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DON'T Marry Him if His Parents Can't Stand You -- Trust Me, I Know

Posted by on May. 21, 2013 at 8:28 AM
  • 29 Replies
1 mom liked this

DON'T Marry Him if His Parents Can't Stand You -- Trust Me, I Know

by The Stir Bloggers 

wedding bandsMaking the decision to kiss your single life goodbye and commit to one person for the rest of your life is pretty darn huge, to say the least. And while most of us go into marriage assuming there will be good times, bad times, and everything in between -- generally we figure we'll live happily ever after in one way or another.

But you know what puts a real damper on a seemingly good marriage? Shitty in-laws. Who have never done a damn thing for you and never will, and who have never bothered to do whatever it takes to make sure your relationship with them is healthy -- even if deep down inside they absolutely can't stand you. (People with half a conscience know how to fake it.)

And you know what the worst part of having horrible in-laws is? Odds are good you knew they were awful before you walked down the aisle and said, "I do."

But when you're in love (or think you're in love) and in the midst of planning a wedding and entering the next major chapter of your life, you tend to let things like your future in-laws treating you like garbage fall to the wayside. You figure the relationship will get better as soon as you're a part of their family.

That's exactly what I thought would happen to me -- but it didn't. Actually, from the moment I had a wedding band on my finger, things got progressively worse and worse over the years. And now it's to the point where sometimes I want to find a time machine and go back to my wedding day, kidnap myself, and ride off into the sunset alone to save me from a life of being related through marriage to people who obviously despise me and seem to go out of their way to remind me of that every chance they get.

That being said, I'd like to go ahead and issue a warning -- no, make that an ORDER -- to any future brides out there who are about to marry a man whose parents aren't kind, loving, accepting, insert any other warm and fuzzy adjective here.


If you do, you'll wind up regretting it someday. (Well, maybe not all of it if said marriage produces offspring -- but most of it.)

I don't care if you think he's "the one." I don't care how far along you are in the wedding planning process or how much money you've already spent. And I don't care if all your friends are getting married and you feel like you're the only one left and can't bear the thought of turning 30 and still being single.


Trust me, several years later, when you're at a point where your marriage is teetering on the brink of failure, partly due to the issues his family has caused -- you'll wish you listened to me instead of making what will inevitably turn out to be the most disappointing choice of your life.

I'm not trying to rain on your parade, make you miserable, or ruin your hopes and dreams with a few ranty paragraphs. I'm trying to SAVE you so you don't wind up frustrated, sad, confused, and unsure what direction you want the course of your life to take -- like me.

RUN. (Now.)

Have you thought about calling off your engagement because of your future in-laws? (What are you waiting for?)

by on May. 21, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 21, 2013 at 8:31 AM
That's only if he is the type of man that wouldnt stand up for you. If he's the type that's like this is my wife deal with it or stay away, I think you can marry him. He clearly isn't going to allow disrespect.
by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2013 at 8:34 AM
I didn't then. I loved my dh to look past his momma. I have gotten into arguments with her the last one I called her every name in the book in English and a few in patois lol. What resulted in that was us moving sixty miles from her. She said sorry because the fight was her fault but I think distance from in laws and strength in your marriage goes a long way
by on May. 21, 2013 at 8:35 AM
My husband's family doesn't like me. Our marriage is awesome! He doesn't give them opportunity to be in our lives anymore because of the drama they used to create.
by Amanda on May. 21, 2013 at 8:37 AM

I don't have that dh's family likes me...

by Bronze Member on May. 21, 2013 at 8:41 AM

My in-laws and I had a rocky start.  After my oldest was born issues were put aside and I found out how awsome they were.  They are now my best friends and I am closer to them than my own family.  I don't just love them-I actually like them.

by Member on May. 21, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I dont agree with this article.

I am black and my husband is white.You would think I married into the KKK...

My marriage went through some tough times.Yet through it all my husband I stood strong in our love and raised our kids.We are lucky in the fact that some of his family has come around.I think because they had no choice.Either accept us...or stay racist.We told them we always had our hearts and door open for them.

We never regretted marrying each other.We are better people because of one another.In fact he asked me to marry him again:)...I said...yes...yes...yes!!

What matters most is your relationship not what anyone else thinks...not even your inlaws.

by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this

That is some great advice! I wish I would have gotten to know my in laws better before we had gotten married. My husband only took me where they live once & I honestly didn't realize how horrible they where. It had caused some horrible problems in my marriage. I would have re considered marrying him if I would have known. There where small clues but I didn't catch them.

by on May. 21, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Thank goodness my inlaws are wonderful people. I married into a great family.
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by on May. 21, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Only true if he's the type to take their side in things.

by on May. 21, 2013 at 12:37 PM

 This is a little extreme..

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