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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is this unusual or is it normal due to circumstances?

Posted by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:11 AM
  • 9 Replies

Ok so me and my bf have been together for about a year now and he has a daughter. I also have two kids but at the moment they do not live with me until september. At first the daughter was very violent ,she would walk up to people and hit them, and she didnt listen and she was pretty much the boss. My bf said that we should make some rules so we did and my step daughter got a lot better. Just so you know my stepdaughters background a little bit and why she was so violent is her mom used to hit her dad and she was constantly screaming.The mother would constantly allow the child to get away with everything and then when she finally got irritated would snap on her. But anyways just recently i noticed that shes been very touchy feely with her father when i am around. When i leave the room she follows him around. She is constantly on his butt. If he goes to the bathroom she will sit outside the door and wait. If he leaves the room she runs and follows. He sometimes gets very annoyed cause he will try and just cook or clean and she is constantly following him. And when i am in the room she has to constantly be touching him. She likes to put her hands up his pants and just constanly be on him. Ive asked people if this was normal and they have said no but due to the circumstances i think it is. So id like to get some more oponions please? :)

by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:11 AM
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Replies (1-9):
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on May. 4, 2013 at 5:48 AM
1 mom liked this

 The clinginess could be understandable but the extra touchy feeliness and putting her hands on his butt and up his pants is NOT. It sounds like it would be benefitical to EVERYONE especially after all she has been thru that she get some child therapy and if the therapist feels it would be beneficial maybe some family counseling to go with it.  Even if its the beginning of an issue its easier to nip it in the bud the RIGHT way than to let it get out of control or evolve into bigger problems. Also how old is this little girl?

YVONNE

Kathy-PSPR
by on May. 4, 2013 at 11:49 AM

That is how my SD was when she came to live with us 10 years ago (she was 8). He needs to set boundary's now. My DH did not and it has been hell, it's like she thinks she is in competition with me. Within the last year he has finally seen and tried to deal with it, but I really think it's to late. 

Sunshine2plus2
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Being clingy yes but putting her hand up his pants something is for wrong. What does your DH say or do when she does that? How old is the girl?
AlannaMaria
by Alanna on May. 4, 2013 at 12:44 PM
How old is she?
JustJazzie90
by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:17 PM


When she puts her hands up his pants he stops her.

Quoting Sunshine2plus2:

Being clingy yes but putting her hand up his pants something is for wrong. What does your DH say or do when she does that? How old is the girl?



JustJazzie90
by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:18 PM


She is 3 years old. Its very hard to talk to her and explain things to her because as of right now she dosent really understand or speak well.

Quoting AlannaMaria:

How old is she?



villagemamma
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 3:20 PM

Definitely sounds like shes ha a rough life. All you can do is just reenforce good behavior and correct bad bahavior. The only thing that will make things better is time at this point. Hang in there momma

LilliesValley
by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:23 PM
Clinginess is not wrong but the way she is going about it is. Your bf needs to set very firm guidelines with her especislly with the touching.

It may be more behavior she learned from her mom. Is she in any sort of therapy because that may help and they may be able to give you and bf some tools on how to work through this.
MomToovey
by Marianne on May. 4, 2013 at 4:47 PM

 I 100% agree with this.

Quoting earthangel1967:

 The clinginess could be understandable but the extra touchy feeliness and putting her hands on his butt and up his pants is NOT. It sounds like it would be benefitical to EVERYONE especially after all she has been thru that she get some child therapy and if the therapist feels it would be beneficial maybe some family counseling to go with it.  Even if its the beginning of an issue its easier to nip it in the bud the RIGHT way than to let it get out of control or evolve into bigger problems. Also how old is this little girl?

 




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