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Would you say marriage is "hard"?

Posted by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:40 PM
  • 44 Replies

If Marriage Is So 'Hard', You Might Be Doing It Wrong

by Sasha Brown-Worsham

marriage hardMarriage is so many things at so many different times. It can be hilarious, wild, sexy, frustrating, boring, exciting, and productive and then suddenly turn on its head and be 15 other things all at once. But the one thing almost everyone tells brides-to-be and women in general is that marriage is "hard." I am not sure I would agree, though.

I guess it really depends on your definition of "hard." It can be challenging, but many good things are. Sometimes compromise can be a bummer and you would really rather do your own thing. Sometimes sharing the remote is depressing when you would rather watch your own show, but I would never say that marriage itself is "hard."

My husband and I recently chatted about this and I asked him this same question. Did he think our marriage was hard? His answer: Not really. When two people vow to spend forever together, there are bumps, sure. And some days are harder than others. But overall? Being with my husband is a joy. I wouldn't describe it as "hard."

It always seems like such a negative thing to say. Oh marriage is HARD. Challenging might be a better word. Because running a marathon is challenging, but incredibly worthy. Raising kids is challenging, but the most loving thing you can do. Most of life is challenging, but that's part of what makes it so incredible.

Challenges are part of the joy of life. But when I think of hard, I think of tasks I hate. Writing late at night is hard and I hate it. Dealing with my dog's poop on the floor is "hard" and it makes me insane. Getting up at 5 a.m. is "hard" and no fun.

Saying it's hard somehow implies that it isn't worth it or that there are many parts of it that are bad. I disagree. Why would anyone stay in a marriage that feels like drudgery and makes you unhappy?

So stop saying it's "hard," people. Say it's challenging. Say it's interesting. Say it's rarely boring. Even say it keeps you on your toes. All of those things are so much better and they sound it, too.

Look, you aren't toiling in the fields. You are building a life with a person you love and cherish, whose body you find attractive and whose face you wake up next to every day. You are forging new ground with your BFF and having a slumber party every night. Does that sound "hard" to you?

Would you say marriage is "hard"?

by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:49 PM
2 moms liked this
Hard is really just a synonym for difficult, eventful, trying, etc. So marriage is hard, I say it all the time. I love being married but working together and being a team on everything is hard
by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:52 PM
2 moms liked this
Relationships take work. All relationships, not just the romantic variety. In that respect, marriage is hard. But the hard work should pay off in a healthy marriage.
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:03 PM

any long term relationship takes work , married an unmarried, it can be trying an hard but to just label it as hard over all is not accurate

people think they can aviod the struggles married people face by staying single or just being committed in a long term relationship but they to well face the same situations

marriage is not hard, long term relationships are challenging

by Member on May. 2, 2013 at 2:06 PM

Yes it's hard

by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:07 PM
Yes. It is very hard. But I love my husband either way.
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:10 PM
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Any type of relationship takes work, and while that work can be enjoyable, it's hard work. I play the piano and sing, and practicing 3 hours every day is HARD. It's hard to find the time or the energy and actually doing the work is hard. But every day I get better, and that's the reward. I do it because I love it. Just like I work hard at my relationship with my husband; I make sure he's happy and taken care of and he does the same for me. It's hard because we're inantely selfish creatures and we want things for ourselves, but we love each other enough to make our relationship works. He hates to travel. And when I say hates, I mean HATES. He's a severe homebody and while I like being home, traveling is AMAZING. So I go on trips alone. It's cheaper and allows me to do the things that I love while he gets to not be pressured into something he's uncomfortable with.

by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:14 PM

I dont think it's hard either....but I guess for some people it is. For us it comes really easy usually. Both my husband and I have people we live, work, and hang out with that will share their relationshsip struggles and complaints with us and we just have a hard time relating or giving good advice because we really just don't have those issues. I do feel like I get to hang out with my best friend and have slumber parties lol. But our schedule this doesn't happen every night....maybe that schedule helps us appreciate our time together more.

by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2013 at 4:27 PM

I agree with this article.  Marriage isn't hard.  I've always said there are so many things in life that are hard love shouldn't be one of them....that includes marriage.

by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2013 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 It can be. Its part of my life, and life comes with all kinds of good and bad. I do believe the difficult times are a good opportunity to grow as a couple though.

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