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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

When you got married did anyone get mad that they weren't invited?

Posted by on May. 17, 2013 at 11:38 AM
  • 50 Replies

Hello ladies. I am getting married next month and have been having some trouble dealing with people who are upset with me for not inviting them. They are on my DF's side, and he has a huge family. We are only having about 70 people at my wedding. Well one of Lj's cousins is pissed at me because she wasn't invited. Now we are getting married in FL. Me, DF, DD, my father and in laws are flying to FL from NJ to go down there for the wedding.

DF's cousin lives in FL, she lives about ten hours from my mother and where are having our wedding. Now she is pissed because she didn't get invited. Some of DF's family is coming, mainly because they wanted to go and asked us if they could go. DF didn't want anyone in his family to know we were getting married specifically because of this purpose. 

Now we are not planning on this being our one and only wedding. We are planning on throwing a big party together mainly for his family to come to because his family is so huge. And so that way anyone who wanted to go to our FL wedding could be there to see us do it over again up here in NJ. 

Anyone else go through something like this? How did you handle it? 

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by on May. 17, 2013 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
1st_time_mom789
by on May. 17, 2013 at 12:59 PM

BUMP

shortyshorts25
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:15 PM

yes!! i had a very very small wedding.. i was 8 months pregnant and got married at my parents house.. just siblings and parents and we invited one close friend ( for each) and obv they could bring their SO's my aunt who i was close with growing up was upset with me for awhile but i just explained that it was something we wanted to do before the baby was born and it was for us.. i didn't let it bother me they all know i love them and it wasn't about them it was about us.. 

1st_time_mom789
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:24 PM

Did they understand? My wedding got a little out of hand as far as invites went. It was literally supposed to be my parents and brothers, DF's parents and sister, DD and my cousin who is my MOH. Well my in laws started telling everyone that we were getting married and DF's family pretty much invited themselves. I didn't have a problem with it, but I had a feeling someone would get upset before rationalizing what we actually wanted. DF talked to his cousin and first told her off and then apologized and explained that his family seems to be against me for some reason when I haven't done anything to them. ANd that he tired of his family trying to get me involved in their drama.

Not only that, I am 13 weeks pregnant with my second child and by the time we get married I'll be 17 weeks. We also wanted to be married before this baby was born. 

Quoting shortyshorts25:

yes!! i had a very very small wedding.. i was 8 months pregnant and got married at my parents house.. just siblings and parents and we invited one close friend ( for each) and obv they could bring their SO's my aunt who i was close with growing up was upset with me for awhile but i just explained that it was something we wanted to do before the baby was born and it was for us.. i didn't let it bother me they all know i love them and it wasn't about them it was about us.. 


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shortyshorts25
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:33 PM

some people did some didn't.. My aunt still "jokes" around about it but tbh it doesn't bother me my family is all hot headed lol.. explain to them that although you love them that this is for you and your hubby .. if they don't then give them some time to cool off.. Do what makes you guys happy.. i can understand the stress especially being pregnant i was a whale when my wedding day came along lol .. 

Quoting 1st_time_mom789:

Did they understand? My wedding got a little out of hand as far as invites went. It was literally supposed to be my parents and brothers, DF's parents and sister, DD and my cousin who is my MOH. Well my in laws started telling everyone that we were getting married and DF's family pretty much invited themselves. I didn't have a problem with it, but I had a feeling someone would get upset before rationalizing what we actually wanted. DF talked to his cousin and first told her off and then apologized and explained that his family seems to be against me for some reason when I haven't done anything to them. ANd that he tired of his family trying to get me involved in their drama.

Not only that, I am 13 weeks pregnant with my second child and by the time we get married I'll be 17 weeks. We also wanted to be married before this baby was born. 

Quoting shortyshorts25:

yes!! i had a very very small wedding.. i was 8 months pregnant and got married at my parents house.. just siblings and parents and we invited one close friend ( for each) and obv they could bring their SO's my aunt who i was close with growing up was upset with me for awhile but i just explained that it was something we wanted to do before the baby was born and it was for us.. i didn't let it bother me they all know i love them and it wasn't about them it was about us.. 



xoxRachelxox
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:34 PM

I wasn't able to invite any of my cousins. I have a huge family and was only able to invite my aunts and uncles. My cousins were very understanding about it though, knowing we were paying for the wedding ourselves, they didn't take any issues with it. 

My friend that I grew up with was invited and I guess her mom was upset that I didn't invite her as well. I had to draw the line at immediate family and very close friends because we had to keep it under 75. I felt bad but if she didn't understand why, I can't help that. 

xoxRachelxox
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:36 PM

My niece is going through this now. Her soon to be mil (which is also my mil) wants to invite her boss and also the family eye doctor! Really? The family eye doctor?!

I told her she needs to set the amount of people and tell everyone, sorry but these people cannot go. If people can't understand that, oh well. They aren't paying for anything, you are.

1st_time_mom789
by on May. 17, 2013 at 2:05 PM

Very well put. Thank you. 

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

My niece is going through this now. Her soon to be mil (which is also my mil) wants to invite her boss and also the family eye doctor! Really? The family eye doctor?!

I told her she needs to set the amount of people and tell everyone, sorry but these people cannot go. If people can't understand that, oh well. They aren't paying for anything, you are.


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SierraLynn
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2013 at 2:07 PM
Yeah, everyone.
We eloped.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrs.hartman12
by on May. 17, 2013 at 2:09 PM

Yup we eloped and I have gotten shit from some people but I don't care. I got married my way. Besides no one was offering to help even though I was pregnant, and when someone did offer to help they flaked out. So I scratched the whole thing and we eloped. No regrets. 

1st_time_mom789
by on May. 17, 2013 at 2:10 PM

How exciting! That you eloped. Where if you don't mind my asking?

Quoting SierraLynn:

Yeah, everyone.
We eloped.


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