood up, so I stood up and he said hit me again, lie he was threatening to bit me back, so I slapped him again. After that, he rared back his arm and made a fist and said hit me agin you b**ch and see what happens. He's 6'1 270 lbs., but I wanted to call his bluff, so I slapped him again. He said he was leaving and calling the cops on my psycho a**, and would be back to get his stuff after the police take me away. Then he left. No police ever came and I have not seen him since. That was at 11:30 this morning and it is now 2:00 pm. I don't know what to do. I know I should not have hit him, but I just can't deal with the name calling any longer. I bust my a** to take care of these kids and him and our house but since I don't get paid for it, he thinks he is the only one contributing, so that gives him a sense of entitlement to just go to work and come home and sleep without helping me do anything! I still don't know what to do. When he left he said he couldn't be with someone that puts their hands on him and that he would see me in court.
claytonsgirl77
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:06 PM
I have no money, or any way to get any. The house is in his name so I have no where to go even if I did leave. We live in a small town in Mississippi where there are no shelters or help for people like me, and I don't want to put my kids through that anyway. He used to be just a nice guy, I don't know what has happened to him, but I feel like I am the reason he has become so mean. I think he is unhappy and hates his life and takes it out on me, even though all I do is try to make his life easier. Even though he does NOTHING to help me relieve the stress I am constantly under.
claytonsgirl77
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:07 PM
Well, unfortunately, things have gotten worse since my post. He left for work yesterday afternoon right when I got home from taking my son to the dr. He didn't speak a word to any of us and just got in his truck and left. I waited and waited to hear from him but never did, so I started calling him around 11:30 pm to just make sure he was ok. After calling and texting probably 20 times, I just gave up and went to bed. He finally called at 3 or 4 am to say that he left his phone is his truck. I was still asleep wen he got home and he acted like nothing ever happened. So I calmly told him that I thought he needed to apologize to me for what he did the previous morning and for calling me those horrible names. He said he didn't do anything wrong and that it was my fault because if I would not been such a b**ch to him, that he wouldn't have called me those names and treated me that way. So of course the fight began to escalate again. He said f- you you stupid b**ch! So I slapped him in the face. Then he stood up, so I stood up and he said hit me again, lie he was threatening to bit me back, so I slapped him again. After that, he rared back his arm and made a fist and said hit me agin you b**ch and see what happens. He's 6'1 270 lbs., but I wanted to call his bluff, so I slapped him again. He said he was leaving and calling the cops on my psycho a**, and would be back to get his stuff after the police take me away. Then he left. No police ever came and I have not seen him since. That was at 11:30 this morning and it is now 2:00 pm. I don't know what to do. I know I should not have hit him, but I just can't deal with the name calling any longer. I bust my a** to take care of these kids and him and our house but since I don't get paid for it, he thinks he is the only one contributing, so that gives him a sense of entitlement to just go to work and come home and sleep without helping me do anything! I still don't know what to do. When he left he said he couldn't be with someone that puts their hands on him and that he would see me in court.
Serenity7
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:58 PM

 ((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

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