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Do you REALLY hate your mother-in-law or is that just what you feel like you're supposed to say?

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Posted by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:51 PM
  • 83 Replies

I Love My Mother-in-Law for Raising the Man I Married

by Jeanne Sager

dearest motherWhen I told people how I spent spring break this year, more than a few cringed. I spent days in my daughter's room. Painting. With my mother-in-law. And the truth is, we had a blast. We talked. We laughed. We sang P!nk at the top of our lungs.

Ladies, I'm sorry. I know hating your mother-in-law is about as American as singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and eating pizza. Entire sitcom episodes are written about it. Heck, entire movies. According to one study, 36 percent of women hate their mothers-in-law so much they'd prefer visiting the gynecologist.

But the truth is, I don't.

I don't hate her.

In fact, I like my mother-in-law.

Heck, hold on to your hats, ladies and germs, because I would even say we're friends, and not just of the Facebook variety. Scarier still, I set up her Facebook account for her ... so she could be my friend and keep up on her granddaughter's life via my page!

She gets to see every time I spill my guts on social media.

My mother-in-law is not the kind of granny who sticks her nose into parenting decisions, nor is she the mom who has her son on speed dial. My husband and his mother have a good relationship but not one that is inordinately close. She lives a good day's drive away from me. I'm not troubled by her popping in at all hours of the day.

I'm lucky. I get that. The gods have come together to grant me a rare gem: a mother-in-law who is not demanding and who actually laughs at my jokes.

I think sometimes I scare her. But she is kind enough not to tell me. Or my husband.

I appreciate it more than she knows.

In fact, I appreciate her more than seems to curry favor with other women. I've had to clamp my mouth shut a time or two because our relationship mystifies women who could fill a book with the rants about their meddling mothers-in-law.

Ladies, I hear you. We all have our crosses to bear, and she's yours.

But with Mother's Day coming up, can I just offer a view from the mother-in-law loving side of the fence?

I have come to realize that part of loving my mother-in-law, for me anyway, is in seeing that she is the reason the man I love exists. I don't just mean that physically. She gave birth to him, yes, but she also raised him to be a man with a healthy respect for women who pulls his weight around the house and is one hell of a father.

He is the man he is today in no small part because of the mother he had growing up.

Most men are.

In fact, even though it's popular to hate your mother-in-law, I bet you'd find there are things you really like about your mother-in-law. They attracted you to her son.

So maybe you don't have the kind of mother-in-law who will do a dance party with you on your vacation. And maybe you don't have a mother-in-law who you can be Facebook friends. Maybe you don't lend your mother-in-law books. Maybe you would prefer she live on another planet.

But give her a break. You'll want your daughter-in-law to do it for you one day.

Be honest: do you REALLY hate your mother-in-law or is that just what you feel like you're supposed to say?

by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DKk0531
by Member on May. 6, 2013 at 12:58 PM
Yes i truly hate my mil. Im not going into horror stories but that lady needs to be locked up in a damn nut house. I believe dh and i are soulmates, wether she gave birth to him or not we would have been together. That lady was not mentally stable to have children.
MelanieMans
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Yes, I really hate her, even her own son hates her.
arthistmom
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:01 PM

No, I don't hate my MIL. She has never given me any reason to do so. She raised a wonderful man in my husband, she adores our boys, and we talk about books. It's all good.

WillsMOM72
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:02 PM
No, I don't hate her.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on May. 6, 2013 at 1:03 PM

No absolutely NOT!

MrsApple
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I've never hated my MIL.In fact,I think I got lucky in the mother-n-law department! Sure she can drive me nuts sometimes but so does my own mom!

newwifenmom
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I do not, she's cool.

pittymama
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:06 PM

i absolutely adore my MIL. she's the cutest, sweetest (sometimes overbearing and annoying) lady.

mrsbrand
by Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:12 PM
I LOVE my MIL. She recognizes that DH and I are grown ups and are doing our own thing but is ALWAYS there if we need advice or just someone to vent to about life. She respects boundaries, but is loving and warm. I feel like I really lucked out a lot of the time because my MIL is a way better mother to me than my own mom is. Of course she isn't without her faults, but neither am I and neither is DH. We love each other in spite of and because of all our quirks and differences. I consider myself very lucky and very blessed to have her and my other in laws as well for that matter.
MrsWhite101610
by on May. 6, 2013 at 1:23 PM
With my mil we have our days. Her and my mom are friends (that's how dh and I got hooked up), but both my mother and mil like to talk about me at times. For example mom told me mil complained about dd's hair (she's white/black...biracial and her one braid was coming out), mil also has nothing to do with us except when she wants me to drop everything to bring dd to visit her, then its just dd...she will talk to me about 15 minutes trying to find out details about dh and I then hint for me to leave. She calls when she wants info, never visits even though I'm literally 5 minutes away. Her and her whole family assumed I'd be the mother who goes out and parties and leaves my kid with grandma, I think she was hoping for it and was disappointed when she realized I don't even drink, have never been to a bar/club, and don't 'hang out.' She always wanted a little girl since she has sons and thought she'd be getting it with dd... Guess she got fooled because dd is with me 24/7 and stuck up my ass lol
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