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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Masturbating in the shower

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:21 AM
  • 43 Replies
Okay, I'm actually very sad to write this. But, I needed to say it to someone and get opinions. I am just heartbroken! Let me explain..

My SO and I have been having some trouble in our relationship as far as being close to one another. Pretty much, I want sex like 4-6x a week. He on the other hand, I have to get him on a good day 2x a mth. We've had sex 2x in the month of May, 2times!!!(We use to have sex 3-5x a week then for a few mths it was 2-3x a week and now fast forward to 2x a month for april/may) But this morning he's in the shower, and usually I'm asleep. He get's up at 4am for work. Well Today he was off and got up @ 6am, and I was awake, cause I went to bed early w/him last night. I checked my Facebook, and saw I had an invite to a close friends birthday. So I went to tell him while he was in the shower that I wanted to go, before he made plans. Well I go and I see he has his phone w/him IN the shower. So I open the door and I'm like, "ur on ur phone? Who r u txting?" And he was like, "I'm not I'm on facebook" so I look @ his penis and see cums dripping and I look back @ him and went, "y is cum dripping?" And he was like, "I'm just soaking my feet, relax" but I kept going and he told me, " Okay, I masturbated!" And so I yelled, "that's y u have ur phone? For porn?" He said yes, and I stormed out.

Let me make something clear, I masturbate, cause I'm not getting enough sex, and I need a release. But I only do it if I've tried w/him. So I do like 1x a week, I need a release. I don't work, I'm home WHENEVER he wants it and I ALWAYS want it. So I'm hurt and mad that he is "too tired" for sex everyday but in reality he's been masturbating. He knows our lack of sex has me becoming very self conscience and starting to feel unattractive (which I'm not) but none the less, making me feel so. He knows I am battaling some hard emotions w/our sex life. To me when he says no, I feel it as a diss. So he comes out of the shower and I'm sitting on the bed, and he tries to talk to me, I ignore him. He keeps trying so I say, in a calm voice to fight back tears, "leave me alone, don't talk to me, don't look at me, please, just go take SD to school, and..... FUCKING STAY THERE!" I started crying at the ... Part. He looks at me and say's, "babe masturbating is normal, u do it too" and I yell @ him, I'm already very emotional, "ya... But NOT when you don't have sex w/me!, I masturbate cause YOU don't want sex, I want sex and ur masturbating behind my back! u say u don't, but I just caught u!" He left to take SD to school. He asked me to stop crying cause he doesn't wanna see me like that, hurt. I'm very hurt! I don't even want to look at him. What would u do? Am I crazy for feeling even more unattractive and unwanted now?


Ps.. Him masturbating isn't a bad thing, if we had a healthy sex life, and we don't...

Pps
Sorry mobile, wrote fast, and I'm the WORSE @ spelling.
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by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MagicTemptation
by Christina on May. 29, 2013 at 10:29 AM
I am sorry sweetie. I really don't have any advice. Although I think now, the "too tired" excuse is out the window. I would tell him not to talk to me until he can tell my exactly why isn't he being intimate with you when he knows you are craving it.
2bkayleesmommy
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Exactly! I know he's tired sometimes! He works 10-12hrs and it's physically demanding. But I also know if u have enough energy to get up early enough to rub one out, you can stay up an extra 20 mins to give me a quicky too!!!!


Quoting MagicTemptation:

I am sorry sweetie. I really don't have any advice. Although I think now, the "too tired" excuse is out the window. I would tell him not to talk to me until he can tell my exactly why isn't he being intimate with you when he knows you are craving it.

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hot_momma84
by Member on May. 29, 2013 at 10:36 AM

i dont have any advice. my husband and i dont have sex only time  i pull out the vibrator is when i am drinking anymore. he only wants me for blow jobs and to put it in my butt which i do not like. worries bout himself. sending hugs men are just jerks

2bkayleesmommy
by on May. 29, 2013 at 11:17 AM
We're ONLY 26 and 28 and been together 3years... :( I just feel our growing old together won't happen


Quoting hot_momma84:

i dont have any advice. my husband and i dont have sex only time  i pull out the vibrator is when i am drinking anymore. he only wants me for blow jobs and to put it in my butt which i do not like. worries bout himself. sending hugs men are just jerks


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MrsOlivar
by on May. 29, 2013 at 1:57 PM

I would feel very hurt as well hun...maybe he's feeling insecure about himself? Maybe just hear what he has to say about it & why he doesn't have sex with you. Then go from there.

lace-n-heels
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:01 PM
2 moms liked this

been there, done that....men are different. To them sex and cumming are just a thing. There is  NO emotional attachment to it, where as with us we need it for other reasons and there is an emotional attachment. It prolly didn't even dawn on him he was going to hurt your feelings. I would sit down with him and tell him.

mamacalifornia
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:04 PM

I would feel vey hurt by this. When he is home you need to talk to him, figure out what is really going on with him. 

MommySchatzi
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:14 PM
I used to feel hurt when my husband did this, it bothers me a little bit, but you have to understand that most of the time men do it not because they no longer feel anything for you or no longer get turned on by you. They do it to release the build up and my husband says it hurts when build up happens. The porn makes it easier for them, some are good with their imaginations.
la_bella_vita
by Bella on May. 29, 2013 at 3:58 PM

 I would feel hurt and upset as well. I'm the same way as you, always available. ((Hugs))

proudmommy690
by on May. 29, 2013 at 4:01 PM
I would be so hurt too :( im so sorry
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