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I want a vacation..Is this selfish??

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:44 PM
  • 8 Replies

DH and I have literally not spent time alone in over a year..no date night, nothing since last May. The only alone time we get is locked in our room...and now it's not even that because I just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I love my kids, with all my heart and would die for them...but I NEED A VACATION.

I dared to say this to my mom, who I'm usually very close with, and she jumped all over me. Saying I'm being selfish and I need to be there with my kids espeically since I have a newborn. I NEVER said I wanted to spend days away or anything yet, because I could never be away from my kids when they are so small. I was talking like next summer, DS will be a little over a year old, but evidentally thats too young still. I just want to spend a weekend at the beach or something just me and DH. I feel like we really need to reconnect because this past year has been a whirlwind. 

How often do you think mom and dad need a few days away to reconnect? Once a year? Every other year? Am I being selfish? I really miss that quality time with DH and I know he misses it too. Thankfully my cousin is coming over tomorrow night so he and I can FINALLY have a date night.


Wifey to Rogen. Mommy to Adian 8-12-07, Ally 1-24-09, and Jake 5-16-13


by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:44 PM
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Replies (1-8):
BKozICan
by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:57 PM

Very regularly. We generally get away 1-2 times a year for 2-3 nights each. Most of these are work things for dh (he works in an industry where wives play a huge role in their husbands' sucesses or failures). We are usually driving 5 or 6 hours, so we spend a lot of time in the car talking, singing to crazy 80s music, laughing.

I had a friend in the middle of a divorce say, "Don't ever let you kids keep you from having a marriage."

Dee0886
by on May. 31, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Thank you! My persepective is the parents need to make the marriage a priority. Too many people get carried away with the kids and lose sight of the fact that they have to still have a good, loving, and intimate marriage..which is not the easiest thing to do with 3 kids hanging on you lol

Quoting BKozICan:

Very regularly. We generally get away 1-2 times a year for 2-3 nights each. Most of these are work things for dh (he works in an industry where wives play a huge role in their husbands' sucesses or failures). We are usually driving 5 or 6 hours, so we spend a lot of time in the car talking, singing to crazy 80s music, laughing.

I had a friend in the middle of a divorce say, "Don't ever let you kids keep you from having a marriage."



Wifey to Rogen. Mommy to Adian 8-12-07, Ally 1-24-09, and Jake 5-16-13


rayroe2
by on May. 31, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Not at all let her keep the kids and you and him do what you.
Anryan
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I don't think it is selfish.  In our household we all take turns 'stepping away'.  It is easier because we have each other to watch all the kids.  So David and I will go away every couple months for a weekend and Irish and I will go away and Dave and Cerena will go away.  Sometimes it is just for a night or even a couple hours.

I think being a couple and having that time makes for better parents.

Good Luck!!

Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

Michelle0609
by on May. 31, 2013 at 2:19 PM

My personal opinion is Yes at least once a week find time together other then the bedroom you need time to connect with no kids and if money is tight always htings or dates you can do that don't have to cost a lot either Quality not Quanity

mrsniebo
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 2:43 PM

It's not selfish to want a little time to reconnect with your husband, even if it's getting a little time to take a walk around the neighborhood with him while someone watches the kids for half an hour. As far as vacations go, I can understand not wanting to leave your newborn, but once they get a bit older it's refreshing to get a little time away (assuming you leave the little one with someone you trust so you aren't spending the entire vacation worrying).

SlightlyPerfect
by on May. 31, 2013 at 3:47 PM

Of course it's selfish. Go on vacation!

slightlyperfect

1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 4:02 PM

 We have been married for 21 years. I believe we have stayed so strong because we take the one on one time. Every Saturday evening, we go out to dinner. In all these years, we may have missed 5-6 Saturdays, due to illness or me just giving birth. I is rarely any place fancy, but it doesn't matter.

 We also go away for a weekend every 4-5 months.

 My mom has blessed us with our weekends since the boys were very small, maybe 4 months old. Before then, we took (just the infant) with us to dinner, not for weekends, however, those were just ours.

 

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