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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Am i the only person feeling alone in a relationship?

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where to start? i'm new to this..

i've been in my relationship for almost 4 years and together we have a son, who is 20 months old. my partner and i went to school together but never spoke in school as we were from completely different groups and to be quite frank, i couldn't stand him or his friends. once we left school, we began emailing and talking via msn. he became my bestfriend, helped me with problems, was there when i needed him most and helped me leave a relationship where i was being taken for granted and didn't belong in. he made me see that i deserved better. he wanted more but i didn't, instead i wanted to be with an ex boyfriend who treated me terrible. my bestfriend asked, why wouldn't i give him a chance? so i thought exactly that, why!? what have i got to lose?!

he was the perfect boyfriend aswel as my bestfriend. he knew when to have a serious conversation but he always knew how to have a laugh, he always made me laugh. he never took anything too seriously.

things have changed. he no longer laughs, ever. i can't remember the last time he looked or seemed happy. i enjoy playing with my son, and i ask him to come and join in but he much prefers sitting at the computer playing computer games. on a sunday (twice, maybe three times a month) he goes out on his scambler (off roding motorbike) with friends, thats the only time he goes out, so I suppose I can't complain with that. but when he's here, he may aswel not be as he just sits in the corner on his computer all the time.

I've asked him several times if he still loves me and wants to be here and he says yes and he doesn't know what he'd do without me! when our son is in bed, I sit and watch tv. I talk to him but he doesn't listen as he is too engrossed in his games. I talk to the wall, well atleast thats how i feel. I'm fed up, lonely and bored. We have no conversation, no spark, nothing.

I've been diagnosed with severe depression, and although I know it's the past adding to it, I know another reason for making me feel so down is because I feel like I'm in a dead end relationship. Unhappy, lonely and unwanted. I need someone to talk to as I feel I have no one.

Is there anyone out there? Anyone who can talk, maybe someone who is in or has been in the same situation as I am. I would love to hear from you, even if you haven't been in this situation, even if you just want to talk then that would make me happy.

Hope to hear from you soon :) sorry for the rant, by the way!

by on May. 5, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Replies (11-18):
Kellileanne
by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:49 PM

I know how you feel.  Only my husband regularly gets stressed then takes it out on me saying he just doesn't know if he wants to stay married, doesn't like the house a mess..........yeah, get off your ass and help me out once in a while and you will see alot get done. :-/ SMH

ilovemykids365
by on May. 5, 2013 at 11:47 PM

 I agree with this.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

 sit and talk with him. A real heart to heart. Ask him what he wants from your relationship. Tell him what you would like. Tell him your hopes and dreams for your little family. See if he shares them . Ash him how much he willing to compromise so that you are both happy. This will let you see just where your relationship is headed and if you want to still be in it. Hugs momma.

 

mamavaness
by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:31 AM
I feel alone too but it's not because my husband doesn't try to be a part of the family but it's because he only has 1 day a week to be with us. I feel like a single parent but then again he doesgive me the oppurtunity to be a sahm. I would talk to him, express how you feel, and maybe counseling? Idk hun, it sucks but just keep pushing forward and communicate communicate communicate! best of luck!
ochoa.mama
by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:39 AM
OMG I was in same kinda relationship, 6yrs in we were just like room mates, no joke. We slept in separate rooms for our last 3yrs. And when he finally proposed I was soooooo over it & had him move out


Quoting SimplySinead:

We've spoke about marriage but he isn't ready, he said when he is I'll be the first to know and that one day we'll definitely be married, just not yet. I've been so desperate to be engaged but now I know, if he does ask then I'll say no as I'm really not happy!


Krysden
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2013 at 7:47 AM

bump

SimplySinead
by on May. 6, 2013 at 7:48 AM
He never wants to do anything, trying to get him to go out and do things is a nightmare. We popped into town (our shopping mall etc) as I needed some work shoes and he moaned at the 2nd shop. I only needed to go into 2 shops but thought while we're here I may aswell get my cousin a birthday card as her birthday is today. So instead of the 2 shops I originally planned on going in, I went into 3! He huffed and puffed and was sarcastic. And because someone walked into him, he blamed me and said im awkward. Its like I cant do anything right and hes just never happy.
If we were happy then id want to be with him but the way things are, I dont want to. Im just worried that id feel lonely if he werent here, I know its like he isnt here atm but its just having a presence there, if I were alone completely then id feel worse.
thats why I said only one night a week away, so he knows how it feels and it'll give him the chance to miss me and it'll help me see if I can go it alone or if I really need him here.
vinalex0581
by on May. 6, 2013 at 8:30 AM

have you tried counseling?

SimplySinead
by on May. 6, 2013 at 2:06 PM
Yeah he isnt the sort for that, he'd just say he isnt speaking to someone we dont know and he doesnt even see we have a problem so he wont do it.
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