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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Dealing with an Ex.

Posted by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:38 AM
  • 16 Replies

My df's ex-girlfriend is also his oldest son's mother. 

I KNOW they have to talk. I have absolutely not issue with them talking all day about their son. I know he's also trying to be friends with her, which I like, because my parents were divorced when I was young and didn't get along at all. 

What I don't like is that she texts him late at night. For example, she just texted him, and it's 12:30am. I only know becase his phone is beside me on the table & it lit up. 

I'm not making a big deal out of it and I have mentioned it to him once, but its not worth anyone arguing over. But, my question is am I being irrational in not liking that she texts him late at night for reasons not related to their child? I know it's probably some jealousy kicking in. lol.

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by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:45 AM
1 mom liked this

If you are not comfortable with it then let him know. Is there any reason for her to contact that late if it isn't an emergency?

My exdh and I talk late at night. However that is because of his work schedule. He works offshore, 6 hour rotations. When he is off shift he is sleeping, eating etc.. when he is working, he can't have his phone during the day shift but at night he can so we talk then. My S/O knows and understands this. He works overnights too so I am usually up waiting to hear from him anyway.

starbuckadama
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:49 AM

That makes sense. She doesn't work, so she could text him anytime during the day. 

Whenever I mention things to him that she does that I don't like, he tells her to stop, and it doesn't phase her. She does what she wants. Most times he doesn't text her back unless it's about their son.


Quoting MagicTemptation:

If you are not comfortable with it then let him know. Is there any reason for her to contact that late if it isn't an emergency?

My exdh and I talk late at night. However that is because of his work schedule. He works offshore, 6 hour rotations. When he is off shift he is sleeping, eating etc.. when he is working, he can't have his phone during the day shift but at night he can so we talk then. My S/O knows and understands this. He works overnights too so I am usually up waiting to hear from him anyway.



MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:51 AM

If he told her to stop, he really can't force her too. If he is ignoring her unless it is important about their son, I wouldn't let it worry me. He is doing what he can on his end.

Quoting starbuckadama:

That makes sense. She doesn't work, so she could text him anytime during the day. 

Whenever I mention things to him that she does that I don't like, he tells her to stop, and it doesn't phase her. She does what she wants. Most times he doesn't text her back unless it's about their son.


Quoting MagicTemptation:

If you are not comfortable with it then let him know. Is there any reason for her to contact that late if it isn't an emergency?

My exdh and I talk late at night. However that is because of his work schedule. He works offshore, 6 hour rotations. When he is off shift he is sleeping, eating etc.. when he is working, he can't have his phone during the day shift but at night he can so we talk then. My S/O knows and understands this. He works overnights too so I am usually up waiting to hear from him anyway.




Droyal14u
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 1:58 AM

There's no reason for her to text him so late at night, especially in regards to anything OUTSIDE of the son.  Jealousy or not, but at least he has your back with placing the phone on your side of the bed. Obviously he has nothing to hide. Just let it slide. If you trust your husband, it's nothing to worry about.

wodntulk2kno1
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 2:11 AM
I had to stop my ex from texting and calling.. Just to talk. His intentions were because of him wanting to work things out still, tell me he misses me, etc.
even though he is dating he still calls with issues and 9 out of 10 times it isn't about the kids.
This won't stop until he puts a stop to it.
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LveMy2K1dS
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 11:14 AM

My SO's ex used to do this. Constantly. He told her many times to stop and she kept doing it. She thinks she can do what she wants because they have a child together but it was never even about the child. She has finally stopped but she still texts him sometimes for random things that he doesn't give a crap about. Its annoying but he puts up with it because of the kid

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 11:30 AM

 I'd be annoyed because we'd be in bed and it'd wake me up. I'd ask him to tell her that he doesn't accept texts/calls after 10p.m. unless it's an emergency.

lilbit53009
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 11:34 AM

i agree with you that it's not appropriate. the only reason she should be texting that late is if there is an emergency with their child.

my husband has had to put his daughters mother in check on a few things because of stuff like that and it's because she was obviously just trying to test the waters to see if she could reel him in. you'd think after 9 years and the fact they were never in a relationship to begin with she'd get the hint. 

some woman just don't get it i guess

Bertieb
by Member on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I think she's jealous, lonely or whatever and still trying to exert some role with him. My DH's ex did this right after we were married, though not late at night. You know she has to realize she could be interrupting something. I never had to do it but one of my friends advised me to get him to let me reply to the text or call so she would know I'm fully involved in any conversation and aware of it. Something like Hey, DH is in the bathroom what can we do for you?

sdbcoach
by on Jun. 12, 2013 at 12:40 PM

None of your business.

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