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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Just plain frustrated

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:06 AM
  • 5 Replies

Hi Everyone! 

 I posted this in the introduction thread and Steph advised me to post here to get some more advice and support, so I'm doing just that. Also venting a bit so bear with me.

My name's Jennifer and I'm a 28 year old mom to two children, ages 5 & 6 and a step-mom to five children, ages 1, 15, 16, 19, & 21. My hubby and I have been married since January and things have been great...except during the last three weeks. 

He was laid off for about four months and returned to work three weeks ago. Since then, his teenagers have kept his schedule on the weekends completely full which leaves little to no time for him and I. He works day shift and I work second shift, so our time is usually limited to late night and weekends. With the fishing, camping, hiking, movies, and various other activities his children plan with him, my children and I are never included. That generally means I'm home all weekend with just my children and sometimes, my one year old stepson while he's out with his older kids. 

This has put a bit of a strain on things outside of the bedroom obviously, but in the bedroom, he's extremely attentive. It's driving me insane! Now, I'm not thinking divorce or anything like that. I'm merely trying to find a way to...gently remind him that his wife and step children need his attention too. 

by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:06 AM
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Replies (1-5):
polkaspots
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:10 AM
Just tell him. The one, five and six year olds can't do certain things but its certainly not fair to never do anything with them in favor of older children. I would just talk to him about. I highly doubt he sees what he's doing.
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Pookie717
by on May. 7, 2013 at 2:24 AM

Thank you so much! I have talked to him about it a few times and he did actually make plans for us to go to the zoo this last weekend and take just the little ones, but the older kids and his best friend took him fishing instead which once again left the younger kids at home with me. I can only think to keep talking to him about it, but don't want to nag at him either. 


Quoting polkaspots:

Just tell him. The one, five and six year olds can't do certain things but its certainly not fair to never do anything with them in favor of older children. I would just talk to him about. I highly doubt he sees what he's doing.



polkaspots
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:47 AM
That sounds like an excuse to me. They didn't take him, I'm sure they asked and instead of saying no I have plans, or inviting them, he said sure. It seems like you're legitametly upset by this and he doesn't understand. I think you should talk to him about it again and make more permanent plans, like every other weekend or something he puts aside for you and the younger kids, or all of them together.


Quoting Pookie717:

Thank you so much! I have talked to him about it a few times and he did actually make plans for us to go to the zoo this last weekend and take just the little ones, but the older kids and his best friend took him fishing instead which once again left the younger kids at home with me. I can only think to keep talking to him about it, but don't want to nag at him either. 



Quoting polkaspots:

Just tell him. The one, five and six year olds can't do certain things but its certainly not fair to never do anything with them in favor of older children. I would just talk to him about. I highly doubt he sees what he's doing.





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MagicTemptation
by Christina on May. 7, 2013 at 11:13 AM

I understand dad needs time with his older kids. Because you are close in age to some of them, there might be resentment. Tell your husband that at least x amount of hours each weekend need to be carved out for you and the younger kids. The younger kids can go fishing and light hiking an such. Plan a family picnic at a park or something, invite all the kids. Give them a heads up and let them know not to plan anything on that day.

AlannaMaria
by on May. 7, 2013 at 12:57 PM
Write him and email Or a letter telling him. You have to have a balance and he needs to make more time for you and him.
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