Am i the only person feeling alone in a relationship?
where to start? i'm new to this..
i've been in my relationship for almost 4 years and together we have a son, who is 20 months old. my partner and i went to school together but never spoke in school as we were from completely different groups and to be quite frank, i couldn't stand him or his friends. once we left school, we began emailing and talking via msn. he became my bestfriend, helped me with problems, was there when i needed him most and helped me leave a relationship where i was being taken for granted and didn't belong in. he made me see that i deserved better. he wanted more but i didn't, instead i wanted to be with an ex boyfriend who treated me terrible. my bestfriend asked, why wouldn't i give him a chance? so i thought exactly that, why!? what have i got to lose?!
he was the perfect boyfriend aswel as my bestfriend. he knew when to have a serious conversation but he always knew how to have a laugh, he always made me laugh. he never took anything too seriously.
things have changed. he no longer laughs, ever. i can't remember the last time he looked or seemed happy. i enjoy playing with my son, and i ask him to come and join in but he much prefers sitting at the computer playing computer games. on a sunday (twice, maybe three times a month) he goes out on his scambler (off roding motorbike) with friends, thats the only time he goes out, so I suppose I can't complain with that. but when he's here, he may aswel not be as he just sits in the corner on his computer all the time.
I've asked him several times if he still loves me and wants to be here and he says yes and he doesn't know what he'd do without me! when our son is in bed, I sit and watch tv. I talk to him but he doesn't listen as he is too engrossed in his games. I talk to the wall, well atleast thats how i feel. I'm fed up, lonely and bored. We have no conversation, no spark, nothing.
I've been diagnosed with severe depression, and although I know it's the past adding to it, I know another reason for making me feel so down is because I feel like I'm in a dead end relationship. Unhappy, lonely and unwanted. I need someone to talk to as I feel I have no one.
Is there anyone out there? Anyone who can talk, maybe someone who is in or has been in the same situation as I am. I would love to hear from you, even if you haven't been in this situation, even if you just want to talk then that would make me happy.
Hope to hear from you soon :) sorry for the rant, by the way!