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How do you let go of the anger? It just keeps building up.

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 5:15 AM
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 When you and your husband fight, do you hold onto to all the mean things he says to you? I just can not seem to forgive him this time and I am still holding on to anger from things we fought about months, even years ago. Tonight we having an awesome night, he was playing CALL OF DUTY and I was on the laptop. I guess people were cheating on the game and he just BLEW UP, not at me at first. He went in the kitchen and said that he was hungry, ok fine whatever.  I simply said "dang baby, you're still hungry? You just had a big ass hambuger". He looked at me and said " SHUT THE FUCK UP!! DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING" "SEE, YOU JUST TURNED ME THE FUCK OFF, THERE IS NO WAY I'M FUCKING YOU NOW" and "DON'T WATCH ME, WATCH TV AND SHUT THE FUCK UP".  I thought he was kidding at first, till I tried to ask him if was he serious and told me to shut up again. I was in shock that he just blew up at me for saying anything. That fucking game gets to him too much and I end up crying before the night is over.

What husband says this hurtful shit to his wife, because other people were cheating on the game. I wasn't being mean about it, I had a smile on my face and all. If he hadn't blew up at me like that, he would have found out I was going to make him another one. I do EVERYTHING for him and he takes his anger out on me and I am tired of it. I don't talk to him that way EVER. I am mad at myself for letting it get to me this way. I'm tired of his lame sorry ass temporary "I'M SORRY BABES".

We have had sex once this entire month and we had plans to make love tonight and it was ruined because I said something about him eating a hamburger. I feel like I can't say anything to him anymore without him correcting me or telling me to shut up or him calling me stupid. He's my husband and I love him more than anything. Now, watch 2or 3 days from now he'll want some pussy or a blow job and the entire time we are intimate, all I can think of is how he treats me and it's not enjoyable. Don't let me say that I am not in the mood, then he gets pissed because I NEVER EVER say no to sex and I am afraid to say no because I know it will be a fight. I have not had a decent orgasm with him in over a year and we have been married going 2 yrs next month but been together 8.

How do you let go of it and move on? How do you forgive something that keeps repeating? Now this bastard is sleeping right next to me and I just really want to bash him in fucking skull right now. We are having a fight and this fucker has the nerve to fucking sleep!!!

by on May. 19, 2013 at 5:15 AM
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98765
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 6:45 AM

Wow. Well, first of all we do not speak to each other that way.  We do not use that disgusting language ever, especially towards each other.  

I dont know what to tell you except maybe try being nicer. 

justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 7:02 AM
omg can I give you a hug :(

Ok my husband and I have said some brutal things, but not that mean. And when we did, it was as I walked out of the door prior to a separation. The separation that fixed our relationship leafing to our marriage.

anyhow, no you shouldn't get over it. He should never speak to you that way. Ever. It isn't excusable. It isn't acceptable. And you need yo bring that to his attention when he isn't playing that game. You should maybe mention putting the game up for a while if he cannot control his temper.

I'm so sorry :(

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on May. 19, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Eh, my husband is a volcano too. He blows up over ridiculous shit and says awful things, then comes back and apologizes later. It's just how he processes stuff. Honestly, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. It doesn't phase me. I just listen to him with my eyebrows raised and ask him if he's done yet, and if he feels better now with a sarcastic tone. 

BeiberHATER
by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would give my right nipple to be able to act that way. It's just not in me to speak up for myself to him. I would love not to give a damn and just let it roll off my back. I envy you :(

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Eh, my husband is a volcano too. He blows up over ridiculous shit and says awful things, then comes back and apologizes later. It's just how he processes stuff. Honestly, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. It doesn't phase me. I just listen to him with my eyebrows raised and ask him if he's done yet, and if he feels better now with a sarcastic tone. 

 

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on May. 19, 2013 at 11:52 AM
2 moms liked this

LOL, it's taken yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears to get to this level. Honestly, while he's going off I start making my grocery list in my head, or start singing television theme songs. It's hard to let anything get to you while you're silently singing the words to The Love Boat in your head. 

Quoting BeiberHATER:

 I would give my right nipple to be able to act that way. It's just not in me to speak up for myself to him. I would love not to give a damn and just let it roll off my back. I envy you :(

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Eh, my husband is a volcano too. He blows up over ridiculous shit and says awful things, then comes back and apologizes later. It's just how he processes stuff. Honestly, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. It doesn't phase me. I just listen to him with my eyebrows raised and ask him if he's done yet, and if he feels better now with a sarcastic tone. 

 


Megan11587
by Megan on May. 19, 2013 at 11:57 AM
Idk. We dont fight like that. Honestly if my hisband talked to me like that I would have lost it. I think counseling would do wonders for your marriage. Gl
newlife2013
by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:59 AM
My ex used to talk to me and then you realize no that is not arguing, that was insults and it was hurtful. Of course you remember these things that he says, by the time I knew it was time to leave I remembered what was said, how it was said and the pain I felt. Seek counseling to treat ea other better if you want to stay w him. Good luck to you.
Anryan
by Platinum Member on May. 19, 2013 at 12:05 PM

When david was younger he was like that nad ReadWriteLuv hit the nail on the head...It was the same thing i would do (even the "are ya done yet" lol) and it was like a toddler, when he realized that was all he was getting from me and i wasn't gonna fuel his crap it stopped.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Eh, my husband is a volcano too. He blows up over ridiculous shit and says awful things, then comes back and apologizes later. It's just how he processes stuff. Honestly, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. It doesn't phase me. I just listen to him with my eyebrows raised and ask him if he's done yet, and if he feels better now with a sarcastic tone. 


BeiberHATER
by on May. 19, 2013 at 12:14 PM

 lol, the love boat comment made me smile. Thank you. I needed to smile

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

LOL, it's taken yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears to get to this level. Honestly, while he's going off I start making my grocery list in my head, or start singing television theme songs. It's hard to let anything get to you while you're silently singing the words to The Love Boat in your head. 

Quoting BeiberHATER:

 I would give my right nipple to be able to act that way. It's just not in me to speak up for myself to him. I would love not to give a damn and just let it roll off my back. I envy you :(

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Eh, my husband is a volcano too. He blows up over ridiculous shit and says awful things, then comes back and apologizes later. It's just how he processes stuff. Honestly, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. It doesn't phase me. I just listen to him with my eyebrows raised and ask him if he's done yet, and if he feels better now with a sarcastic tone. 

 


 

kagegirl
by on May. 19, 2013 at 12:24 PM
I would have said somethibg like, you act like sex with you is a prize. Fuck off, if you can even remember how!!! So is bipolar abd he says shit like this too. My inner smartass always wins though.
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