My SO and I have been having some trouble in our relationship as far as being close to one another. Pretty much, I want sex like 4-6x a week. He on the other hand, I have to get him on a good day 2x a mth. We've had sex 2x in the month of May, 2times!!!(We use to have sex 3-5x a week then for a few mths it was 2-3x a week and now fast forward to 2x a month for april/may) But this morning he's in the shower, and usually I'm asleep. He get's up at 4am for work. Well Today he was off and got up @ 6am, and I was awake, cause I went to bed early w/him last night. I checked my Facebook, and saw I had an invite to a close friends birthday. So I went to tell him while he was in the shower that I wanted to go, before he made plans. Well I go and I see he has his phone w/him IN the shower. So I open the door and I'm like, "ur on ur phone? Who r u txting?" And he was like, "I'm not I'm on facebook" so I look @ his penis and see cums dripping and I look back @ him and went, "y is cum dripping?" And he was like, "I'm just soaking my feet, relax" but I kept going and he told me, " Okay, I masturbated!" And so I yelled, "that's y u have ur phone? For porn?" He said yes, and I stormed out.
Let me make something clear, I masturbate, cause I'm not getting enough sex, and I need a release. But I only do it if I've tried w/him. So I do like 1x a week, I need a release. I don't work, I'm home WHENEVER he wants it and I ALWAYS want it. So I'm hurt and mad that he is "too tired" for sex everyday but in reality he's been masturbating. He knows our lack of sex has me becoming very self conscience and starting to feel unattractive (which I'm not) but none the less, making me feel so. He knows I am battaling some hard emotions w/our sex life. To me when he says no, I feel it as a diss. So he comes out of the shower and I'm sitting on the bed, and he tries to talk to me, I ignore him. He keeps trying so I say, in a calm voice to fight back tears, "leave me alone, don't talk to me, don't look at me, please, just go take SD to school, and..... FUCKING STAY THERE!" I started crying at the ... Part. He looks at me and say's, "babe masturbating is normal, u do it too" and I yell @ him, I'm already very emotional, "ya... But NOT when you don't have sex w/me!, I masturbate cause YOU don't want sex, I want sex and ur masturbating behind my back! u say u don't, but I just caught u!" He left to take SD to school. He asked me to stop crying cause he doesn't wanna see me like that, hurt. I'm very hurt! I don't even want to look at him. What would u do? Am I crazy for feeling even more unattractive and unwanted now?
Ps.. Him masturbating isn't a bad thing, if we had a healthy sex life, and we don't...
Sorry mobile, wrote fast, and I'm the WORSE @ spelling.