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I don't want to have sex with my husband no more

Posted by on May. 17, 2013 at 11:33 AM
  • 22 Replies
I have been married to my husband for 3 years now, but we have been together for 7. We have three kids ages six, three and two. I started losing my libido when I got pregnant with my oldest and it just started to go down hill after that. I'm not going to say that our marriage is perfect because its not. It seems like we have more downs then ups. My husband was verbally abusive and still, but not as much as he used to be. I left him for a few months after I ad my daughter and he changed a lot of what he was doing. Now we are dealing with me not wanting to have sex. We have sex maybe once or twice a month. I don't know what is wrong with me, I am 22 I'm not supposed to be like this when it comes it sex never less with my own husband. And I feel so bad because when he tries to touch me I pull away or I cringe, just the thought f him touching me makes me cringe. Now when we do make love it is amazing, so its not that. So now he is saying that if I don't start having sex with him more he is going to look else where for sex, which hurts me a lot. I just don't know what to do :(
by on May. 17, 2013 at 11:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2the.rescue
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:34 AM

Sounds like the 7 yr itch.  It's real.  Are you on birth control?  That totally killed my libido...and I didn't realize it till I was off...I thought it was him, not me lol. 

baby-on-board
by New Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:37 AM
No I'm not on any birth control
baby-on-board
by New Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:38 AM
But me not wanting to have sex has been going on for the past six years
Two_Hearts
by on May. 17, 2013 at 11:38 AM
4 moms liked this

I am guessing i know exactly what your problem is..

you are only 22 , you have 3 children..and on top of that you are dealing with verbally/emotionally abusive husband!

If i had a husband that did not want to treat me with respect or love me like he should be, i wouldn't want to be intimate with him either.

i think its your self concious telling you that he is not the right guy for you.

When you are in love with someone it is that bond..the love, good communication and trust that they will treat you how you should be treated that makes you want to make love to them and be intimate with them.

From what you have said in your post , it doesn't sound like you have that..and even if he has lessened on the emotionally abuse , the problem is ...it STILL happened and its still there..they say that emotional abuse is worse than physical...with physical the bruises go away , but the words that are constantly said to you stick in your mind even when you aren't think of them.

kaylaybaby666
by on May. 17, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Then dont have sex with him. Leave him if there is no sexual connection
veganistic
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Well, i hate to say it, but in. Marriage you make sacrifices. You would probably expect him to put out once in a while if you wanted it and he never did, so I think it's best to work on this issue and in the mean time try to say yes at least as much as you say no. As for him saying he will look elsewhere... That's dickish, but i don't know the context of the statement so i won't really comment on that.
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veganistic
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:44 AM
**if you want to stay together, That is. You are young and this may or may not pass.
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CarlyK23
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Therapy!

baby-on-board
by New Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:48 AM
I have been trying to get him to go to therapy with me for years even before we were married but he won't go.
polkaspots
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Why do you think it's a problem that you don't want to have sex with somebody who is verbally abusive? That's not a problem, that's your body trying to tell you to take care of the problem and stop trying to convince yourself to be intimate with a man you're not happy with.
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