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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

5 Reasons a Wife Can ALWAYS Say 'No' to Sex

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:25 AM
  • 35 Replies

5 Reasons a Wife Can ALWAYS Say 'No' to Sex

by Sasha Brown-Worsham

turning down sexOne of the perks of being married is that sex is kind of always on the menu. When you are single and sexually active outside of a relationship, you can go for months without getting any and it can be stressful, depressing, and downright frustrating. Even with all this being said, though, sex is never really guaranteed every night and every day without any boundaries. That isn't what marriage is all about.

It seems a contingent of women are proud of the fact that they "never say no" to their spouses. I would argue that, in many cases, constantly saying yes is bad for your marriage, too. I know in my marriage, my husband really only wants to when I am in the mood, too. He would rather I say no (and respect me more) one night and then be hella excited the next one.

A wife isn't a personal sex slave. Men respect a woman with boundaries more anyway, and sometimes we are just not in the mood. With this in mind, here are 5 reasons a woman should say no:

1. She is tired: Yes, sometimes sex can energize you, and sure, you can try that, but in general, if you are tired, SLEEP. Don't force yourself to do something you only half want to do. No one wins in that scenario.

2. She feels fat: Sorry, but the idea of having sex when you feel gross and unattractive isn't that appealing. By all means, get over it quickly, but every woman is allowed one "no" day because she is bloated and feeling less than sexy.

3. She is reading/watching a movie/whatever: Respect your wife's time and she will respect yours. If a man wants sex while a woman is reading, then HE is the selfish one. Give a lady some peace, dude. She probably doesn't want to have her vagina probed while she is in the best part of a book she hasn't been able to get to all day.

4. She is "touched out": For a woman with many kids, there does come a critical mass of touching and that happens kind of early on. Give her some space.

5. She isn't in the mood: I am not suggesting women always say no to sex or that women are the only ones who say no (all these go for guys, too), but in a healthy sex life where both partners are satisfied, there is room for "no" sometimes, too. Not being in the mood is a good reason for no.

Do you ever turn down sex?

by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kidlover2
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:31 AM
Rarely.... I'm usually the one begging for it.
xoxRachelxox
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:34 AM

I say no when he's been drinking. Being drunk is a turn off for me or when I have my period. 

Other than those times, I'm usually the one that wants it more than him. 

lulalacroix
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:50 AM
My husband woke up this morning ready to go. I'm on the first day of my period and feel super yuck. I never said no, just gave him a handy!
othermom
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:58 AM

Yes I do sometimes

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:08 AM


 

Quoting kidlover2:

Rarely.... I'm usually the one begging for it.

Same here.

 

mom2the.rescue
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:10 AM

I have the past few days b/c he keeps picking big fights with me...then he apologizes and wants sex.  umm...no.  I don't care how much I want it, I'm tired of him thinking just b/c he says sorry he gets some action.  I want us to be lovey-dovey again ;(


AJ-47
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I have turned hubs down once, and it was only because I needed to work out and didn't want to do so after sex. Otherwise, I don't say no. I'm not proud of the fact that I don't; it's just something I cannot do.
RheaF
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this

 No, I never really have a reason to. DH has gotten good at reading my moods. If I am upset, feeling sick, etc. he will not bring it up, and has never once made me feel guilty. Instead he will try and make me feel better.

mom2the.rescue
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:11 AM

oh, and the 'touched out' thing is soooo real.  He used to totally not understand  when the kids went to bed and I wanted some space,

goddiddlyumshis
by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:13 AM
I've never turned it down. we are extremely sexual :)
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