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If you argue how often does SO say he needs time alone

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Not bickering type arguments but a pretty good one.

Does your SO ever say he needs time alone?

And of so, how often does he need this kind of space?

I like to try to repair things as soon as possible. This is a new behavior for me, just wondering if anyone else has similar experiences.
by on May. 1, 2013 at 8:15 PM
Replies (21-26):
nicole2884
by on May. 2, 2013 at 3:44 PM

when ever its a bad fight yes we both need time to ourselves , i dont think its a bad thing, but it can also lead to unresolved issues, nothing wrong with taking a 10 min break to regroup an then address the issue it helps prevent us from saying things we dont mean

jmjdj
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2013 at 4:48 PM

The only time my SO has ever told me he needed to be alone was when he was dealing with having killed a person.  (No...he didn't murder anyone.  He is a freight train engineer and the guy committed suicide by train.)  It kinda hurt my feelings and it almost turned into an argument because it is the opposite of what I would have wanted in that situation.  But I had to realize that we all deal with things different and he needed time to process it and know it wasn't his fault.  Me telling him would not have helped at all.  I gave him his space and he was better the next day.  It was the first time it had happened for him and likely won't be the last time. 

jmjdj
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2013 at 4:51 PM

This was my ex and me!  He got mad quick and over it just as fast.  I needed to stew for a while and he just wouldn't leave me alone!!!


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

We're the opposite. If we argue I just want to get away from him, he's the chaser. I just need some time to not have to look at him and cool off, he's agressive and keeps coming after me until he thinks it's resolved. I HATE that. Just leave me alone. All I ask for is a little while to collect my thoughts and get over it, I can't do that if he's badgering me, it just amps me up even more. It's disrespectful. If he can't respect my wishes and give me time to cool down, then how can I NOT be mad?


 

alexislovesjr
by on May. 2, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Never. I usually am the one saying I need space. He can go from angry to wanting to cuddle and make up in a split second but I stay angry for a while sometimes. Although everyone has always told my my DH is more obsessive over me than most husbands.

createive
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2013 at 6:22 PM

Thank you very much for your comment. This is quite similar to our dynamic. Last fight is the reason I posted this. He said he needed time alone and I stayed with him and fell asleep on his shoulder. Amd finally "made" hm go to bed with me.

The next day he came to me and to me as you said, I was disrespectful of his wishes to no have left him alone. And that when someone needs space they need space. He was seemingly more mad at me for not giving him space than he was the orignal argument.

It's fine. I'll give him space. I'm simply not used to it, that's all. I love him, I'll get it.

Thanks again!


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

We're the opposite. If we argue I just want to get away from him, he's the chaser. I just need some time to not have to look at him and cool off, he's agressive and keeps coming after me until he thinks it's resolved. I HATE that. Just leave me alone. All I ask for is a little while to collect my thoughts and get over it, I can't do that if he's badgering me, it just amps me up even more. It's disrespectful. If he can't respect my wishes and give me time to cool down, then how can I NOT be mad?



justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2013 at 7:31 PM
No
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