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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I don't want a divorce.

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:13 PM
  • 23 Replies

I have posted alot of things on here about my marriage, my pregnancy, and my husband. But I haven't really voiced how I feel about my separation and possible divorce. I DO NOT WANT IT! I want my husband back. I have tried playing nice with him and agreeing with what he wants hoping it will open his eyes to the fact that he doesn't really want this. He has left before and come back after a month or 2 of cooling off and conversations between us. This time seems different. He has surrounded himself with his family that hates me and will only really talk to me when he is not around them. I really feel they are pushing for this. Is there anything else I can do to try to get him back? I'm doing counseling, I have suggested counseling for us or at least 1 sit down with a mediator so he can really see what he is suggesting. Sometimes the things he says gives me mixed signals but when I ask him straight out he says he is done for good. His reasoning is that this life we built is too stressful, 2 kids, I'm pregnant, we were moving, and he was the only worker. He was in the mental hospital for 5 days to get away and he doesn't want to go back. But is there ANYTHING else I can do to help him see that he will regret this in the future?


And we just had a conversation which he initiated and it came up about honesty. I want to tell his family what has really happened between us so they will stop putting all the blame on me and saying poor him. My hubby said if I do that then we are done done. I thought we were already done done? Mixed signals or am I just too hopeful?

by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:44 PM

Your husband has to want to be with you. You can not force him to come back to you. ((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

k_cook12
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this
You cant force him to be with you. He has to want to be with you. Im not sure what happened between you two but maybe if you sit down and talk to him about what went wrong between you too and if it can be fixed. Dont give up on your marriage! Hugs!
leanntx
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:48 PM
PP is right, you can't force him to stay married. So sorry momma. (((Hugs)))
villagemamma
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:54 PM

Im so sorry momma :( i wish i could give you a hug. If there was any way we could magically make people be the people that we need them to be that would be wonderful but sadly we cant. All we can do is find a way to make ourselves happy and find peace. You need to find a way to make youself happy without him. You do have the strength. Who knows what the future holds for you. Things may work out with you husband or they may not and you may find something even more wonderful.

Good luck and i really hope you can find the strength you need for your babies.

xoxRachelxox
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:02 PM
2 moms liked this

You can't make him want to be with you. If he's done, he's done. You need to move on and make a life without him. It's going to suck but why chase after someone who doesn't want to be with you? 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:14 PM

 Unfortunately, I agree. You can't make him want to be with you. Good luck. (((HUGS)))

Kaybean
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:16 PM
Why was he in a mental hospital?
csnyder2217
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:36 PM



Quoting Kaybean:

Why was he in a mental hospital?


He was in the hospital because he was so overwhelmed with stress he said he wanted to kill himself. And I do agree with you other ladies that I can't make him stay, but I don't want to give up on my marriage. I don't want to just give him the divorce because our lives are stressful right now. Life isn't easy for me, but I don't want to run away from our life and get a divorce. Things won't always be this stressful.

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Apr. 27, 2013 at 5:53 PM

I don't see any past posts about what's been going on.. .did you delete them? 

As for what he is doing, wake up :) He has already checked out of your marriage. Time for you to move on. You cannot force him back and if you do push him too much, he may run further. 


You never know, he may wake up 3 yrs from now and say it was biggest mistake he ever made, you two fall madly in love, and get married all over again. 


3kidz123
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 6:05 PM

Sadly what you want doesn't matter here. It takes two to make a marriage work and no matter how much you want it, you can't do it alone. You can keep pushing him and make things worse for you and the kids or back off and start healing. This SUCKS....lot's and lot's of SUCKS, but it's where you are right now!

You won't always be here, you won't always feel like this...but for now it's where your at.

Be sad, be angry...but don't make it worse on you and the kids by fighting a loosing battle.

I really do hope he changes his mind, and you can hope for it too...but there's not much else other than hoping that can be done at this point.

HUGS

Quoting csnyder2217:



Quoting Kaybean:

Why was he in a mental hospital?


He was in the hospital because he was so overwhelmed with stress he said he wanted to kill himself. And I do agree with you other ladies that I can't make him stay, but I don't want to give up on my marriage. I don't want to just give him the divorce because our lives are stressful right now. Life isn't easy for me, but I don't want to run away from our life and get a divorce. Things won't always be this stressful.


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